Need a holiday handknit? Time for a Schmatta!

Letter from the Castle

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TO OUR MOST NOBLE AND virtuous correspondent KAY,
Elizabeth her humble co-blogette wisheth perpetual felicity and everlasting joy.
We had a most trying evening.
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These ragamuffins appeared, one boldly claiming to be Slash, a member of the band Guns ‘n’ Roses. We pointed out that the Slash we admire so deeply is at least a foot taller, and still this one declared himself the one true Slash.
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We attended a function where our consort, Merle Hazard, performed droll songs of a financial nature. We do feel most tender toward our vagabond minstrel, though his belt buckle which we coveted most dearly was found to our dismay to be of paste. Otherwise, we would be wearing this buckle on this very day.
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This impertinent girl claimed to be the queen. She has been removed to the lowest depths of the Tower.
We suppose the evening was amusing to those who favor carnival atmosphere and tomfoolery.
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Tin Man with a cell phone. Think of all the trouble THAT bit of technology could have saved the guy.
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Many beasts were arrayed as fairies, ladybugs, bumblebees, and here, a chicken. Pitiable creatures. So put upon!
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Nostradamus predicted that we would die. Such a pall he cast. We had him removed to the second-lowest depths of the Tower.
A commoner clad as an inflated sumo wrestler had the gall to suggest that Her Majesty’s accent varied considerably, from Helen Mirren to Eliza Doolittle to Posh Spice. And others noted that Her Majesty became quite blotchy as the evening progressed. These people! They have no idea what we endure! Off with their heads, the lot of them!
Elizabeth R
From suburban Nashville, the first day of November
of the year of our Lord, 2007.

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41 Comments

41 Comments

  1. You look properly “unamused”. Terrific costumes on everyone!

  2. This gives new meaning to the phrase, “She who must be obeyed.”

  3. You look fantastic. I love the droll look on your face. You did however seem blotchy as the night went on.

  4. STOP IT YOU’RE SCARING ME!

  5. Fun!
    We had a inflated sumo wrestler at work. Only his frontal regions were separate inflatables and all the guys were patting his poofy butt. What’s with guys patting each others asses?

  6. And not for nothing but could you spare a link for poor Merle? Guy is trying to get his message OUT THERE.
    xo Kay

  7. I love the period correct van keys in her majesty’s left hand.
    And what is the other ruffian supposing to be?
    I love slash, so funny. Does your slash have and Volvo commercials in his future? :P

  8. Oh my gosh, you’re hilarious! Love it!

  9. Great costumes…does Mickey know his ears are missing? Thanks for the laughs!

  10. Surely you jest?
    I may have to copy that one given that I really am an Elizabeth R.

  11. I can’t thank you enough for this regal and hilarious post. Love the photos and the narration. I want that sumo wrestler costume. Your life is much more interesting than mine. Thanks for sharing it.

  12. What a wonderfully elaborate and accurate Elizabeth I costume. It even extends to the facial expression! No, she is definitely not amused — I would steer clear of Her Majesty if I were in Nashville.

  13. You are indeed one scary woman. That exact look appeared frequently on my teachers during the course of my school years. They were consistently the same ones who never quite caught on to my brand of humor. Go figure.

  14. awesome costumes!!

  15. Your higness, most amusing, most amusing.
    Thank you for sharing what had to be an entertaing evening!

  16. Fantastic! The best costume I saw last night was a friend dressed up as Carmen Miranda. Your Queen E is a close second.

  17. I just found your blog and have to tell you that this post was made of awesome!
    I just laughed so much my neighbor knocked on the door to ask if all was well.

  18. Nope, sorry. It’s Mary Stuart. I got proof: http://tudorhistory.org/people/maryQOS/maryQOSwindsor.jpg

  19. Last year I was Marie Antoinette. It’s hard to keep from getting a little blotchy.

  20. OK, I think you might have had a smidge too much fun this Halloween!
    (I wanted to costume, but the year of the wedding has left me with barely time to knit much less anything else.)

  21. How I shrieked!

  22. Being a monarch is *such* a burden, and yet you seem to manage it with such grace and poise.

  23. GREAT costume! What great hair!

  24. Your Majesty~~ your subject would like to pay tribute to you for offering such a large dose of bellylaughter (tinman–oy!). Regards ;-)

  25. Just as I was thinking–living in too serious for itself Washington DC–that no one had fun on Halloween anymore–your post!!! There is life!
    I read your blog every day. And did I mention that I don’t even knit?

  26. see the dish rag comments, yet I did not partake due the needth to sell cars it was after all the last day of the month for cars. I didn’t even knit at all..Christine

  27. You look positively green! Fabulous look, you should do it more often!! Thanks for the chuckle.
    Sara in AL

  28. *snerk* *persnuckle*
    And that’s not just my snotty cold talking, but true laughter. I love it.

  29. I saw a Captain Jack Straw walking down 9th Avenue on a cellphone. I didn’t hear if he said anything appropriate like “Ahoy, matey!” when he answered the call. (Love your costume, too.)

  30. Oh my stars! That was hysterical!

  31. dog as hen? is this a local thing? up here in the big apple, animal supporters would protest. clearly, folks are more laid back in nashville.

  32. I am stricken to fits of giggles at your Halloween pictures! Such commitment to your character! How long did you practice that expression in the mirror? How many pictures did you NOT include because you cracked up while taking them? They are hilarious! Your costume is amazing.
    And Slash for a Halloween costume? That is SO freaking cool! I’m impressed that he even knows who Slash is. You are obviously a very cool mom.

  33. Your Majesty –
    My commendations on such a fine job of taking what is usually such a perky costume: “princess/queen” and grimming it up appropriately for the holiday.
    Please accept my best wishes that your All Saints Day was as charming as your costume, and please ensure that your young ruffian companions are aware that one of Mr. Slash’s more recent projects with “Slash’s Snake Pit,” also an admirable musical ensemble.
    Humbly yours,
    Amber the Cake

  34. Oh my this made me laugh!!!

  35. Oh my goodness – the dog/chicken – I love it!
    So great to see both of you at Rhinebeck/Morehouse Store.
    I’m hoping to return next year!

  36. Too. Funny. Medieval Ann. The only thing funnier was you in Birch. Really!

  37. Oh my God, I know that dog! I am pretty sure that dog is Mr. Burns, who belongs to someone I know from Readerville.com. I’ve told Mr. Burn’s owner about the picture so that he can verify that that is indeed Mr. Burns.
    It’s an intersection of virtual life!
    Great costume on the Queen, too.

  38. This restores my faith in Halloweeny. Only on such a day could one find The Queen, The Tin Man (on a silver phone, no less!), rock and country western all at once. All sorts of history honored!
    Now I’ll wipe my laugh-y tears.

  39. Alas, Mr. Burn’s owner tells me that he is pretty sure that the dog above is not Mr. Burns.
    Though the chicken suit is identical.

  40. Your excellency, may I commend you on an erudite and wonderful description of the fete, and on providing the miniatures of the other characters who peopled your world. (Also, I SURE admire folks who have a decent appreciation for Halloween!)

  41. How does a queen answer a peasant’s question
    “paper or plastic?” ?