Need a holiday handknit? Time for a Schmatta!

Frappr Awards

Dear Ann,
Isn’t the Frappr map a hoot? It really is like an autograph book. Well, except nobody has written ‘Stay sweet’, or dotted their ‘i’ with a heart. Yet. (Note to everybody who signed my school autograph books and yearbooks, please be assured that I have stayed sweet, to the best of my ability. For a New Yorker, I am very sweet indeed, practically cloying in my superfluous pleases and thankyous.)
Anyway, the purpose of this post is to award the prizes I promised for Farthest Distance From New York and Nashville, and Best Performance by a Silly Picture on a Frappr Map. So before they start playing my theme song and usher me offstage, I’ll do that.
Distance Award: Susan, Hazel, and Debbie, Come On Down!
How about Middle Earth? Is that far enough for ya?
We have two winners in the Farthest Distance (International) category, both from New Zealand. Susan, from Wanaka, Otago and Hazel, from Auckland.
From New York to Auckland is 8819 miles. I don’t know how far it is from New York to Wanaka, Otago, New Zealand, but doesn’t it sound like it should be farther than Auckland?
I used a groovy distance calculator Google found for me. The only thing I did to check my work was to do the same distance search thingie on Guangzhou, China, which is only (only!) 8018 miles from New York City. It seems far when you’re flying it, but it’s a mere 8 thousand and change.
The winner of the Farthest Distance (Domestic) prize is Debbie from Kaneohe, HI. I took the extra precaution, in this case, of measuring from both Nashville and New York. Hawaii is farther than Alaska from both. I shouldn’t have needed a distance calculator to tell me that, but I did. As the mother of Map Boy, I should be ashamed, but I’m not.
Legal Notice: If anybody thinks their pushpin is farther than 8819 miles from New York or Nashville, please take this matter up with your Frappr administrator (me) at your earliest convenience. We will give you a fair trial. Which means we will ask Map Boy.
The Oscar For Best Picture
It was so dumb of me to offer a prize for the best picture. How could I possibly decide? Who knew there were going to be so many fine entries, and in so many categories? We will run through the finalists.
Category: My Hair is Red
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Elabeth, Fort Smith, Arkansas
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Mary Neal, Chicago, IL
frapprkrissydneyaustralia.jpg
Kris, Sydney, Australia
Category:Me As a Kid
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Kathie, Mukwanago, Wisconsin
Category: Me As a Kid (With Weeble)
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Allison, Columbia, South Carolina (dual entry in Red Hair competition)
Category: Knitting Clergy
frappremilyokcityok.jpg
Emily, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Category: Pets With Human Facial Expressions
frapprkellymocincyoh.jpg
Kellymo, Cincinnati, Ohio (What does a dog have to do to get a treat around here?)
Category: If These Shoes Could Talk
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Bonne Marie, Chicago, Illinois
Category: Tattoo? I’ll Show Ya Tattoo!
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Cassie of Brooklyn, New York
Category: Motherhood, Auntiehood, Woman/Child Picturehood
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Anna, Finland
Category: Knitter In Natural Habitat
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Scotty Jill, Scotland, UK.
Category: Scary Portrayal of Multiple Handknits (Viking Chicken Hat)
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Vicki, Kaukauna, Wisconsin
Category: Total Fake
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Sue, Austin, Texas
Category: Look! Me With a Famous Knitter!
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Jessica, Seattle, Washington
Category: Watch and Learn: The Well-Behaved Husband
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Laura, Rochester, Minnesota
Category: I’m Not Really Dead
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Bookish, Wendy, Massachusetts
Category: I Made This For My Boy
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Moth Heaven Julia, Massachusetts
Category: Deeply Disturbing (But Next Year’s Halloween Costume)
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Libby, Coralville, Iowa
But hey, there has to be a Winner. It was really hard, but the Best Picture award goes to:
frapprclapotis
Melinda, in Augusta, Georgia. A picture that is both beautiful and funny, and strangely affecting, or at least it’s affecting if you’ve made a Clapotis.
So, would Susan, Hazel, Debbie and Melinda please email me at bigbonegalAThotmailDOTcom so I can send you your prize goodies?
Love, Kay
P.S. I’m sorry for the lack of links, but it’s Neil and Belinda’s last day so I have to do some urgent yarn shopping now.

18 Comments

18 Comments

  1. Gotta say, I’m really disappointed I didn’t win for best ass.

  2. And I’m disappointed I didn’t win for best picture of punting. Ah well…

  3. My yearbook is over HERE! Waiting for heart dots and “stay sweet”s.

  4. Hahaha. I’d have had to share the award with the knitter of that fine chicken hat — actually, as modeled, it’s a Cold Turkey (as in quitting smoking) hat — my fellow turkey, Ann/purlingswine.
    Damn, Cara was awfully satisified with her ass in that photo, too. Not many times will a woman say, ‘What do you think of my ass!’

  5. Great fun. All the pics,all the awards.
    Bet those Frappr boys are reeling from the knitter onslaught !

  6. Dude. I have red hair too! You just can’t see it under the trucker hat…. *sigh*

  7. Darn, I took out my best dog photo for a bad me photo . . . .but what a choice to have to make . . .

  8. Wasn’t that one from Sidney the grand prize winner for the knitty.com calendar?

  9. All those two have to do for a treat is have someone open the fridge door. We keep a BIG bag of baby carrots at all times. It is well known that those dogs eat more vegetables than their owners.

  10. Forget Darn! I am going with Damn! I can’t get my pics to load on Frappr! Not even my super hi-tech hubby with all those years coding can do it.
    I love the Frappr and it is great fun seeing everyone. I must rededicate myself to getting the photo up there. Maybe praying to the winning photo will help. *Sigh*

  11. What fun! I should quickly go think about which photo to use.

  12. Now, the Girl Scout uniform was indeed a Halloween costume. I swear. The beer was the hub’s idea. But disturbing… yes, you are probably right, but I had to earn that merit badge somehow.

  13. I can’t stop looking at the well-behaved husband. So strange and wild…so ….rare.

  14. Dearest Kay, OK, so I’ve been back to the Frappr map, and I am so relieved that I didn’t have to make a choice. I keep looking, and looking, and I keep chuckling. Everybody is just too beautiful, too weird, too funny, too heart-bustingly great.

  15. er, have your blog’s comments been acting up again? After all, there are only 14 remarks to this entry and I would have thought scads of readers would have had something to say to all these REALLY COOL PICTURES. So much fun this has been.
    MDK readers are remarkably photogenic, and not all that concerned about embarrassing themselves in public. Good qualities to have.

  16. Yay! I’m famous!! Thank you for including me in my “natural habitat” – I’d better not tell Mum about that – she already disapproves of nearly everything I do as it is!!!

  17. My husband is famous! And he doesn’t even know it (nor do I expect he cares). And, I, blogless knitter, have a mention on Mason Dixon Knitting. The excitement!

  18. If I weren’t so paranoid about people knowing where I am (it’s a small world up here…after all…) then I’d head over and leave some sort of “bff” or “kita!” to your virtual yearbook-ish autograph book. (best friends forever, keep in touch always…)