Aw look! One pattern, 364 versions of the MDK New Ancestral Christmas Stocking.

Cabinet of Curiosities

chenilledishcloth.jpg
Dear Kay,
In the kitchen, I usually keep a pile of emergency reading for use when eating my morning baked good and slurping coffee while keeping Clif from skateboarding in the kitchen. At the moment the emergency reading is Clara Parkes’ Knitter’s Book of Yarn, which I have moved from my bedside table because I keep falling asleep before I get to read anything. This book makes the best emergency reading because you can read exactly one-third of a page and get something out of it before having to say in a crabby way, “STOPIT! If your feet are on the skateboard, and the skateboard is in the kitchen, that means you are skateboarding in the kitchen which you CANNOT DO.”
The other morning I managed to read the Gospel According To Clara In Regard To The Tricky Issue Of Chenille. It was so inspiring–the photograph of her chenille washcloth was so lush and lovely–that I immediately dove into the stash to find my cone of FoxFibre® Colorganic® yarn, which I have been hoarding since Nancy Parsons’s sock Woodstock last March. I paired its chunky self with some shelf-aged Rowan Fine Cotton Chenille, and the hand towel I’m cooking up is going to be really cushy. Or squishy, as Ravelry goddess Jess says. Clara encourages the washing AND drying of all-cotton chenille in order to make it more dense and velvety. It’ll lose some size, but I can’t wait to see what happens to it.
I am dragging these days; it’s some sort of a cold, or bubonic plague, which has me rooting around in the medicine closet, fighting the urge to slurp some Nyquil and call it a day. I started pitching out old medicine and unearthed enough rolled gauze to bandage a World War I trench war victim.
I also discovered some ancient, quaint family planning items. Not exactly amulets made out of goat’s hair and booby feathers, but close enough. It made me realize that family planning used to be a big hobby of mine. I spent a lot of time and money planning not to have a family. Then, when the time came, I spent a lot of energy planning TO have a family. Now, I’m mostly done with the planning and I spend most of my time executing a family–aw, not EXECUTING my family, but you know, HAVING a family. Done with strategy, on to tactics. Keeping the extreme sports out of my kitchen. Explaining gravity to an eight year old as it pertains to why you might break your elbow coming off a plywood ramp if you’re not wearing a pad.
Life rolls on, doesn’t it? Anybody who needs a half a case of Today sponges which expired twelve years ago . . . I’m your girl.
Love,
Ann

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15 Comments

15 Comments

  1. Ann, I’m laughing out loud at the miles of rolled gauze and the Today sponges. Lord, those things were sometimes hard to find when you wanted ‘em.
    Thanks for making my day jolly. I needed that.

  2. The last time I heard the ol’ sponge mentioned was on the Seinfeld show.
    I said it then, and I say it now: ew!
    xo Kay

  3. I know Elaine would want them whether they expired or not. Ah, to be sponge-worthy!!

  4. Any tips on how to keep a toddler out of the dishwasher, then? Or should I just give in and put him on the china/crystal cycle?

  5. When I was in college, I earned my spending cash by babysitting for infants. One mom once said to me “you spend so long trying not to get pregnant that you don’t realize how hard it is to get pregnant when you want to.” At 19, this sentence didn’t make much sense to me. 10 years later, I think I get it.

  6. Sarah–My sister just told me about a woman she heard about who had four small children, and she would stand them up in the washing machine for their baths. How brilliant is that? “Hold on, honey, it’s time for the spin cycle.” Makes the bleach application a lot easier, you know?

  7. Ah, the days of Today sponge yore…I had to stop using them when I realized I had the exact same odds of getting pregnant on the sponge as I did of winning a small California lottery. I couldn’t see using the same odds AGAINST getting pregnant and FOR winning money. Too much to ask of the universe!

  8. Tactics. Exactly. And why is it that *flawless* logic never persuades them of anything?

  9. Sarah–I have an Irrational Fear of my toddler impaling herself on the cutlery rack. Ann–I can see how a skateboard might exacerbate that worry just a bit. Feel better!

  10. “Executing a family”……… I laughed so hard I almost spit my Diet Coke all over my computater!

  11. ah, I too immediately had the words “sponge-worthy” pop into my head. Elaine would definitely be after those.

  12. <3 hand towel love <3
    I am crazy about hand-knitted hand towels! (see my blog, http://3sleeves.blogspot.com/2007/10/knitted-hand-towels.html for the proof. I wish I had some cotton chenille in the cupboard. However, just yesterday a friend was showing me a chenille scarf that she knitted many years ago, and it was not pretty. Chenille now scares me. Does the cotton, or the stitching keep it from worming?

  13. <3 hand towel love <3
    I am crazy about hand-knitted hand towels! (see my blog, http://3sleeves.blogspot.com/2007/10/knitted-hand-towels.html for the proof. I wish I had some cotton chenille in the cupboard. However, just yesterday a friend was showing me a chenille scarf that she knitted many years ago, and it was not pretty. Chenille now scares me. Does the cotton, or the stitching keep it from worming?

  14. The sponges as Christmas ornaments? Little wreaths? You could spray paint them green and glue gold painted birth control pills to them. It’s a whole new area of craft activity. Consider the possibilities: IUD earrings, sachets made of condoms filled with herbs, and then there’s always the waterproof doll yarmulke.

  15. mmmm…the chenille handtowel looks luxe. I must make a warshcloth like that.