The Sisterhood of the Blankie
December 17, 2004
Well, there I went, calling myself a control freak, and I didn’t even set a deadline for the Jamie Blankie [hangs head in shame]. I didn’t even give any finished measurements for the squares [writhes in humiliation].
What the heck: it turns out I’m bossy but I’m not all that effective at controlling other people. And isn’t controlling people the whole point–the joy, really– of being a control freak in the first place?
Those who are knitting mitered squares for the Jamie blanket want to know, so here goes:
1. What is the Deadline? There is no deadline, but I’d like to sew up the blanket early in February. I’ll post a big “Toot-Toot: All Aboard for the Jamie Blankie” when I’m getting ready to do it, so that those who are holding back can send theirs in. Sometimes a firm ‘Last Call’ is the only thing that can get me to the post office. I’m happy to oblige.
2. How big are these mitered squares sposed to be? I measured mine. They are 9 1/2 inches square. There is about a quarter-inch variance between my biggest and smallest miters (DAMN I’M GOOD). Being a wizened old veteran of the Afghan Sew-Up Bees of 2004, I can live with squares that range from 9 inches to 10 inches square. I know an inch sounds like a big discrepancy, but I’m hoping most squares will be in the middle of the range, and I’m relying on my field-tested ability to move squares around to even up the strips. Serpentine, Sheldon, Serpentine!
3. Design Workshop Addendum. Cristina, who thinks deeply about such matters, points out that if it’s all orange, or mostly orange, it will start to look like a kitchen appliance and/or shag rug from 1973. She thinks adding pinks/fuschias into the mix would be a good thing, and I agree.
See how nice?
With the addition of pinks, the blanket will be reminiscent of my stunning Ikebana arrangment of pink & orange plastic forks at the baby shower:
You would not believe how many guests buttonholed me to whisper, “Who did your forks, Kay? You must tell me, darling.” [Yo, Kay! Wake up from your idiotic fantasy that anybody noticed your Still Life With Pink & Orange Plastic Forks!]
What I’m saying is, if your stash lacks orange, use pink or fuschia. In the best of all possible blankie-knitting worlds, use some orange and some pink. I also think it would be wise to avoid black and other very gloomy colors. Being Lis’s daughter, Jamie probably will wear black, early and often. She might sometimes remind people of little Wednesday Addams. But we don’t have to be a part of that.
Don’t be surprised if all postings about the blankie disappear in a week, when Lis returns home. Right now I’m counting on Jamie to keep Mommy out of the computer room at the White Swan Hotel. (Jamie: When you see the sign for ‘Business Center’, you know what to do. Remember what we agreed? Full-blown tantrum and/or hissy fit? Your best effort? Got it? Good.) When Lis returns, we will go Deep Underground with this project. I will deny all knowledge of any ‘blankie’, be it orange or pink. But I will be taking calls on my shoe phone, or you can email me on my secure line (bigbonegalAThotmail.com).
2005 resolution: be more controlling; make more rules.
P.S. UPDATE! WE HAVE A NEW RULE!
4. One 4-cornered square per customer. Emma is right. It IS a baby blanket. I’ll knit her a queen-sized one, later. We have time.