Aw look! One pattern, 364 versions of the MDK New Ancestral Christmas Stocking.

Knitting Aphorisms Revisited

Dear Ann, Last night was a dark night of the knitting soul. As I was doing the final (500+-stitch) rounds of Quadrature, I had to consult the pattern again to read the bit about some increases required only in the final rows of the B cables. (The B cables are the ones on the sides; the A cables are the ones on the corners. They are the same. OR SO I THOUGHT.) This was when I discovered, with a kind of handheld-camera, horror-flick terror, that I...

Read More

For Sale: Slightly Used Piece of Knitting

For Sale: Slightly Used Piece of Knitting

Dear all, I believe that this Birch edging issue generated the most rousing, undiluted unity of opinion in ten years of blogging about handknits. It’s unanimous! The border has been voted off the island, kicked offstage, yanked with a hook, booed and chucked to the ash heap of ignominious abandon. Thumbs down! DisLike! One star! Never has a border had such an unwelcome. Thank you all for your open and heartfelt opinions on this urgent...

Read More

Keep the Border or Ditch It?

Keep the Border or Ditch It?

Dear Kay, This will be a five-minute note today. I am going to type as fast as I can. How are we feeling about the Olympics? Why do they feel so polluted? Have you noticed the posture of elite athletes? It is kind of spectacular. I have concluded that pairs skating is one of the most dangerous activities in the world. And all weekend long, every time I looked at Bob Costas’s runny left eye, I immediately got itchy in my own left...

Read More

February Is Shake Your Bon-Bon Month

February Is Shake Your Bon-Bon Month

Dear Kay, January’s Get Rid of 50 Things a Day project was basically a success, in the sense that I feel better about 1,500 things not being inside my house anymore. It was not perfect, by any means–I never did go into the basement. I may never go into the basement. And the toy closet was a shattering reckoning I hope never to repeat. But I did discover that I have pretty much a lifetime supply of books I haven’t read. If we...

Read More

Deep Winter Knitting

Deep Winter Knitting

Dear Kay, Actually, I’d like to address this note to Canada. Dear Canada: WE’VE GOT YOUR WEATHER DOWN HERE. PLEASE COME GET IT. The only upside to it being 3 outside is, of course, the knitter’s paradise that comes with freakin’ cold-ass weather. Bring it on: I am wearing my most industrial gear, grateful for it all: Boreal, Laurel, Donegal, and that dense wonder, the Bubble Wrap Cowl. This morning I even took a...

Read More

More Thread Love

Dear Ann, I have been sitting here half the evening YouTubing up sad songs suggested in the comments. Whoa. There are a lot of sad songs out there. We may need to put together a Programme of Sad YouTubes and watch them together, while sipping absinthe and keening.  We will call this event, “Tuesday.” I have also activated the Random Drawer and can report that we have our 3 winners, and I have sent them all emails. (Congratulations,...

Read More

Lighten Up: A Month of Getting Rid of Stuff

Lighten Up: A Month of Getting Rid of Stuff

Dear Kay, Who kicked the plug out of the heater? I opened the door to take out the trash and it was SPICYcold. I think we broke ten degrees. These are glory days for us knitters; I’m wearing everything I ever made. It’s almost enough. A belated Happy New Year to everybody. The word for 2014 is LIGHTEN. In the interest of lightening, I decided to get rid of stuff around the house. I wanted to get rid of enough stuff that it felt like...

Read More

SOS

SOS

DEAR KAY GARDINER URGENT STOP REQUEST AID TO CLEAR HOUSE OF ALL CARAMEL CAKE COFFEE CAKE POUND CAKE ALMOND JOYS EAST NASHVILLE ARTISANAL CHOCOLATE FUN SIZE MISTER GOODBARS ALSO ALL FOODSTUFFS SHAPED LIKE SANTA STOP REPEAT MOST DIRE REQUEST STOP LOVE STOP ANN PS ALSO AM OVERCOME WITH FUMES OF NOSTALGIA TENDERNESS AND STARK PROOF OF BOYS GROWING UP TOO FAST STOP DAVID SHAYNE AT RIGHT WITH COUSIN DAVID PILSK AT LEFT 1996 SEVENTEEN YEARS LATER IN...

Read More

Imperfection, Tasty Imperfection

Imperfection, Tasty Imperfection

Dear Kay, Coming up for air here to show proof of knitting. I hope you all are getting done whatever it is you are trying to get done. Around here it’s college applications (the road to hell is paved with supplement essays) (if you don’t know what those are, YOU ARE LUCKY), exams (reliving the Civil War with an eighth grader, and I’m not just talking about history), and daily care and feeding of two teenagers. (We made hot...

Read More

Throwback Thursday: Tamatori Backstage Edition

Dear Ann, I worry that people are insufficiently roused to knitting cowls. What they need is: more cow(l)bell. (Sorry.) More oddly styled season-inappropriate photos of winter neckwear! These shots were taken over Labor Day weekend. We had the cowls. We had the cowl models. (We had the terrier.  See under photographer’s arm.) We didn’t have the cowl weather.   We had to think fast. We had to be open to possibilities. What...

Read More