When Life Hands You Pink Lemons
August 1, 2005
I was all set for my first attempt at sewing an apron for Tie One On. The theme for July was ‘Pink Lemonade’. I had this fake vintage dishtowel that suits the theme perfectly. Amy had granted specific permission to all apron slackers to take a dishtowel, sew a long length of ribbon at the top, and call it an apron.
But I had my own Artistic Vision, which involved cutting out the beverages and fruits and arranging them on some bubbly pink fabric, using an old-fashioned smock apron pattern. This Vision required a sewing machine and some technical assistance, neither of which was to be had in the time allowed. So I punted, and made a few dishrags instead:
The Pink Lemonade theme got me to unearth some yellow and pink dishcloth cotton. I discovered that when I am thinking in terms of Pink Lemonade, I do like the combination of yellow and pink. So now, when I am properly equipped and get around to making a Pink Lemonade apron out of my tea towel, there will be matching dishrags to complete the domestic tableau.
A Word of Advice
OK, let’s say you’re hell-bent on going to the gym. First piece of advice is, make sure you don’t grab the wrong pair of socks and then plod away on ye olde Elliptical Trainer for 45 minutes with the backs of your heels rubbing against your sneakers.
If you disregard the first piece of advice, make sure that you don’t just stick a dab of Neosporin and a band-aid on your raw heels, jump into your flip-flops, and walk around for hours on the dirty streets of a Major Metropolitan Area. Again, consider socks. Nice clean socks with good heel coverage.
Because if you don’t, you might wake up Saturday morning with your ankle the size of a softball, very pink and streaky and tingly. Then you might think, hmmm, I seem to have a Potentially Life-Threatening Ankle Infection.
This is nothing that nine 500-milligram doses of Keflex and a tetanus booster won’t fix, but you won’t be able to do anything fun all weekend, at least if it involves standing on your foot or moving your leg around, such as might be required in swimming or walking or pin-blocking a very large mohair shawl. (Miraculously, however, you will be able to make dinner and do the dishes.) And you may also experience hypochondriac anxiety dreams based on the doc’s casual remark that, “if the Keflex doesn’t do it, don’t worry, we’ll see you on Monday and set you up with some I.V. antibiotics.”
So please, people. Choose the socks with care. That’s all I’m going to say about that. (No worries, Keflex seems to have worked, but oy! what an idiot!)