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The Sisterhood of the Blankie

Dear Ann,
Well, there I went, calling myself a control freak, and I didn’t even set a deadline for the Jamie Blankie [hangs head in shame]. I didn’t even give any finished measurements for the squares [writhes in humiliation].
What the heck: it turns out I’m bossy but I’m not all that effective at controlling other people. And isn’t controlling people the whole point–the joy, really– of being a control freak in the first place?
Those who are knitting mitered squares for the Jamie blanket want to know, so here goes:
1. What is the Deadline? There is no deadline, but I’d like to sew up the blanket early in February. I’ll post a big “Toot-Toot: All Aboard for the Jamie Blankie” when I’m getting ready to do it, so that those who are holding back can send theirs in. Sometimes a firm ‘Last Call’ is the only thing that can get me to the post office. I’m happy to oblige.
2. How big are these mitered squares sposed to be? I measured mine. They are 9 1/2 inches square. There is about a quarter-inch variance between my biggest and smallest miters (DAMN I’M GOOD). Being a wizened old veteran of the Afghan Sew-Up Bees of 2004, I can live with squares that range from 9 inches to 10 inches square. I know an inch sounds like a big discrepancy, but I’m hoping most squares will be in the middle of the range, and I’m relying on my field-tested ability to move squares around to even up the strips. Serpentine, Sheldon, Serpentine!
3. Design Workshop Addendum. Cristina, who thinks deeply about such matters, points out that if it’s all orange, or mostly orange, it will start to look like a kitchen appliance and/or shag rug from 1973. She thinks adding pinks/fuschias into the mix would be a good thing, and I agree.
jamieblanketyarn.jpg
See how nice?
With the addition of pinks, the blanket will be reminiscent of my stunning Ikebana arrangment of pink & orange plastic forks at the baby shower:
forks.jpg
You would not believe how many guests buttonholed me to whisper, “Who did your forks, Kay? You must tell me, darling.” [Yo, Kay! Wake up from your idiotic fantasy that anybody noticed your Still Life With Pink & Orange Plastic Forks!]
What I’m saying is, if your stash lacks orange, use pink or fuschia. In the best of all possible blankie-knitting worlds, use some orange and some pink. I also think it would be wise to avoid black and other very gloomy colors. Being Lis’s daughter, Jamie probably will wear black, early and often. She might sometimes remind people of little Wednesday Addams. But we don’t have to be a part of that.
Don’t be surprised if all postings about the blankie disappear in a week, when Lis returns home. Right now I’m counting on Jamie to keep Mommy out of the computer room at the White Swan Hotel. (Jamie: When you see the sign for ‘Business Center’, you know what to do. Remember what we agreed? Full-blown tantrum and/or hissy fit? Your best effort? Got it? Good.) When Lis returns, we will go Deep Underground with this project. I will deny all knowledge of any ‘blankie’, be it orange or pink. But I will be taking calls on my shoe phone, or you can email me on my secure line (bigbonegalAThotmail.com).
2005 resolution: be more controlling; make more rules.
Love, Kay
P.S. UPDATE! WE HAVE A NEW RULE!
4. One 4-cornered square per customer. Emma is right. It IS a baby blanket. I’ll knit her a queen-sized one, later. We have time.

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12 Comments

12 Comments

  1. Ah,pink and orange.That I’ll lovingly do ! How many blankies were you planning for ? Should you perhaps restrict us to one square,made of 4 mitred blocks,each ?
    I really like the fork arrangement.
    Carolyn[Girl Reaction] does orange and fuchsia with real style.I love it,but really can’t wear it.
    I’m twittering now…
    x

  2. very happy at the addition of pink/fucsia to orange, now you are talking!

  3. Cut to the year 2035…Jamie is at The White Swan Hotel interviewing a Chinese literary lion about his oeuvre for The New Yorker. (A Nobel Laureate herself, Jamie was the obvious choice.) She approaches the “Business Center” sign (a virtual sign, it is 2035…)and feels overcome with tears and a vague memory of her Aunt Kay…
    But as her deadline looms, there’s no time to reason why…
    Lori in Los Angeles, daydreaming about the woman that Lis is going to raise!!!

  4. I love the pink and orange!!!!

  5. I can’t believe I knew every single click-on-it reference without clicking. I don’t know if I feel terribly old, or terribly hip. I’m actually thinking saying “hip” makes me sound old. Pinks and oranges will be great! I should just sent the tank top I made J in pink and orange, because she’s always refused, very politely, to wear it. She DOES want a log cabin blankie though, now firmly in the WIPS pile…

  6. I have one corner knit in bright orange and yellow… but may have to start over with orange and pink. Or just add a pink corner to my square. Choices!!!

  7. Susan, I hate to tell you, but I think getting all my references qualifies you as old, but having an excellent memory, which is some consolation. Nobody ever gets the ‘Serpentine, Sheldon, Serpentine!’ reference but I keep repeating it anyway, trying to get everyone to rent the old ‘In-Laws’ movie with Peter Falk and Alan Arkin. HILARIOUS, and really, how many movies are truly hilarious? There are some situations in life that call for the ‘Serpentine!’ command and no other.
    Melissa–I may have to make a rule that there are no re-dos. Orange and yellow are GREAT. I’m just saying to throw some pink in the square somewhere, if you have pink. xoxo Kay

  8. I think your forks are rilly beautiful. You’re a regular photo stylist, hon.

  9. And one question about keeping this blankie a secret–what do we do when Lis is over there at the White Swan Googling “orange blankie unlike Wednesday Addams”? We are B.U.S.T.E.D.

  10. And finally, this 4-cornered square limit has got to be killing you, who made the 80-square psycho squares. Can you stand being part of such a . . . small . . . projeck???

  11. The Sisterhood is charitable, but probably not fooled by your characterization of my “eureka” moment vis a vis the pink. It was really the critical mass of pink and orange buttercream on Jamie’s cake that inspired, continues to haunt, me.
    If you get too many squares for a blankie, how about a matching floor cushion for the learning walker to plop on?

  12. Kay – I’m in on this too – hope Heather told you, but thought I’d just confirm! So glad pink is in there too!