For the look of Relax in a worsted weight yarn, take a look at Worsted Boxy.

Flower Arrangements

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Dear Kay,
I know this is supposed to be our happy place, and it pretty much is except when the server locks up or we lose a battery charger. But ever since I got back from New York last Thursday, I have sat in front of this computer, waiting for something to occur to me. Nothing happy is bubbling up, you know? I’m feeling as soggy and low as a cardigan soaking in the sink.
Not so easy. I’ve not-written so much in the past days, I’m just telling you. So productively unproductive! Usually, I would take my inability to find words as a clue that I shouldn’t be blogging. Remember our rule? “Under no circumstances can the blog contain the sentence, ‘I haven’t been knitting much, but . . .’ ” It’s a knitting blog! If you’re not knitting, don’t be blogging about your not-knitting. Just wait until you start knitting again, then blog about THAT.
But I can’t not-write anymore, you know? I have in fact been knitting, and after almost six years of keeping this blog with you, it is absolutely a habit to take a picture of whatever I’m making so I can show you. You are such a HABIT!
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The flight attendants all liked it, just so you’ll know. They’re always so supportive, the flight attendants. “WOW! That is BEEYOOTEEFUL–watch your knee!”
I carry around a lot of vivid memories from last week. Last Wednesday morning, I was in the Whole Foods on Columbus Circle as you and I have been on occasion, watching all the good people of New York figure out what scone they were going to take back to their offices with them. The woman in front of me was extraordinarily polite to the coffee lady. I thought: what lovely manners she has. She had some kind of orange cranberry scone, and that seemed like a good idea to me, so I went with that.
I sat down in the scone eater’s holding pen and watched the flower lady do a little magic with the bundles of flowers that customers would slide to her across the counter. She would unwrap each cone, shuffle together the tulips and the Peruvian liles and the roses, and she would tie it all up with a bit of raffia and a piece of bright tissue, a clear sheet of plastic inside so that the paper wouldn’t get wet. Each customer–and she had a steady stream of them–left with a bouquet that was so charming. All those common grocery store flowers, transformed.
On that morning, the smile that woman gave to those people–a quick nod and a flash of something kind–stayed with me. I keep thinking about those flowers, and that flower lady. She’s doing what we all wish so powerfully that we could do for you, Kay: to fix it all up nicer.
Speaking of fixing it all up, I am amazed at the blankets and socks and sweaters that will be coming together for Afghans for Afghans. All that visible love and energy in there.
Love,
Ann

91 Comments

91 Comments

  1. Sigh, we would all like to “fix things up nicer”. I like to think that our knitting does that.

  2. Ann, that was a really lovely post. I’m thinking of Kay, too. She is very lucky to have you as a friend.

  3. The future is a kinder place if you have a friend waiting. I raise my needles to you both, the many entries you’ve both written and the many words ahead.

  4. That’s lovely knitting and a lovely post – I hope both will surround Kay with love and affection.

  5. Dear Ann – Thank you so much for writing us after such a sad and difficult week. I kept checking the blog daily, and it was heart breaking to see your message to us from April 20th. I am emailing from Athens, GA and as many of you know we have had our own tragedy here recently that’s been much in the news. Love from friends will help with the healing, and for myself and others, knitting plays a part in that.

  6. Sometimes in times of sadness the only comfort is in knowing that you are not alone and that others are wishing to ease the pain for you. Friends can’t take it away, but their presence can help carry the burden. That was a lovely message, Ann, as it so showed how Kay is not isolated in her sadness.

  7. A beautul piece of blogging, Ann, it must have been difficult for you to know what to write….

  8. Sometimes in times of sadness the only comfort is in knowing that you are not alone and that others are wishing to ease the pain for you. Friends can’t take it away, but their presence can help carry the burden. That was a lovely message, Ann, as it so showed how Kay is not isolated in her sadness.

  9. Thanks Ann, for saying it for us, so well.

  10. Ann, I love your writing. So funny and poignant and thoughtful and sweet all at the same time. Like Bailey White, only better, and with knitting. :)
    Thanks to you and Kay both for sharing so much with all of us through your books and blog.

  11. My heart is full with your words. Thank you Having also suffered a great loss last week your post was a great reminder of how precious every interaction can be.

  12. Ann
    Thank you so much for writing that. It was lovely.
    This is my first time commenting on your wonderful blog although I have followed you for some time now.
    It is indeed a sad time when someone dies so suddenly leaving people confused and grieving. This is the third instance of this that has touched my life in as many months and it is painful watching the pain with those who were closest.
    You and Kay are both in my thoughts right now.

  13. Thank you, Ann, for your wonderful words. Oh, to be able to wrap Kay, and any other person who might need it, in cotton (or cashmere) in an effort to ‘fit it all up nicer’.

  14. It would be great to be the person who “fixes things up nicer.” I think that should be one of those superpowers.
    I think you might have this power!
    I am still praying for Kay and for you and marveling at your ability to write with such grace, comfort, and dignity. (Other good super powers to have, too!)

  15. What a beautiful post! It expresses exactly what we are all feeling. Hugs to Kay and family!

  16. Thanks for writing Ann. I have been thinking of Kay every day. It just stunned me to hear of her loss. It took me off my track, you know? In the same week I found Matt Logelin’s blog and Heather Spohr’s and my heart just broke over and over again.
    Love is such a complete feeling, it fills you up and over. When you’re filled with love till bursting and then that person is gone…well I just feel terrible thinking about it.
    Thank you for posting, and for your wonderful metaphor. We do just want to fix it up nicer and I’m so glad Kay has you as a friend.

  17. Hi Ann, In the midst of thinking about Kay, I have been thinking of you. How hard it is to see someone we love suffer. you are a good friend. Love, Larissa

  18. Made me cry again. How powerful the written word. Thank you.

  19. The internet is a weird and wonderful place. I have not stopped thinking of Kay since your previous post Ann, and feeling so sad for her and for you, her dear friend. You don’t even know me, I’m a quiet but loyal reader of your blog, but I feel as if I know YOU and Kay. It makes the world a smaller and more manageable place to know this, even in the midst of great sorrow. You’re a great writer in addition to being a kick-ass knitter. Thanks for summing up feelings for a grieving friend so adeptly.

  20. you are a beeyooteeful friend.
    what a way with words….

  21. In times like this there is grace in the ordinary, is there not?
    Much love to you and your families.

  22. Pretty, pretty knitting and beautiful thoughts.
    Love to both of you :0)x

  23. I also have to say that since I didn’t know Peter (and barely REALLY know you and Kay but after years of reading this feel like I do), the tributes in the Times last week were also telling about what a great and giving person he was. And while it won’t really ease the pain right now, his legacy will live on through his family and I think eventually that will help a bit.

  24. What a lovely post. You said exactly what we are all thinking.

  25. Thanks so much for writing, Ann, and for saying what we’re all thinking so exactly. It’s so difficult to know what to say sometimes, but I’m slowly growing into the belief that it’s still important to say something, and you did it so very well.

  26. Thank you so much for posting, Ann, and for saying what we’re all thinking so exactly. It’s hard to know what to say, but I’m coming to the realization that it’s still important to try, and your writing helps. Kay, I know you know this, but we’re all holding you in our thoughts.

  27. To have a friend like you..

  28. A friendship made in heaven is so much better when it is expressed on Earth, transforming the ordinary into the blessed. Such sisters as you two are will continue to smile each time a thought of the other is found in mind but it is in yor hearts that this connection so shines to all your readers. May the expression of hearts from far and near bring both of you moments when you smile.

  29. I’m crying again.
    Thank you, Ann, for your beautiful words, exactly right.
    And Kay?
    ((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))

  30. (crying) oh man…when you were talking about that smile….yes. We would all love to fix it up nicer for you, Kay. There are scores of us thinking of you. Some day soon I hope you will be in a place where you are able to read all the comments and the ravelry posts and you will be knocked over by all the love and warmth and hugs emanating from them.
    Thank you Ann for knitting on.

  31. Tears flowing here, too. You’re so right, Ann. It’s what we all wish we could do for Kay. Fix it all up. My heart aches for her. Your words were perfect. I’m glad she has you for a friend.

  32. Glad that you are back – the scarf is beautiful – it is like sending a hug to someone – you know – kind of like fixing it up nicer. Thoughts and prayers to Kay and her family…

  33. Thank you, Ann for sharing your comforting thoughts.
    I’m grateful to be part of such a warm and caring community. You and Kay are in my thought and prayers.

  34. Thank you for checking in with us. We are all thinking of you both. I will repeat what others have said about how beautifully you wrote about the ordinary things. It was like a poem. xo

  35. Thanks.
    Glad you are back Ann.
    To see some knitting, relieves me in a way I cannot explain.
    You are a good friend to all of us. Especially to Kay.
    Thinking of you both, of course.
    Knitting squares to send to the sew up in Manhattan, too.
    xo
    Robin

  36. Perfectly put.

  37. Despite the limited references to yarn or needles, you did blog about knitting. Look at the definition of “knit” in the Merriam Webster dictionary:
    Main Entry: knit
    Pronunciation: \ˈnit\
    Function: verb
    transitive verb
    a: to link firmly or closely
    b: to cause to grow together
    Your blog entry, which so beautifully expresses what the readers of this blog feel and want to express to Kay, links us all firmly and closely together. Right now, I can’t think of a better way to knit.

  38. Ann, you write beautifully, and those are beautiful thoughts. Thinking of you all…

  39. Ann –
    Thank you for writing in such a comforting thoughtful way. You cheer not just Kay, but us all…
    Rose

  40. Thank you, Ann

  41. ann….thank you for checking in with “us.” along with your soft and drape-y therapy knitting…to help ease the weight of our heavy hearts. such a lovely team you and kay make…creative sisters, really. we are all holding hands together….

  42. Kay I have thought of you each day. And Ann I am so comforted that Kay has a friend like you. You feel like my friend too which is so odd since we have never met but your words have soothed and cheered me just because they are anchored to your soothing spirit. Thank you.

  43. Thanks, Ann, for today’s post. We needed to hear from you, and you had exactly the right words. You and Kay are very much loved.

  44. “She’s doing what we all wish so powerfully that we could do for you, Kay: to fix it all up nicer.”
    Just what I wish too.
    Made me teary eyed thinking of it. For Kay, of course, but sometimes I feel that way about other hurts in our lives and the world too.
    Amy

  45. Dear Kay:
    I am thinking of you every day. I hope little bits of peace will find you.
    Virginia

  46. Thank you for writing Ann,I too, feel like I know both of you.So I haven’t had either of you out of my thoughts all week. It made me stop and smell the roses, be thankful I had a husband to pick up socks off the floor for,you know what I mean. I can only imagine what Kay must be going through, but I do know she’s got a lovely friend in you, and a lot of other ‘cyber'(for lack of a better term) friends here. You both are still in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks again for checking in, Wendy

  47. Thanks Ann. Kay and her family (and you and yours) are in our thoughts and prayers. Knitting on helps — but somehow not enough at a time like this. Many Afghans will know the warmth of Peter’s spirit.

  48. Thank you Ann. I have been so sad whenever I think of Kay and her family.
    I wish I could bundle up tons of flowers and bring them to Kay, but I know she doesn’t know me and that it would just be overwhelming. it’s times like these when you just want to DO something to take away all of the pain.

  49. Thank you Ann. I just knew you were with Kay, and I am glad that you found a bit of time to come and talk to us. You both are in my thoughts.

  50. Thank you, Ann, for your beautiful, beautiful post.

  51. Amen. Those have been my thoughts exactly. So much not-written but felt whole-heartedly as someone with no real connection except reading this blog and commenting occasionally. My thoughts and prayers continue to be with Kay.

  52. Amen.

  53. Amen.

  54. Amen.

  55. I’ve been holding my breath, checking in daily (multiple times, daily, to be honest) hoping to see a new post. Worrying about you both, and knowing that this kind of hurt goes deep and the bruised feeling just never goes away. I’ve learned that there are never the right words. But Ann, you said so much, so tenderly. For all of us. I hope Kay feels even just a tiny bit of the care I send her way.

  56. Ann, you said it just right. Think of you all.

  57. Perfectly said Ann, thank you.

  58. Right-o Miss Ann. TY.

  59. Nicely done, Ann. I would love to fix it all up nicer. And while my thoughts have been of Kay and the kids, I have also thought of you. Losing a friend, seeing a friend suffer…that is tough stuff.
    I’m holding Kay…and you too…in my thoughts and prayers.

  60. Class. Pure class.

  61. Friendship is one of our greatest gifts, and you are a totally awesome friend.
    Sorry didn’t meant to go all CA on you :)

  62. Making the world a more beautiful place. It doesn’t matter if it’s flowers or shawls or a garden or a smile.
    I’ve got some grocery store flowers in front of me now (in the room with the wall o’ yarn) and they made a lot of things better.

  63. Thank you.
    And I’m still searching for those words that fix it up all nicer, it’s true.

  64. What a gorgeous post. I love you both.

  65. I will confess that I have been doing the same thing lately, just noticing that I am checking frequently to see if there is a new post that will let me know that you both are able to come up for air once in a while.
    I appreciated the effort and thought that you took to sift around for an image that would be of use. Writing is a bit like knitting in that you start from the tiniest most amorphous things and link them together to create something new and concrete.
    The time spent looking at the keyboard, really looking at the inside of your brain, is creative time. Just because it doesn’t feel good or easy does not detract from the creativity.
    I hope you both can keep on putting one foot in front of the other, doing the best you can for each other….

  66. such a good friend you are. to Ann, and to us, to think of what to say…

  67. Thank you, Ann, for posting today. I keep checking, but every time, I wonder what I expected to find. Entering back into the world after a tragedy feels so wrong – it’s like you’re trying to deny what has happened. But life does go on (trite, I know) and your post today is the sort of connection we all needed.

  68. Ann – understandable to be verklempt and fatutzed now. But so good to hear from you.
    Flying to Flahrida last year, the flight attendants asked “what are you knitting?” I replied “a bustier.” Big response!

  69. Love and kindness in boatloads.

  70. Very sweet post Ann. I wanted to tell you that I’ve been knitting up lots of little socks from my leftover bin of sock yarns and have about 8 pairs done so far. They will all go to Afghans for Afghans. I’ve been thinking a lot about Peter and Kay as I knit. Thanks for checking in even when you don’t feel so much like writing.

  71. Note to self:If ever I have the chance to meet the Mason-Dixon gals, hug Ann for saying exactly what all our hearts are feeling, and hug Kay twice ‘cuz we miss her and and an extra hug is good to have on hand.
    Ann, there is something about the way you fine ladies communicate with each other and the rest of us out here in the vapor that makes it seem like we’ve gotten the update from the local hometown paper’s social column. I look forward to when your blog-mate is back with us but I also give you much love for bearing the news and keeping a sense of “nicer” afloat. What lovely manners you have!
    xoxox
    Jodie from Fargo, ND

  72. dear ann thank you
    you and kay over the past years
    have brung us up -i am thankful
    to you both
    for goodness sake i hope we
    all dont come down with the flu

  73. Ann,
    This was simply a beautiful post. I hope to carry the love it exemplifies with me all day. Know that all of the M&D family are held in my heart,
    xoxo,
    WMK

  74. Ann, I am glad that you posted this. It is how I feel, wanting to make things nice and knowing it isn’t realistic. I’m glad Kay has you as a friend and we have you to help us all through this. Thank you.

  75. Beautiful comments Ann, and your knitting is beautiful too. I’m praying for Kay and her family and you too.

  76. What a beautiful sentiment. You’re such a thoughtful, lovely writer. Thank You.

  77. Ann, you can’t possibly have expressed the way we are all feeling in a more tender and lovely way. Sending continued wishes for comfort and kindness to Kay and her family, and thanks to you for the sweet expression of our concern.

  78. Dear Anne & Kay,
    I have followed your blog for 3 years now (I think) wow, time has flown hasn’t it. It’s odd in a way, I feel like I know you both personally, even though we have never met. I opened up my computer yesterday and went straight to your blog and I was stunned. My heart aches for you Kay. I spent all last night thinking of what to write to you…and also you Anne as you have suffered a loss and you also are feeling a great deal of pain. I am also sure your heart aches for your friend and her family. When I came online today, I still couldn’t think of anything to write to you both that would ease your pain, so I figured write something from my heart, that is what you both would do….You are all in my thoughts and my prayers and you will all continue to be through these very dificult times ahead. I do want you to know something….I was just recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and I must be honest, I have been feeling depressed and sorry for myself up until last night, I realized this is just a small bump in the road, I should stand up and brush myself off and fight….I see that others have suffered much more then I have and I really have no right to feel sorry for myself. I see what you are going through and I realized how lucky I actually am…..because of you, I am now facing this bump in the road head on. I will always be greatful to you for sharing you heartache, if not for that….well, I am sure I need not say anything more.
    May comfort and peace wrap you both in love.

  79. I too have been hitting that refresh button daily to see if there was a bit of something here. Lovely piece reminding us that we all have the ability to fix things up nicer for someone each day. Pretty knitting too. I am also knitting something for someone that will unfortunately soon be in need of a hug when I can’t be there. We all do what we can.

  80. Thank you for re-connecting with us, Ann. Your words and pictures are beautiful, as always. We thank you and Kay for sharing part of your lives with us.
    Laura

  81. I’ve always been a dabbler/dilletante. And if you are disiplined enough that this is ONLY a knitting blog, I completely recommend starting a random, non-knitting blog where you can yell, screme, wax eloquent about the non-knitting related events of your world.
    Although I’m really glad you gave us a glimpse of the flowers, scones and civility that brightened your day.

  82. If you’re lost, you can look and you will find me
    Time after time
    If you fall, I will catch you, I’ll be waiting
    Time after time
    –Cyndi Lauper, R. Hyman
    (yesterday’s entry inspired the memory of this song…)
    …………………………………………..
    Tulips…………perfect love
    Peruvian Lilies…friendship and devotion
    Roses………….love, friendship, courage
    –The language of flowers: the language of a friendship.
    Ann, you said it all so sweetly. Hugs to you, and to Kay.
    LoveDiane

  83. Ann, You did very well indeed. Kay, We miss you.
    Love

  84. Anne,
    Love-filled post. It made me cry. You are a the kind of friend we can all only hope to have.

  85. Poem for a friend
    from Kathy Galloway:
    Do not retreat into
    your private world,
    There are more ways
    than firesides to keep warm;
    There is no shelter from
    the rage of life, So meet its eye,
    & dance within the storm
    Trouble is part of your life, and if you don’t share it, you don’t give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough. (Dinah Shore)
    They were words of wisdom for me. Hard to hear, and even harder to live. We’re still here when you need us. And you are surrounded by very lovely people there who have very nice smiles and seem to have good hugs as well.
    Thanks Ann for showing us what a friend is with compassion and sweetness and just the right timing as you ever do.
    MST

  86. Perfect, Ann, thank you. I am one of the many who have been checking every day, expecting I don’t know what – and what I found today was perfect. It would be so nice if we could just “kiss it and make it all better”. Thank you for recognizing the kindness and sweetness around you in the midst of your pain and for sharing it with us.
    (Just wish I could knit for A4A but … living in Bangkok makes that a tad difficult.)
    Riki in Bangkok

  87. Several years ago a close friend of mine lost her oldest son very suddenly. It was so hard to see the pain that she carried in her eyes. Harder still was trying to find the words that might offer some comfort to her. Kay is so fortunate to have a friend who can express herself as beautifully as you did.

  88. I have been so sad for Kay and her family (and for both of you)….you are a wonderful open hearted true friend to Kay, and this post is pure love—I admire you so much for finding comforting words and sharing them with us….knitting has sustained me through many sad passings in my life…and I see it does you, also. My prayers are with you both— Kay and Ann.

  89. Lovely post. Thank you so much for being there for Kay, as we wish we all could. Your friendship is so remarkable, it sparkles.
    xoxoxo-
    KT

  90. It is a little overwhelming to think that this kind of loss goes on, all around us and sometimes to us, all the time. I wish I could fix it all up nicer.

  91. What a blessing it is that you are someone’s friend. thanks for reminding me about the simple beauties of our everyday experiences.