Is Starshower the new Honey Cowl? Only time will tell (but it looks good).

My Future as a Rockette

rockettes2.jpg
Dear Kay,
Gah, what a pair of whiners we are. You’d think we didn’t like to knit or something. Ech! Enough with the complaining–I mean, we’re the luckiest clams in the sea, hon, sitting here with our little weird knitting projects, with some of our faculties intact, you with that pedometer and me with the newfound exploration of Pilates.
Speaking of which, if anybody out there wants to laugh their asses off at their own incompetence, I’m here to tell you: Pilates provides the greatest absurdity-per-minute ratio of any exercise regime. It’s great–there’s this contraption–whoops, I meant THIS contraption. The teacher (in my case a beautiful young thing who was recently a Rockette–of course) asks you to hold a small ball under your back with a bouncy ring gizmo between your knees while sticking your hands in these trapezey pulley things while, at ALL TIMES, doing something she calls “belly deep.”
It’s so taxing that at one point I heard a small squeaking sound and realized that somehow, my brassiere was giving out. My foundation garment could not hack it, so imagine how the rest of me is doing.
I’ve Got a New Attitude
Thanks to everybody for the much-needed help on the Print o’ the Wave stole. Not so much thanking to smarty pants Kristy for pointing out that I had 43 repeats to go instead of 33. (Actually, Kristy is the opposite of mean, having set up a project to knit squares for a dear grandma who could use a blanket. Here’s her project, all you square knitters.)
The border continues in a head-down, get-through-the-sandstorm way. At this point I’ve abandoned hope that I’ll finish the Dakar Rally. I threw a belt on the Land Rover when the tiny ball of yarn rolled down a hill during David’s tennis practice, so now the slim remains of the yarn are sort of breaded with mulch flurf. Ah, whatever. I traded for a camel at the oasis, so I’m trying to be all Bedouin about the thing.
I cling to Laurie’s hope for a miracle that the yarn holds out. And I chant the words of Lorinda: “Knit fast, honey; then you’ll have enough yarn to finish.”
Love,
Ann
PS A Summons to Memphis! A road trip looms. I’m going to be talking at the Southern Festival of Books on Saturday, October 14, 1:30 pm. If you are a Memphonian, or a Little Rocker, or Germantownie, or Mississippian, or a knitter in search of a better way, come on. This will surely rank as the first knitting book ever to be included in the Southern Festival of Books. We knitters have a lot to prove to these philistines.

22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. Good luck with Print O’ The Wave. And I have one of those Pilate balls, and an Ab Lounger & let me tell ya, the kids are having BLAST playin with that thing & my cat loves the lounger – he’s got the trimmest tummy you’d ever want to see, so they DO work!

  2. Pilates. Yeah, that belly deep thing. The abnormally flexible teacher called it something else; I think it was contracting the core muscle or something. I was totally unable to figure it out. And I used to be a ballet dancer…let’s knit instead!

  3. okay, enough with the southern book appearances. when, oh, when will you be in new england? or did i already miss it?

  4. I’d always heard them called “Memphodites”

  5. As a regular reader, and Pilates Instructor, I say take heart. And reward yourself with silk yarn!
    Usually around the 3rd session it starts making sense. I ask everyone to try atleast 3 times. Kind of like Kitchner.
    Enjoy!

  6. Pilates with a Rocket?! I think I would have to swear a lot during that workout just so I could feel all tough and such like.
    Hope you have a great time at the book festival.
    Good luck with the Print ‘O the Wave stole.

  7. FYI, It’s actually Memphian.

  8. As long as Elaine is making a shout out on behalf of your New England following, I would like to put in a call for a visit to the west coast. Surely Kay needs to make another visit to the fainting goats!!
    Plus, in California, our knitting is often accompanied by wine!
    I think the karma got me for pointing out your 10 extra rows: yesterday I had to rip out half of a scarf…granted it is just a scarf but really, I had to do all that unknitting.

  9. Oh, Ann, I know the pain of which you speak. I just got home from my pilates session. My butt is so sore it didn’t want to sit in the car. My abs, which have never been tested in their whole 50+ years are screaming at my 24/7. Check out the equipment I use and see if it looks similar to yours.
    http://www.redandpurplehaze.blog-city.com/new_workout_routine__workout_or_contortionist.htm
    By the way, the tight abs you see in the upper left hand corner of my entry are not mine… as if there was ever a doubt!

  10. Glad to know I’m not the only one with mulch flurf isues! The trials of being a mom knitter!

  11. I think any exercise that requires absurd-looking equipment is just unnatural. Still, I bet it feels awesome to do! That nice sore worked-out sort of feeling. Always good.
    And good luck with that knitting!

  12. Dear Kay,
    I blogged about the New York Knit-Out now… it’s about half-way through this post:
    http://noricum.blogspot.com/2006/09/that-sunday.html

  13. From one Dries van Noten lover to another – I like your blog – please ave a look at mine!
    http://myriadeclothes.blogspot.com/
    Per Åge
    MYRIADE

  14. OMG. Just looking at the cartoon!!!!!! I’ve got see a real person on that!!!! Weee!!! Zoing!!! There they go flying out of the room!! AAhh!! I’m still laughing!!! Thank you.

  15. Aw shucks, Ann. :)

  16. Thank you for the visual on Pilates! I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time – I’m so happy that someone else has an appreciation for exercise machines like me!

  17. Chicago? Soon? Please?

  18. TOO FUNNY! I have not tried Pilates yet (well I did eons ago in college) but I did try yoga and let me tell you I spent the entire class time trying not to pass gas—I know, I know, but seriously, between the positions and everything else…it was hard!!! Good luck with the stole, and the Pilates. I am making baby socks with size 0 needles—YIKES!

  19. Are you the one in the middle?
    (Rockette pic.)

  20. Welcome to Memphis! I am a member of the Memphis Knitting Guild, and we hosted Stephanie Pearl-McPhee’s visit back in April. I do hope you can bring some of your tiny mitered stitch markers for us! We’ll be attending the Southern Festival of Books, and look forward to having lunch with you.

  21. I don’t know about you, but I get the heebie jeebies now when anyome mentions “the 100s” Pilates or not!

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