Is Starshower the new Honey Cowl? Only time will tell (but it looks good).

Craigslist Beijing

For sale
Sat Aug 9
500′ x 70′ LED screen. Used once. WORLD’S BIGGEST! ROLLS GREAT —>
4,006 GIANT DRUMSTICKS THAT LIGHT UP (sorry, 10 got lost in the crowd)
2,008 ancient-type Chinese drums. Wheels! Superloud. Will swap for good hearing aid.
1 150′ tall expandable globe. Can hold two pop stars on top. WIRED FOR SOUND. Let’s trade . . .
600 PADDLES. Makes picture of Chinese boats when held together. Great for home dec or giant rowboat owner.
JUMPSUITS JUMPSUITS JUMPSUITS. 1,500 lime green, wired to light up orange AND white. Sweet!
64 women’s dresses, red splotchy flowers. Made in Hungary.
238 women’s blazers, red, barely worn! Made in Spain.
142 fedoras, some dented. Made in China but worn by Polish team.
1 red blazer, size ginormous. Could use as tent. yaoming@chineseolympicteam.org.
213 orange ties. Really orange, actually. Quite orange. Made in the Netherlands.
312 “gallic” red sashes. Tres tres Francais! That’s what we THOUGHT. Look like obi sashes, but didn’t realize that until we got to the stadium and saw those Japanese people.
1 Tuvalu ceremonial costume. I wore this at the opening ceremonies and wish I hadn’t. HELP A GUY.
2,008 cheerleader uniforms. Need cleaning but water-bottle holsters are MINT>>>>>>
Purple silk dress NOT A NIGHTGOWN. email mvieira@nbc.com
2,008 umbrellas with kid faces. Used once! TO SELL AS ONE LOT ONLY.
Olympic ring wall hanging. 300,000 lights, six burned out. Good for Christmas dec. Or opening ceremony.
Crazy rubber swimsuit. Don’t need it. Kicking @$$ without it. mphelps@teamusa.org.

58 Comments

58 Comments

  1. Love the list – I have been watching swimming, rowing, biking, volleyball and badminton all day. The opening last night was beyond awesome….
    and, I’ve been knitting!!

  2. AWESOME list! :o) I got Zero knitting done during the opening ceremonies last night: it was too fascinating! I did get a few rows done, but looking at them this morning I realized I had made a major mistake. Is there a medal for ripping Olympic knitting? Oh my. Hoping to do better tonight! –Sydney

  3. *snigger* Of course, I’m missing it all. I could probably get NBC well enough if I took the time to unhook the VCR and hook up the rabbit ears and fiddle with them, but it sounds like they talked over the ceremonies even more than they did for Athens. Considering how badly I wanted to strangle Bob Costas and Katie Couric then, it’s probably for the best I didn’t see it.

  4. you kill me. But I have been glued to it all day. Go US women’s fencing team with the sweep.

  5. HI-sterical! Can we expect this sort of coverage everyday? If so, I’m-a tunin’ in!

  6. Fabulous! I have to say, the person who designed the French team’s outfits knew the importance of a belt that really makes a statement.

  7. “Red splodgy dresses”, looked truly awful (they seem to be missing bullet holes).

  8. LOVE the list! Thanks for the giggles!

  9. this is my favorite blog post all week. i especially love the purple silk dress not nightgown “listing”

  10. Just too funny!
    My husband commented during the opening ceremonies, “I bet we see a lot of those drums on eBay tomorrow.” You took it to a whole new level. :-)

  11. Geez, I wish there was a number for that purple silk dress, I bet I could modify it to be wearable for SCA…
    The Olympic ring wall hanging would look mighty fine on the balcony, too. Probably piss off a few neighhbors, though.
    Great list! It made me giggle!

  12. Tee! Love it!

  13. Loved the list. I do have to say those Hungarian dresses were something else. However, what else they were, I’m not sure! lol

  14. Loved the list. I do have to say those Hungarian dresses were something else. However, what else they were, I’m not sure! lol

  15. love (1)
    funny (1)

  16. This is great! I’ve been knitting up a storm and routing the Japanese (ahem) and the Americans on great guns. No cable means tons of swimming and gymnastics, which is aOK by me!
    The light up jumpsuits made me think of strange demonic frogs.

  17. Soooooooooooo funny! (and yet accurate!) Ain’t that always the way – it’s funny because it’s so true!

  18. What about the black jumpsuits that didn’t get worn? But I also thought that they had 2008 of the green guys?

  19. How about the Polish ladies? I was about to say something to my husband about how nice the dresses were, when A. VERY. LARGE. WOMAN. came out in one. WHOA! She wasn’t heavy… She was a Clydesdale!

  20. Ok, that is the funniest thing I have read in a loooong time!
    I was thinking about the excesses last night as I started my Afghan sweater!
    Go Team AfghansforAfghans!

  21. This is hilarious! Started the olympic knitting last night and kept getting distracted by the awesomeness of the ceremony. Crazy!
    By the way, my husband always measures my knitting with a dollar bill when we’re on holiday and I forget the ruler. He’s crafty/geeky that way. Not that I couldn’t do it myself, but it’s so FUN to make him do it!

  22. I love it! And I’m not the only one who thought Meredith hadn’t had time to get dressed Friday morning! ;-)

  23. Gosh, you are so darn quick.

  24. “Who won gold in the fashion Olympics? Say what you will about the opening ceremony, but the parade of nations that followed made the Chinese, in their elaborate historical costume, look like an army of supermodels …. Elsewhere, a predictable amount of tracksuits were on display in equally unpleasant hues, although at least they made some kind of functional sense. Then, of course the clever teams were the ones that had the savvy to stick to national dress: Cameroon’s was the coolest, with brilliant hats, although there’s no doubting that, in their mirrored, waistcoats the Afghans echoed the east-meets-west aesthetic beloved of fashion icon Hamid Karzai to perfection.”
    — Susannah Frankel of CNN 8/8/08

  25. Oh my gosh. Hilarious. I, too, kept thinking “Why are the French wearing Obi sashes?” But what a ceremony, eh?

  26. Note to Coleen…..
    Of COURSE there were 2008 of those lime green suits that light up – I suspect that the reason Ann is only listing 1500 of them is that she has already bought up a substantial number of them for herself and all her fambly and friends – just imagine what Christmas is going to look like in their house this year!!!!!!!!

  27. Love the post-did you see Wednesday’s Project Runway?
    the challenge was to design an outfit for the women of the
    US Olympic team.
    Jane

  28. Delightful reading, thank you!

  29. LOL!
    How do you think of these things?!?

  30. I dugg your post. Digged? Whatever.
    Best,
    Wes

  31. WAHOO!! I’m with ya…I came home from work tonight and sat down to watch my taped olympics footage…and darn it if mister phelps wasn’t winning his first gold of this competition! I love this olympics stuff…it’s awesomeness.

  32. i turn the sound down
    when they explain about
    every thing just every thing
    posting is fun really is

  33. Not to quibble re: the So-Not-Playing-From-A-Distance aspect of the Hungarian red splotchy dresses…but I bet those red flowers were meant to be poppies. And as even the most rudimentary athlete testing catches you out when you’ve been indulging in just a few too many poppyseed-filled pastries (that’d be ONE), they put the favorite on the clothes.
    At least it wasn’t goulash.

  34. Too funny and those Hungarian dresses were tooooooo ugly! Poor things, the good news was they were so happy to be there they seemed oblivious to how ugly the dresses were.

  35. Thank you for the laugh out riot! Though note to self, DO NOT drink coffee will reading Ann & Kaye.

  36. Too funny! Especially loved the “crazy rubber swimsuit” bit.

  37. Too funny! Especially loved the “crazy rubber swimsuit” bit.

  38. I had to drag my laptop over to my husband–and then explain craigslist to him. But, seriously, hilarious.
    I swear next year they need Tim Gunn and Mo Rocca to do commentary as the countries are parading in.
    We had a little caulking done yesterday and the worker said, “China looked like ketchup and mustard to me!” Now that he mentions it, they did.
    And, I know you saw the Phelps gold medal ceremony–in a country of a gazillion people who can pull off that opening ceremony with nary a problem, you think they could find and finish the national anthem? Something tells me there is a downloadable version somewhere.
    On to cranking out my second sock in two days…

  39. Oh, those Hungarian dresses. I would love to have heard the athletes reactions when they were first presented. W looked bored and crabby.

  40. Oh, those Hungarian dresses. I would love to have heard the athletes reactions when they were first presented. W looked bored and crabby.

  41. Oh, those Hungarian dresses. I would love to have heard the athletes reactions when they were first presented. W looked bored and crabby. I guess he was kept up past his bedtime without enough adulation and attention.

  42. Uniformity. Conformity. Precision. It was oddly chilling to see hundreds…thousands of uniformed Chinese moving in exact increments.
    Is it just me or did thoughts of human oppression skirt anyone else’s thoughts during the opening ceremony?

  43. Too funny!

  44. Seconding Pooch’s comment: How about the part where the athletes handed off the flag to the goose-stepping soldiers? Welcome to the land of the Olympic Dream and compulsory happy smiles on the spectators!
    Just hoping that some sense of the difference between the free and oppressed comes out of these games, and that there will be many moments that do live up to the ideals of the Olympic movement.

  45. Again – this is why you ladies rock.
    Maybe you two and Ree from Pioneerwoman.com can get together and be part of Obama’s cabinet?!
    PULEASE!
    Make knitting and home cooked meals a national pastime again..Oh. Well…Something else then. Since you both have helped with the knitting..Maybe National Charity Knittin’!!!!
    Yes. Please get in the cabinet!!

  46. Ellen: You’d look a little crabby, too, if one of your allies was being invaded… ;)
    Am I the only person who ignored Hungary’s dresses in favor of those adorable little cloches they were wearing?

  47. That’s fantastic! Funniest thing I’ve seen all night – nearly makes up for the being stuck in an airport waiting for a many-hours-delayed flight and hoping I get home before I have to go to work.

  48. You *do* know that orange is our (I’m Dutch) national/royal color, right? If it wasn’t the ties, it would have been the suits themselves… I thought it looked quite nice this way – makes the gray less boring.
    Also, I quite liked the Hungarian dresses – but then I like the country itself. :) Maybe it depends on whether they’re shown from a distance or not?

  49. love (2)
    funny (2)

  50. Howling….I think I want the ginormous red blazer. My kids could use it as a parachute off the deck. This is too funny.

  51. OMG – what a scream!

  52. I am WEEPING with laughter ovah heah.

  53. Love the list – when I saw the lit Olympic rings, my first thought was that there won’t be any Christmas lights in the stores this winter.

  54. What a fabulous post! You are too funny.

  55. Funniest.post.ever. Still chuckling over France and Meredith!

  56. Thanks for the giggle. You so very aptly hit the nail on the head!
    I’m having an olympics hangover today. I watched events until the wee hours of both Sunday and Monday morning!

  57. Funny post, but also brought back the ceremonies in a very real way. Cultural context is so important – where some saw human oppression, I could see devotion to the whole. Different sides of a coin.

  58. Huzzah! I taped it and watched it too…and I have to say, the thought of their performance being done out of love didn’t occur to me; I was thinking “opression” too, but we COULD be wrong….the thought that occurred to me was, “It would take a country with a population of bazillions to field SEVERAL groups of 2008 people each, in which **EVERYONE IS THE SAME HEIGHT**!! Anyone else find that bizarre? The most spectacular, I thought, was the “block of print cubes”. When the end was revealed I have to admit, I was literally flabbergasted. But I was wishing at the end the Chinese host would approach the microphone and say “Oh, and by the way – we’re freeing Tibet so they can participate in the Olympics from now on.” (Can you tell I write kiddy fairy tales?)