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And the Yarn Goes To . . .

Dear Kay,
Thanks to everyone who came by to watch the Oscars with us. I feel like we completed some sort of Outward Bound experience: grueling, with tedious/terrifying moments throughout.
I hope everybody has had a good time reviewing all the post-Oscar fashion roundups. Never mind the gowns: up top there is my pick for Best Shoe, Anne Hathaway’s divine heels. (Did you know there’s a website called Celebrity Shoe Size? Worrisome in so many ways.)
Our Oscars quiz contest has proved to be a total and complete pain, for many reasons.
For one thing, just as the Committee on Picking the Winner was set to meet, a guy from the Nashville Electric Service showed up and announced he was cutting off my power so they could fix a current transformer that was busted on our house. This was news to me–I thought our current was being transformed just fine. Anyway: I survived four hours of an Internet silence not unlike the far side of the moon. BLEAK! Too quiet! Eight clocks to reset! But one day of free electricity, apparently, because our meter is still unhooked. Come on over and plug in!
The larger problem, as you all noticed, was that a central character in our Oscar quiz questions, the actor Ralph Fiennes, was not even at the Oscars. He turned up in a clip from In Bruges but was otherwise off someplace wishing his hair would grow back after all that Voldemortian baldness. That can’t happen too soon, if you ask me.
ANYway. The Committee has decided to eliminate three Ralph Fiennes questions from the seven original ones:
1. Will Ralph Fiennes bring a date?
2. If yes, who is she?
3. What color will Kate Winslet’s dress be?
4. If Kate Winslet wins Best Actress, will she cry?
5. Exactly how long will the telecast be?
6. If Kate Winslet wins Best Actress, will she hug Ralph Fiennes?
7. Tiebreaker essay question (most moving answer to this will win): In twenty words or less, why didn’t Ralph Fiennes get a nomination for “The Reader?”
So: here are the answers to the remaining questions:
What color will Kate Winslet’s dress be? GRAY. It looked aubergine to me at first sighting, but I think that was just my macular degeneration talking. Aubergine would have perked up its austerity a bit, don’t you think? I do think she looked regal, in a Here To Claim My Oscar way.
If Kate Winslet wins Best Actress, will she cry? The Committe got into a big argument about what constitutes “crying” and concluded that “crying” involves “tears” and “oozing.” “Hyperventilating” or otherwise “gasping” do not count. A close study of the relevant YouTube reveals that she came very, very close yet did not shed actual, liquid tears. She did not sniffle or in any way indicate that she was oozing. So: no, she did not cry.
Exactly how long will the telecast be? The actual Oscars show began at 8:30 Eastern time, and wound up at, by my clock, 11:58 pm. Three hours and 28 minutes.
And the Yarn Goes To . . .
Nobody guessed gray. Most people thought Kate Winslet would cry. And many thought the Oscars show would last a nonspecific amount of time along the lines of “too long” or “an eternity.” After a long argument about exactly how long “an eternity” is, the Committee opted to go for more specific guesses.
So: The winner is tejasmom, who said Kate would not cry, and that the show would last 3 hours, 17 minutes–11 minutes off the actual time.
I’m giving a special yarn award for clairvoyance to the ONLY person who guessed that Ralph Fiennes would not even be there: Helen. She’s paying attention, that one.
Tejasmom and Helen, please email me your addresses via the link in the sidebar to the right, and I’ll send you your prizes.
We’re all winners, right? High five!




  1. It was an honor just to be nominated, y’all.
    (Sorry, couldn’t resist!)
    Thanks for such a fun contest! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. By Oscar Night Standards, those are orthopedic shoes. She probably got them at Tip Top. They are so sensible! They have a strap that keeps them ON THE FOOT. The heel is not crazeee (girl realizes she’s TALL and has nothing to prove with the high heels).
    I love them!
    Not as much as Purling Swine’s Fatbabies, but I love them.

  3. Tip Top, LOL. She’s got gel inserts in there somehow.
    I think the fact that all these runway models are falling off their shoes indicates the fact that the apocalypse is near. It seems odd to fall off your shoes. Shoes are supposed to be a part of the solution, not the problem.
    And yes, I need some Fatbabies, the fatter and more babyous the better.

  4. Congrats to the yarn winners- they are truly the special ones!!!

  5. What’s wrong with Celebrity Shoe Sizes? My only complaint is that there are no MEN’s sizes. What if I wanted to knit socks for Ralph Finnes? How would I know what size they should be? Actually, I would be more likely to knit them for his little brother Joseph….yum, yum!

  6. According to the msn entertainment guide, Kate’s dress was “silver blue”. I think it looks more purple than grey. Here’s the picture:

  7. Congrats to the winners. Rare that I win anything, so I’m keeping my streak going.
    I don’t think those are the shoes Ann wore with her red carpet gown, those were the “opening number dance shoes” only.

  8. I missed the contest.
    But I am not surprised that Ralph wasn’t there. He doesn’t seem to like these things, and only appears when he is nominated.
    And I think that Stephanie is right, Anne changed her outfit after the red carpet.

  9. Hey, I guessed silver, which is kind of gray! I’m congratulating myself for an almost win, a la Mickey Rourke. ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Ack…I missed by 2 mins…always the bridesmaid, never bride.

  11. News reports today say that Kate’s 8-year-old daughter was “mortified” her Mom wore grey.
    You gotta love 8-year-old girls.

  12. And I didn’t enter the contest because I couldn’t think of a reason why Ralph didn’t get a nomination. What was the answer to that question???

  13. congrats to the winners
    do we have a picture of you weeping
    thank you kay and ann -eat your heart
    out norville and hart

  14. Congratulations to Helen and tejasmom!

  15. Ah, Ann… did you see Michelle Obama tonight? AUBERGINE!

  16. Woo Hoo! I mean, I think I am going to faint! Has anyone ever fainted?!? I would like to thank the Academy, I mean The Committee for this award and for being so smart, beautiful, knitterly and especially generous. And a few words in Spanish to my peeps, Muchas gracias. You girls rock!

  17. Dear Ann and Kay, in honor of it being award season and all, I’ve nominated you (no, given you!) an award on my blog. Please come check it out when you’ve recovered from the post-Oscar partying!

  18. I am also interested in celebrity shoe sizes, for the same reason as Alyson (from the comment above). I want to knit socks for Rachel Maddow! This is because every night while I watch her show I knit socks, socks, and more socks. And suddenly it occurred to me that I should knit some for her! But I don’t know her shoe size. Any ideas? (She is not listed on the celebrity shoe size web site.)Doesn’t she seem like the kind of person who would appreciate a good pair of hand-knit socks, in some really cool self-striping yarn or something?


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