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Canary in a Coal Mine

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Dear Ann,
Why should you get all the fun with the summer contests and the YouTube strolling? I’m getting me some of that! I’m doing a raffle!
Last night hubby and I went to see The Police at Madison Square Garden. (Moment of Silence for the fact that the 1980s are no more.) Sting is fitter than a man has any right to be, Stewart Copeland is still the cutest bespectacled guy on two feet, and Andy Summers’ guitar chops are smokin’ hot, plus he gets extra credit for looking dignified while remaining rock-star raffish They did not play Canary in a Coal Mine, a nervous bit of fluff that sends me rocketing back to 1982, doing aerobics to a boom box in the dorm with my law school flatmates Bobby and Elaine, while our other flatmate Ivan locked himself in his room until the coast was clear. (Twenty-five years later, Ivan still runs like hell from Lanz of Salzburg flannel nightgowns and the smell of Noxema skin cream.)
(Here’s a YouTube of last night’s show.)
Life being full of surprises, last night, for the first time in my life, I had a backstage pass. No kidding. GET! OUT! For all the years that I have been a New York Liberty fan, I have longed to go down the tunnel where the team runs after each game. What is back there? Who is back there? And are there snacks? So, although I have a nearly fatal shyness in the presence of celebrity (unless we’re on the street and we’re both pretending that I don’t know the celebrity is a celebrity, and we say something like, ‘Hot enough for ya?’), I went backstage and shook Sting’s hand and deployed my rapier-sharp wit to say, “Glad to meet you. Great show.” Dorothy Parker had nothing on me.
As I was going out, there was Bette Midler coming in to pay her respects. Bette Midler made me think of mermaids dancing in wheelchairs. Wheelchairs made me think of Oliver’s Fund, which made me think of this raffle idea. Oliver needs a new manual wheelchair. (A kid with CP needs an unbelievable amount of stuff, and while we thank God this stuff exists, it’s awfully spendy.)
So here’s the fabulous prize package behind Door #1 (the only door):
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1. A Police world tour t-shirt, size XL, with the Union Jack on the front and all the cities and dates on the back. (The printing is not reversed as in this Photobooth image.)
2. A backstage pass for August 1, 2007.
3. A skein of ArtYarns Ultramerino, because I know who I’m dealing with.
4. The dishrag I finished on the subway to Madison Square Garden, which the winner is free to re-gift. (No judgments.)
To get a virtual raffle “ticket”, go on over to Emma’s blog, click on the link for Oliver’s Fund in the right sidebar, and make a donation of $5. IMPORTANT: Send me an email (bigbonegalAThotmailDOTcom) telling me you have done this. (If you give more than 5 bucks, and want to tell me how much, you’ll get one chance for every $5.) Tomorrow, Friday, at 8 p.m. Eastern Time (my time), the winner will be selected using the random number generator of my choice, and announced shortly thereafter.
EDITED TO ADD: I just realized that the Oliver’s Fund PayPal account is set up to accept British pounds only, at a conversion rate (currently) of .47 pounds to the U.S dollar. So the raffle ticket costs 2.5 British pounds. Sorry about the confusion, and thanks to everyone who has been giving 5 pounds!
And remember, we are doing this just for fun and to raise a little dough for Oliver’s Fund, which is not an offical charity but just friends helping friends. By making a contribution, you’re saying that you understand that and agree to make your contribution anyway. (As you know, I am haunted by my legal training. After almost 6 years law-free, I still love the smell of Notices of Deposition in the morning.)

You are going to have to trust me that it’s even better with the wheelchairs.
Love, Kay

36 Comments

36 Comments

  1. Holy rockin’ cow!

  2. Too cool. Thought those seats looked really great. Back stage at MSG for the Police, no less- LOVE IT.

  3. Dollface, you’ve come a long way from Omaha.

  4. Depos! Better than napalm!
    Valerie, the ex temp paralegal who will forgive Elliot Spitzer almost any amount of harassment of opposing pols because he gave me so much work over the years!

  5. You know, having watched that video, I’ve forgotten everything else you said. Don’t we love Bette….

  6. Love it!!!

  7. You are so frickin cool!

  8. OH. My. Lawd.
    That is quite the video. (i’m focusing on that so I don’t hate you for having touched STING!)

  9. Love the Divine Ms. M!
    Thanks for the video – cool!

  10. OMG you TOUCHED Sting! The sight of that man’s arms makes my heart skip a beat. And stick a lute in his hands and I melt. Now I want to write a book so I can meet Sting. Hmm, guess it really doesn’t work that way, does it? I hope you bought TWO t-shirts so you still have one.
    And it’s nice of you to take your fortune and use it to help someone else. It’s the Golden Rule in action!

  11. Oh. My. God. Like Tara, I’m focusing on what a sweet idea it is to have a raffle so that I don’t get so jealous that you FREAKING TOUCHED STING that I explode. :) If I had touched Sting, I think that that is all I would have said in my blog post. I might even consider getting it tattooed on that lucky appendage. I am impressed that you were able to speak, as I probably would have wobbled and drooled.

  12. I was reading along with interest and nostalgia until it saw “touched Sting” and all the rest flew out of my head!

  13. I was reading along with interest and nostalgia until it saw “touched Sting” and all the rest flew out of my head!

  14. Wow! I second and third the comments about touching Sting, heck, even speaking to Sting would be more than I could hope for. I’ll be seeing The Police on Sunday at Giant Stadium (flying up from Atlanta to go), but no back stage passes. Glad you had a great time and that they still rock.

  15. ROOOOOOOXANNE! I saw The Police in Montreal last week and it was fabulous! The nerd (total stranger) who sat next to me and talked my ear off during the concert would be so jealous that you got to shake Sting’s hand. Apparently, Sting is “very special” to him. He was planning to go wait behind the Bell Centre to see if he could meet him and shake his hand.
    Oh, and I totally agree. Stewart Copeland is cute as hell. And Sting is very well preserved!

  16. just in case you didn’t know, the oliver’s fund site does things in GBP, not american dollars. it comes out to about 2.5 GBP, for $5 (i googled it, lol)
    i hope that t-shirt is at least an XL. hubbie wanted to go til he found out how much tickets were, and how far we’d have to go to see them (somehow omaha just didn’t attract the Police here)

  17. Completely off topic, but did you guys know that Red Scarf 2008 is collecting EARLY this go ’round? It came to mind today, and I looked it up and was thankful I did: Sept. 1- Oct. 15, 2007! Thought you might be able to spread the word!

  18. OMG! I am so very, very jealous!! To be that close to those biceps…. Ahhh. After I saw The Police last month I posted about how cute Stewart Copeland is too. In the 80s, I was too wrapped up in my teenage lust for Sting to notice how freaking amazing he is, but I sure do now!

  19. What was it about Lanz nightgowns on college girls in the ’80s? We used to wear them down to the cafeteria for breakfast, I’m sure totally horrifying all the guys who chose to eat at the girls dorm in hopes of meeting some hot chicks. (what WERE we thinking?)
    thanks for the memory

  20. I have to wait until Sunday for my Police viewing (and I’ve been waiting since they broke up)! Now, do tell, did they play “Murder By Numbers” because that would be so damn awesome. I always said that I would marry the first man who knew what song I was singing when it came to that song and it will be 16 years tomorrow that I said, “I do!”

  21. Awesome idea, and I’m jealous of the concert, though I did see them a few times in my youth……lucky lucky.

  22. My Lanz of Salzburg was double-napped white. Synchronicity was our soundtrack when we did our Jane Fonda after classes. Talk about a blast from the past! Did we all age as well as them?

  23. Oh I loved the mermaids in wheelchairs routine! And if that wasn’t the smoothest segue in blogdon, from Sting to Bette to Oliver, I don’t know what was.

  24. As much as I love both Sting and Bette Midler, if I were backstage and saw you I would have been saying, “Oh My God! Kay Gardiner! Wait, here’s my knitting bag, please sign my book!”
    You think I’m kidding.

  25. Oh, yeah? I went backstage at a Tesla show.

  26. Smell of Notices of Depositions in the morning? Yeah, that really gets MY juices flowing, too. LOL
    I’m toodling off to make my donation, but you don’t need to put me in the drawing. However, please come by my blog tomorrow and see what I got cookin’, k? It’s wicked exciting.

  27. Anyone else wear their Lanz nightgowns backwards, with the short run of buttons in the front?
    Thanks for a huge laugh today, Kay – I had completely forgotten about Jane Fonda at college. There may have been a teal and grey striped leotard involved. (By the way, I don’t remember seeing Ann there ever….)

  28. thanks for the bette clip– i remember when i was about 12 my parents let me stay up to watch it when it aired the first time. my friend and i loved that song– we used to act it out in her bedroom! anyway, when it came on my mom told me i should call my friend up (at you know, about 11:25pm) and tell her to “turn on the TV!!” so i did, and i woke my friend’s mother up. i’m so darn excited because i *heart* Bette Midler, but her mother squashes the whole thing by announcing that it is far too late to be calling, that her daughter is asleep, and that she was not allowed to watch Letterman. when i told my mother all of that, she just laughed and said, “oh, she probably thinks i’m a horrible mother.” and we enjoyed the rest of the performance. funny, how seeing the youtube clip brought of all that back in an instant!

  29. I’ve had the hugest crush on Stewart Copeland for over 25 years! He’s one of the reasons I’m a [wannabe] drummer.

  30. It’s been said before, but it bears repeating:
    OMG YOU TOUCHED STING.
    *faints*

  31. Hee! You shook hands with HIM!! A looong time ago, one of my friends was visiting fambly in the Greecian isles, and while innocently walking by the docks on one of those gorgeous islands, practically bumped into Sean Connery. He was gracious, (as well as very tan, handsome and in shorts) set her on her feet and shook her hand before ambling away. When she got back home – we all took turns shaking the hand that shook his hand!!!! I may have to show up in your town just to have the same opportunity to shake your hand too!!! what fun! You’re too Cool!!!

  32. why does the Bette Midler clip want me to go find a synchronized swimming team to go join?

  33. Little late to the party, I know. As I scrolled down, reading your post, I saw the picture from the concert, and before I could read what the text below the picture, I thought to myself, “That kinda looks like The Police concert I went to.” Lo and behold, it was them! I saw them in St. Louis. Drove 5 hours to get there. Totally worth it. I’m going to forget that you touched Sting, for I may just go blind with envy if I think about it too long.

  34. I can’t be the only one who still wears Lanz nightgowns (backwards). I am so embarrassed and self-conscious now. Give Ivan a big hello and hug for me!

  35. Hubby went to see the Police? What about the Turtles?
    I. Cannot. Believe. It.
    (Little Einstein reference)

  36. dear kay. this is why i love both of you so!!! xoxo hugs,