Need a holiday handknit? Time for a Schmatta!

Viral Knits

Dear Ann,
Foolish mortal, I attempted to appease the great goddess KastOnn by throwing scarf after scarf into her voracious maw. Yet she remains unsatisfied and unimpressed. She demands, I’m guessing, a sweater.
What can I do? Surely the Christmas shopping can wait another day. And Hanukkah’s not until (gulp) Friday, right? I have a full 48 hours to locate a menorah in this apartment. I know there must be one somewhere, in a home inhabited by Jews for 60 years. Maybe it’s in the closet, behind the 1959 Vap-O-Rizer (in original packaging) and the I Wuv You THIS Much statuette. And remember: the great thing about Hanukkah is that you start with just 2 candles. Cast on I must.
This project should shut up old KastOnn. I am casting on:
ariann.jpg
Ariann.
Ariann is raging throughout Blog Nation like chicken pox in pre-K. Look at the knitalong: it looks great on everybody. It’s lacy, but not by any means too lacy. Even Our Lady of Subdued Grey Habit, Ann Curry, recently wore a lacy cardi on TV. (Black, but still, I swear I saw a yarnover in that thing.)
I caught Ariannfluenza from Cara, who caught it from Margene. With these two spreading the contagion, there is little hope for humanity. Don’t be one of the sad sacks who waits until 2007 to get their Ariann on. We will mock you behind your non-lacy, non-shapely back.
My chosen Ariann yarn is very Special To Me:
jaegeraqua.jpg
Yes, that is a Liberty Sale Sticker [represses sob].
jaegeraquasticker.jpg
Long ago, Polly scored me two sealed bags of Jaeger Aqua in olive green. (I don’t like to think about what she had to do to get it. What happens at the Liberty Sale stays at the Liberty Sale.) I’ve been hoarding it, waiting for the perfect project which, given the yardage here, needs to be either a Bea Arthur cocoon monstrosity or a shower curtain. I’m not sure I will get gauge for Ariann with Aqua, but if I do, I may need to make 2 Arianns. Or Ariann: the Chasuble. Or Ariann: the Room Divider. You get the idea. There are going to be leftovers.
I’m going in. Cover me.
Love, Kay

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26 Comments

26 Comments

  1. Ha, ha…Maybe you could make your Ariann and then make one for me, too???

  2. The myth grows. This sweater saved my life yesterday. Seriously. And there’s an excellent chance (we’re giving it 85-90% odds) that it might cure cancer. We’ve got to wait two weeks to find out, but I’m not going to stop knitting it – and when it’s done, I’m not taking it off – just to be on the safe side.

  3. What an amazing collection of gods and religious holidays you have mashed into this bloggy bit! We need a certain day for celebrating KastOnn, I think. Perhaps she should have Boxing Day.

  4. Isn’t Liberty’s yarn and fabric area amazing! I was there in May and couldn’t bare leaving without an armful of yarn and fabrics.
    Good luck on Ariann – it’s gorgeous!

  5. “voracious maw” ! LOL! You are such a riot!

  6. “voracious maw” ! LOL! You are such a riot!

  7. Okay — I read that as “a Bea Arthur RACCOON monstrosity,” so I had to click right over. While the cocoon thing is interesting, it’s not as interesting as a raccoon thing would have been….

  8. Ariann is very contagious and once started can’t be put away. It can be frogged (my recent dilemma) but not put down. Enjoy your virus;-)

  9. Wow, can’t wait to see the details–and I had the same fear with our recent move in our jewish/catholic house, “where did we put the menorah”, it was found, as were some cool candles at Wegman’s! Happy Knitting.

  10. The sight of a cardigan. I eagerly clicked over to the pattern and sighed. It was as I remembered. The size ranges – not quite as generous as the Perfect Sweater’s. Perhaps the Perfect Cardigan pattern is lurking in my future.

  11. YOU ARE SO FUNNY!!

  12. Please don’t laugh at me! I just decided on a color for sweater’s sake!

  13. “i’m going in. cover me.” ann & kay, the crafty answer to starsky & hutch. i can just see Kay as she dives through the door at her LYS and rolls straight over to the espresso machine.
    happiest of holidays to you & your fans– K

  14. how do I get my hands on the pattern for Ariann? I just gotta knit this.

  15. how do I get my hands on the pattern for Ariann? I just gotta knit this.

  16. how do I get my hands on the pattern for Ariann? I just gotta knit this.

  17. How can I find the Libery knits and fabrics!

  18. i think I had to elbow Jill away and bait and switch Amelia to get that yarn… but what the heck only the fittest should survive the yarn sale, right ? ;-)
    I have been seriously considering Ariann since Bonne Marie first published that pattern, however, I’m holding off until the NY, cause I don’t think that I have the right yarn for it. It’s seriously weird, that I have so much yarn but it never seems like it’s the right stuff for whatever project takes my fancy ….

  19. You don’t need no stinkin’ menorah. The best Hanukkah we ever celebrated was when we were on our way to get our little white fluffball Vincent, and we celebrated the first night of Hanukkah in a (rather dumpy) motel room in Connecticut. We took the plastic ice bucket, turned it upside down, melted enough wax to attach the candles to it, and lit ‘em. Use that Vap-O-Rizer box. What the hell. Then get knittin’. :D

  20. Green is the liturgical color for “Ordinary Time” I don’t have a Chasuble for Ordinary time….just sayin’

  21. what a great cardi – but as i have not yet joined the ranks of getting a pattern from the US OF A
    I will have to contain myself with doing the simple but looks good cardi in Kerrie’s magazine!
    will look in sales for some nice dk!!
    coz I will have fiinished the curate’s Christmas jumper by then!! (whoopy do!!)
    have a great Hannukah/Christmas to you all

  22. O Paul Michael Glaser. Never has the curling sweater known such glory. (would a tough cop curl?)

  23. Long, long ago, in a cold midwestern city (Minneapolis), the then still David Solberg played guitar at the YWCA where my mother worked as a counselor. Betcha Hutch had some pretty serious sweaters, too.

  24. Looks like I”m going to catch the Ariann cooties as well. It IS a cute knit.

  25. The goddess KastOnn does have a nasty bite doesn’t she. I’m still rubbing my hinney and that dent in the sofa.

  26. i’ve started ariann too. it’s going quickly when i actially sit down and work on it.