For the look of Relax in a worsted weight yarn, take a look at Worsted Boxy.

NaNoSquaKniMo, And Finally: the Dang Contest

oliverstack.jpg
Dear Ann,
I love knitters. You make a knitter a straightforward request, such as “Please knit a 4-inch square for a really good cause.” You jot down a recipe to make this easier. And then you brace yourself, because to a knitter, life is a rich baroque tapestry, full of complexity. There are many ways to do a thing, even a humble thing like a tiny square of small stitches. Sure, knitters want to git ‘r done. But we want to git ‘r done RIGHT. You have to admire that.
So first, before the contest, I will answer more questions about the knitting of the 4-inch squares. These are all real questions that I have received. Some were in the comments, and some raised issues so HORRIBLE and SHAMEFUL that the knitters emailed them to me privately. I did not make these questions up just to give myself something to blog about, because even though there are two of us, posting every day for NaBloPoMo (or whatever it’s called) seems like an unreasonably difficult thing to attempt. I do not say that I will answer ALL the questions, because it is not possible for me to remember all the questions, and even if I could remember all the questions, if we wait a couple seconds, there will be more questions. So consider these questions, and their answers, and see if you still have questions, and if you do, by all means just AXE ME! I am here to help.
Question: Kay, you say to increase at the beginning of each row in the first half of the square, and then you say to decrease at the beginning of each row in the second half of the square, but you don’t say WHAT TYPE OF DECREASE! HELP! I MUST KNOW: WHAT KIND OF DECREASE?
Answer: The type of increase or decrease is a Knitter’s Choice. Free to be, you and me, each of us increasing and decreasing in our own special way. I am doing it the bone-simple way: I knit into the front and back of the first stitch to increase, and I knit the first 2 stitches together to decrease. Being a knitter and therefore never satisfied unless I have considered all possible options, I was tempted to add the refinement of doing the increases as a make 1-left and then to do SSK decreases (also so as to lean left), but then I said “Girl what is wrong with you? This doesn’t matter!” And so, I used the primal KFB and K2tog, which were invented by our ancestors, the caveknitters. (“Make stitch come!” “Make stitch go!”)
Question: Do you want us to slip the first stitch of every row, for ease of sew-up?
Answer: I’m not doing this for my squares. You may do it if you really like to do it. It’s not necessary, or particularly helpful in whipstitching squares together (the current plan), but I want you to have a lot of fun doing this, and maybe slipping the first stitch makes it fun for you, and if that’s the case, knock yourself out.
Question: I’m not getting the same gauge as you, meaning the legs are not 4 inches when I get to a stitch count of 41 stitches. Is this okay? Must I rip out and change needle sizes until I get the correct, spot-on same gauge as you are contriving to get using one size 1 needle and one size 2 needle (bless your heart but you are a MESS)? Since I am a tight knitter, should I use one size 2 and one size 3, or that metricky needle that is between a size 2 and a size 3?
Answer: You do not have to get the same gauge as me. (Nobody ever gets the same gauge as me. I am a Gauge Unto Myself.) Knit at a gauge that seems sock-ish to you. A gauge that you would be proud to see on a pair of socks knitted by your own fair hand, 6 or 7 or even 8 stitches to the inch. When the legs of the triangle equal 4 inches, you begin decreasing, Sisterwoman, whether you have 47 stitches or 35 stitches or some other number of stitches on the needles at that point in time. Somehow I will manage to sew up these squares. I swear to you I’ll do it! (Tip: No matter what your stitch count is when you get to that magic 4-inch triangle-leg measurement, make a note of that number. This will make it easier for you to knit a second square without having to do any more measuring. We hate to stinkin’ measure things! Avoid needless measuring! Remember your Personal Stitch Count!)
Question: Sob! I have committed [insert Big Mistake Of Tragic Proportions That Does Not, However, Affect the 4-Inchiness of the Square]. Should I rip it to nothingness and start again? And if so, can my self-esteem get any lower?
Answer: Pull yourself together and listen to me. Hear me now: the only things that really matter are (1) a proper sockish gauge and (2) a 4-inch measurement. All other discrepancies are embraced with love. Do not rip. Get to the mailbox. All is forgiven and your square will be gratefully received.
Question: Do you care what colors or patterns the yarns are?
Answer: Can I be candid? Am I among friends? May I bare my soul? If you have a lot of choice in your sock yarn remnants, and you are not going to be using them all, and all things being equal, I am very fond of solid colors or subtly variegated colors, and think it’s easier to make solid-ish colors play together nicely at the sew-up phase. If all you’ve got are self-stripers and self-fair-islers and argyle-o-matics, then by all means, knit ‘em up and send ‘em in. They’re going to fit in just fine. Grays and dulls and murkies are particularly beloved because they will make the other colors POP, like the grout in a glittering mosaic.
indigocontest2.jpg
AND NOW CAN WE PLEASE DO THE CONTEST?
By dint of wheedling and begging, I have in my possession five copies of Jane and Patrick Gottelier’s brand-new book, Indigo Knits, to give away.
whitbystart.jpg
I am already working on my second project from this book. (My first one, a SuperSize Cornish Knit Frock for Hubby, flew off the needles in record time.) For denim fans, and the denim-curious, this book is a must-have, crammed with must-knits. Plus it’s beautiful. Never have fishwives looked so slammin’.
In honor of the Gotteliers being Brits (Cherie Blair blurbed this book, y’all) and Brits being well known for their colorful slang, we are having a SLANG CONTEST!
indigocontest.jpg
Here are the rules:
1. Leave a comment to this post, sharing a favorite item of slang and explaining what it means. The slang does not have to be British slang. The slang does not even have to be in the English language, but you should provide an English translation so that we can all share the fun. Regional slang? Bring it on!
2. Leave your comment by noon, Eastern Standard (US) time, on Tuesday, November 13 (which happens to be the release date of the book).
3. There will be 5 winners. Three will win on the merits (categories to be determined, but along the lines of “Funniest” or “Best Foreign Language Entry”, as judged, in highly subjective fashion, by Ann and me), and two will be awarded in a random drawing from all the entrants. Where there is a duplication of entries, only the first one will be eligible on the merits, but both will be eligible for the random drawing.
So without further ado, let us spread our bingo wings* and fly, my friends.
And if you don’t like my rules, it’ll be handbags.**
Love,
Kay
*Noun. Flesh on the underarms of women who might commonly be seen at bingo nights. Mean but funny, and in my case, bingo!
**Noun. A harmless altercation. Abbreviation of handbags at dawn, which in itself is a riff on pistols at dawn, a reference to duelling. Belinda has explained this to me as what one remarks when two really good-looking soccer players get angry and look all belligerent and mean, like they’re going to tear each other apart, but everybody knows they’re too pretty to really fight–it’s handbags for those two.

466 Comments

466 Comments

  1. *bingo wings!* hi-lar-ious! (and scary, kind of.)
    love slang, love reading about slang:: have always enjoyed (but remained completely puzzled, to be honest) as to the logic of british slang. when i worked for a subtitling company, this was a particular headache, as we really did have to get it just right. and the nature of slang:: just when you’re grasping it, it’s moved on! you’re so passé!
    can i share my least favourite slang instead? here in quebec, everything is ‘full–‘ (as in, ‘full cool’, or ‘full hot’) and when pronounced in my presence, makes me feel so resolutely not.

  2. ‘Two sandwiches short of a picnic’, ‘two bricks short of a load’, or the old-fashioned ‘tenpence in the shilling’ all meaning ‘a little deficient in the common sense department’. English.
    ‘Do ye think I came down the Clyde on a biscuit?’ meaning ‘do you think I am stupid?’ Scottish.

  3. Red Up (Western PA)–to pick up clutter or clean your room/house; to organize, “I am going to ‘red up’ my stash”

  4. “wicked cunnin'”
    Maine lingo for “darn cute.”

  5. I’ve always been partial to “knocking up” meaning to knock on one’s door to alert the occupants of your presence… the Brits have SUCH a way with the language ;-)

  6. My favorites are “whatever blows your skirt up”, meaning that which excites a person; “half of one, six-dozen of the other”, said by a confused friend meaning things are the same but not quite, and “well I’ll be dipped in shit and rolled in cracker crumbs”, meaning I’m surprised but not impressed.

  7. While traveling to GB on business a few years ago, my British coworkers would always say,”Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy”, which was kind of a sign off when leaving one another. Equates to – Take it easy. I still say it today – and get a lot of weird looks from people!

  8. Well, blow me down and call me Johnny, a contest!
    I don’t know if this is slang or just a weird way of saying “wow”. Does it matter?
    Also, when my dad wants to say, Don’t worry, be happy, he says, “Tom Jones sells fresh tobacco.” This might be just silliness, or might be slang. I think we need a more definite definition of slang here.
    Toodle oo. (I think that’s slang for bye-bye.)

  9. I’ve always been fond of:
    She is uglier than homemade sin.
    He is older than dirt.
    and
    He acts like he hired God. (or was on the committee that hired God)
    Valerie

  10. ‘You don’t look at the mantelpiece when you’re stoking the fire’. Rather derogatory comment said of a woman, meaning that her face may not be particularly attractive, but that doesn’t necessarily lessen her general appeal. English.

  11. Wait, there’s more.
    To frog, knitters’ slang for ripping out!
    And, “je ne sais quoi”, french for (this is called a loose translation) “that special little something.” Once there was a terrible mixup with that, when someone said that an acquaintance had a certain “menage a trois” about them. Not the same at all.

  12. I’ve always been partial to my Great-Grandpa Charlie’s expression for a downpour–“raining like a cow pee-ing on a flat rock.” (I suspect he cleaned it up for us kids)

  13. “He’s obviously not the sage of Vilna” — the favorite put-down in my household, meaning “he’s not terribly bright, is he?” (Yiddish)

  14. “Don’t piss on my shoes and tell me its raining” English…Vulgar, but I believe needs no explanation.
    And just for you Kay…”Crikey!”

  15. I adore bingo wings and handbags! Gorgeous sweater!

  16. A couple of french fries short of a happy meal…meaning someone just doesn’t quite have it all together.

  17. When I taught English in Thailand for a few months I met a Thai man who had spent some time living in Los Angeles and London. This, of course, made him an English expert. He explained the difference between British and American slang thusly:
    “In L.A. you say, ‘I need to take a sh*t.’ In London you say, ‘I need to take a ROYAL sh*t.'”
    There you have it!

  18. “I’m gonna knock you nine ways from Sunday” — an empty threat meant to convey great disapproval but no actual violence; what one might say to a new puppy who has just munched an unattractive design in the Sweater in Process.
    “You don’t know your way twice around a matchstick” — I’ve never heard anyone but my mother use this phrase, which is an insult about the listener’s abysmal lack of common sense. For most scathing effect, it should be paired in contrast with one’s level of education, as in “You may have a PhD in neuroscience, but you don’t know your way twice around a matchstick.”

  19. I love the British slang “gobsmacked” – as in “I was gobsmacked” (I was speechless or incredulous). Or the Scottish expression “gassing”, which means gossiping. And “Lord love a duck”, but I don’t know what that one means. Anyone?

  20. I think I made up this slang expression, but it always gets a raised eyebrow or strange look and then a laugh. I’m in SW Missouri where the summers are hot, humid, sticky, and did I mention hot? Then you say, “it’s hotter than dog snot.”
    If it’s so hot that you can “see” the heat on the pavement while driving down the road, then it’s “hotter than dog snot on a frog.”
    (I think it could catch on in Nashville and NYC, too.)

  21. Let’s just call this one family slang. In my very southern Alabama family we have a saying that we use that means roughly, “If you say something out loud, it might come true.” In other words, as luck tends to run in our family, someone might say while driving down a dark and lonely road in the middle of a torrential rainstorm, “Wouldn’t it be awful if we had a flat tire?” And “bam” next thing you know we’d be eating mud with a tire wrench in our hand.
    I grew up thinking that this particular phrase was a common saying until I went away to college. I was in a whole group of new friends when someone said something like “Wouldn’t it be awful if….” and before they could even finish, I inserted my family slang saying, “Don’t put your mouth on it!” I was met with many confused, blank, and startled stares.
    Who knew that this phrase could have so many connotations???

  22. I’m fond of the thinking person’s put down, such as:
    He’s all hat and no cattle
    or
    She’s all fur coat and no knickers

  23. Jo-Anne – ‘Lord love a duck’ is simply an expression of surprise, and may be substituted by Crikey, Blimey (which I actually said when presented with my new-born daughter), Flippin ‘Ec, Bloody Norah, etc etc.

  24. “You look like you’ve been rid hard and put away wet!” (rid = rode, ridden)
    Meaning: you look harried and worn out.
    I heard this from a very Texan coworker, it’s a reference from the ranch and horse riding, but to city folk like me it sounds like an entirely different reference (I’ll let others dirty minds figure it out)! I chuckle every time I think of this one.

  25. ‘You look like you’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards’ meaning ‘you could have taken a little more care with your personal appearance’. English.

  26. Just thought of a few more region-specific slang terms I learned when I moved to the East Coast from Seattle: In Baltimore, a trip to see the Atlantic or, apparently, just taking a vacation in that direction, is “going downy ayshin” (Bawlmerese). In Philly, it’s “going down the shore”. My father is fond of saying “We don’t write this script” when something doesn’t go the way we’d hoped, and my mother-in-law will tell my father-in-law, when he’s standing in front of the television or otherwise impeding her view, “Marvin, your father was not a window maker!”

  27. I come from a large construction family, so for someone who wasn’t ‘thinking clearly’ he was “half a bubble off level” And my father’s famous for anything even slightly historical: “before your head was as big as a grape.”

  28. ‘You make a better door than a window’ meaning ‘get out of the way’. English.

  29. My favorites are “The gates are down and the lights are flashing but there’s no train in the station” — a brainless twit. I also like the rather raunchy slang for a pair of high heeled stilettos that show toe cleavage “Throw me down and f*** me shoes” — self-explanatory.

  30. This comes from my Нобый англо–русский словарь современной разговорной лексики (or in english – New english-russian dictionary of modern spoken vocabulary), which was a gift from a supervisor at work who had lived in Russia (I’m a Russian major). I’ll give the entire entry, because I really can’t put it better myself.
    “Bag it: expr imper AmE sl 1) You’re not rad and you’re not awesome, so, like, bag it! Ты паряибый козел и даваий, в натуре, вали отсуда!”
    Honestly, until reading through this dictionary (which is what me and my friends occasionally do just for fun) I had never heard this particular phrase (in english or in Russian). Consequently though, we now use it at least once a week, usually in the phrase “Bag it, you’re not rad!” Over the weeks it has created more and more meanings (i.e. shut up you’re dumb, or for the environmentally conscious – bring your own bag to the grocery store because when you use a disposable bag you are not, as they say, rad!).
    Apparently this is (or was) a widely used phrase somewhere in the US. At least widely used enough to be put into a Russian dictionary. (And just for the record, the russian translation isn’t NEARLY as entertaining as the “American” version)

  31. “Geez, Louise”. My favorite from a friend in Wisconsin meaning, good grief or oh my goodness.
    My other favorite, “fixin’ to”, meaning getting ready to do something. Example: She was fixin’ to go to town. I used hear this a lot when I lived in New Orleans.

  32. lawl
    Online gamers, when using voice chat will sometimes actually say L.O.L. when speaking (though actually laughing out loud would seem to be more appropriate). But that is too much effort for some, so they say “lawl”. And it has now come full circle back to in-game text chatting. Some people actually type out lawl.
    Usage: When I read Mason-Dixon, I lawl.

  33. Being a bit nerdy, I am rather fond of some of our “culture’s” anagrams. My favorite being: RTFM. I won’t say all four of the letters because you can guess but it stands for: Read the F* Manual!
    In the gaming community there’s always someone (usually me) that just wants to PLAY and jumps into a game with both feet first (ooh! That’s a good slang too!) and is usually clueless about the inner workings of said game. I have started using it in my day-to-day to refer to a situation where “if you just took a second to figure it out you wouldn’t be bugging me!”. All said in a cheerful manner of course, with no harsh feelings meant.
    I love some of the great ones posted already though! :)

  34. “Give ‘er!” – an exclamatory exhortation to do one’s best, put forth full effort. Common in Canada, especially the east.

  35. ‘bent as a nine-bob note’ means untrustworthy, whereas ‘bent as a butcher’s hook’ means gay, and ‘giv uz a butcher’s’ is Cockney for ‘Let me see’ (butcher’s hook = look).English.

  36. One of my all time favorite words is da kine- It’s Hawiian slang that can be practically any part of speech. I love that it’s used both in a whatever or like way, and also can refer to something very specific.
    Have to show my Boston roots with wicked- wicked awesome, wicked pisser. I managed to escape the Boston accent but I’ll never lose wicked!

  37. ‘up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire’ meaning climb the stairs and go to bed, generally said to distract small children from the fact that they’re going to bed by confusing them. English. OK I’ll stop now.

  38. Bully!
    I don’t think it’s said anymore, but it always cracks me up. There’s an episode of Family Guy where they have a 30-second flashback of everyone saying it: “How are you today? I’m bully! Are you bully? Bully! Is everyone having a bully day? Bully! Bully!” Cracks me up every time. However, I have yet to work it into conversation at work.

  39. Bully!
    I don’t think it’s said anymore, but it always cracks me up. There’s an episode of Family Guy where they have a 30-second flashback of everyone saying it: “How are you today? I’m bully! Are you bully? Bully! Is everyone having a bully day? Bully! Bully!” Cracks me up every time. However, I have yet to work it into conversation at work.

  40. How about “hotter than a goat’s ass in a pepper patch”? Used for spicy stuff mostly. I don’t know where this comes from, but I come from east TN, so that seems the likely origin.

  41. Mumblescrawl, first seen on the stern of a sailboat. The boat was Canadian, the skipper sounded Austalian,the word describes a drunks efforts at locomotion. I suspect this is of some vaguely British derivation.
    (Thank-you Kay, I’m such a luddite)

  42. I’ve got two for y’all:
    -“diddy-boppin’ on down the super-slab,” said when you are from Mississippi and also driving on the interstate
    -“Arschgeweih,” which is German and translates roughly to “ass-antler;” it refers to a tribal-style tattoo placed just above the owner’s hiney that peeks out when they bend down (I believe this is known as a “tramp stamp” in English)
    I’m not particularly concerned about winning, just delighted to be able to share these wonderful phrases with others!

  43. When something cost too much or wanted to distract us really… My grandmother always used to say an item cost a dollar 3.80… which doesn’t make a lot of sense.. hence why I think she was only trying to distract us from the itemin question!

  44. When something cost too much or wanted to distract us really… My grandmother always used to say an item cost a dollar 3.80… which doesn’t make a lot of sense.. hence why I think she was only trying to distract us from the itemin question!

  45. What a “crackin” (fun) contest !
    My favorite country for slang is Australia — there’s some GREAT phrases Down Under. For example, if a man needs to go relieve himself, he’s “shaking hands with the unemployed” :)

  46. the bases are loaded and so are we

  47. I adore slang – I even have a dictionary dedicated to slang. But one of my absolute slang words happend to be Brittish: GOBSMACKED.
    It means exactly what it sounds like it means: utterly shocked beyond words, speechless, “can’t believe it!” I got this from a friend who is from England, but now lives in Texas.

  48. My fave is “the south bound express train” It means…well lets just say I use this one when my tummy is giving me a south and out kind of trouble. I also use the “North bound express train” for the opisite reason

  49. Said of a woman: “All fur coat & no knickers” – British slang, for a woman who’s good looking but has nothing upstairs. I heard it once in a deposition and thought everybody in the room would faint from laughing. :)
    To add to Melissa’s Western PA slang, there’s the Pittsburgh slang “YINZ” — as in “you all, or y’all.” Example: “Yinz gonna watch dem Stillers on Sunday?”

  50. My grandmother always had a saying when something costed too much or if she was trying to distrct us… she would say that the item costs”a dollar 3.80″ It always had us guessing!

  51. My grandmother always had a saying when something costed too much or if she was trying to distrct us… she would say that the item costs”a dollar 3.80″ It always had us guessing!

  52. “Half a bubble off” in construction not level or plumb, in slang not all there.
    “my blonde isn’t real. or “the blonde comes from a bottle” – I’m not as dumb as I look/you think.

  53. It seems almost impossible to find little girl’s pants that aren’t low rise. As a result I often find myself telling my daughter to pull up her pants when we’re out. Our shortened version? All I have to say now is “coin slot” (I hope the visual is all you need by way of explanation) and she knows she needs to hike up her knickers.

  54. me again…
    Just wanted to say I absolutely SNORTED when I read Emily’s contribution!!

  55. I work with a group of Henna artists and when know that what you are drawing is going to be worn on someones’ body for a few weeks you tend to obsesses about getting it perfect.
    Actually the artists is way more obessive about it than the client. The client is usually happy that it’s needleless, temporary and makes them feel pretty.
    So our slang for “Finish up, Michalangelo. You’ve been working on that for an hour, she’s lost all feeling holding her hand like that and we have 20 people standing in waiting for your genius.”, is “Dot move on”. It can be shortened to just “Dot” if you are seriously irritating you companions.
    It’s been picked up by most of our friends and has become a gentle reminder when your getting just a little too fussy. Get the job done and move on.

  56. Boy howdy, I first read about the contest, checked the comments, and there were 19. Then, after remembering some slang, I came back to the blog and there were 49 comments. Kay, I don’t envy you this choice.
    My entry is from my 1970’s formative years. Frank Zappa said in a song “Girl, you thought he was a man, but he was a muffin.” That phrase has morphed into the consoling catagory and is voiced among my girlfriends when you serve tea to a tearful, rejected woman.

  57. knackered: Adj. Origin–British. Exhausted, worn-out. E.g.: Henry was knackered after rugby practise.
    fixin’ to: Adv. (I think). Origin: American South/Texas. About to. E.g.: I’m fixin’ to go make dinner. (My dad uses this on the phone with his contacts in London, and the Londoners always reply, “You’re fixing something? What broke? Huh?”)

  58. “Finer than a frog hair split five ways” – Since frogs don’t have hair, that saying takes people by surprise. I use to express approval.
    I also like “absolutely knackered”, Brit slang for completely and totally tired out.

  59. I’m quite fond of the slang that’s come in by way of sci-fi fans. While there’s a boatload* of subcultural slang, Firefly/Serenity terms seem to be particularly infectious — “shiny” = good, ok, cool; “the Black” = space, the sky; “gorram” = (derogatory) akin to ‘goddamn’
    *boatload = a great amount, very much :)

  60. Here’s my personal favorite British slang – using the word “Barney” for trouble. As in Barney Rubble. Rhymes with trouble. I first heard Don Cheadle say this in “Ocean’s Eleven” and love it!

  61. wicked: as far as I can tell, this is Bostonian for very or cool or very cool, depending on the context. Here is Minnesota we just say “super”
    rooting [for]: again, here in Minnesota, means supporting/cheering for [your team]. In Australia (as some of my classmates found out at a footie game), not so much.

  62. My favorite slang is English Regency slang from reading things like too much Georgette Heyer. They were so charmingly circumspect about things.
    Take being being drunk:
    above par
    a trifle disguised
    ape-drunk
    malt above water
    on the go
    bosky
    eaten Hull cheese
    foxed
    half-sprung
    jug-bitten
    properly shot in the neck
    tap-hackled
    top-heavy
    in one’s cups
    Of course, if you are one of these things, you might just “cast up your accounts” (ie vomit).

  63. My BIL grew up in South London, and so has a cockney accent complete with all of their colorful terms for common items. My favorites:
    Rosie Lee (translation: tea); usage: Do you want a cuppa Rosie?
    Ruby Murray (translation: curry, as in, the generic term for all Indian food); usage: We’re going to have a Ruby for dinner.
    I also love that he calls his wife, my sister, “girl.” Just imagine it in a cockney accent, sounding more like a blending of “gal” and “girl”.

  64. An entry in the foreign language dept:
    “Sie hat ganz schoen Holz vor der Huette.” German. Translation: “She has a nice stack of wood in front of the shed.”
    English equivalent: “my oh my, look at that woman’s large bosom.” (see also: stacked, a nice rack, etc.)

  65. “XYZ” or, “eXamine Your Zipper”, for those who need to be told. (Also, “your barn door’s open.”)
    “King’s X” is announced on an item when one must temporarily part with it, usually a comfortable chair, but wishes to come back and use it again without it being stolen by someone else.
    “Well strip my gears and call me shiftless” = exclamation of surprise
    “Chillaxin'” = somewhere between ‘chilling’ and ‘relaxing’
    In the IT world there are a number of acronymns explaining to other IT folks what the real problem is, without angering or insulting the client. Such acronymns include PEBKAC (problem exists between keyboard and chair), RTFM (read the f***ing manual), and STFU NOOB (kindly shut your mouth, you person with very little experience in this matter).
    And that’s not even getting into the world of lolcats. For a crash course in that, I recommend http://www.icanhascheezburger.com.

  66. A couple of my favorites:
    Cattywumpus–all discombobulated, askew, awry as it were. Kind of like my knitting after a glass of chardonnay.
    A frog-strangler–a downpour.
    Beat like a rented mule–How I felt when the twins were little.

  67. I learned my favorite from some New Zealand nurses.
    Pissed as a newt.
    It means really drunk.
    When you are REALLY drunk, you say “nissed as a pewt”. (not necessarily on purpose)
    which is the funniest thing ever.

  68. Hi, I’d like to participate in the contest. I can’t think of any especially interesting slang at the moment, so I’m going to share a piece of my own personal slang. I teach knitting, and my students all learn pretty quickly that when I’m helping them find or fix a mistake, I usually call it a “point of interest” or say “something interesting happened here.” It’s so much less demoralizing to think of it as a learning opportunity or even perhaps as a design feature! I hope this can count, even though it’s sort of my own personal little codephrase rather than pop-culture slang.

  69. My grandfather is a wealth of colorful expressions:
    “He don’t shave in my shop.” ‘I don’t know who you mean;’ also extrapolated to ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about, please stop.’
    “A cross between a bull b*tch and a window dressing.” His affectionate term for the chow/lab/sheepdog/G-d-knows-what-else mix we had when I was a kid. She was the sweetest dog…
    “Baccigaloop” I have no idea how to spell that, nor what it means, but it’s what he called me until he felt I’d reached an age of somewhat-reason. I suspect he’ll never believe I’m a fully-reasonable human being.
    Also used for any small child, particularly when telling them so stop doing whatever it is they’re doing.

  70. “Huge tracts o’ land!” Attributed to Monty Python, of course! A buddy in college (a male) once made the comment about my, um, frontal property when I was wearing a (storebought!) sweater that was knit in squares and joined by what I can only imagine was whipstitching in a matching color – this was WAY before I applied needles to yarn! I am generously endowed and looked like hazy blue and tan farmland stretching out for miles in that sweater. That was the last time I wore that sweater (even if I enjoyed the attention from this particular male!) but that saying has stayed with us over the past decade!

  71. “Wicked pissah!” or just “Wicked!” Boston-ese for awesome, as in “The Sox won the series, that’s wicked pissah!”
    “Cooking with gas.” One of my favorite Britishisms. Means you are cruising along with no difficulty, similar to ‘easy, peezy, lemon squeezy’.

  72. Moving from the west coast to Texas has taught me a whole lot of new slang, but my favorite (aside from the man who told me on the phone one day that he couldn’t help me right away because he was “busier than a one-legged man in a butt kickin’ contest”) is “that dawg don’t hunt”, which is used when something just won’t work, to the point of being preposterous.

  73. When I really like something at the very first look, or hear about something I really want to do, “Cool Beans!” just falls out of my mouth. I think it is something from the late 60’s early 70’s, but that expression has stayed with me. My Aunt would say of a lady who ‘exaggerated”, “she lies like a rug.”

  74. Let’s see:
    fair to middlin’ – feeling okay. Not great, not lousy but fair to middlin’
    cattywhompus, kittycorner, cattycorner – diagonally across
    too much sugar for a nickle – more than necessary
    that boy ain’t wropped too tight, few bricks shy of a load, one sandwich short of a picnic, few fries short of a happy meal, elevator don’t go all the way to the top, lights are on but no-one’s home – not all there
    I’m and ex-pat Texan if that makes a difference :)

  75. Ok, got a few for you. Ann might know this one, said of an unmarried woman who might uncharitably be called a spinster… She’s one of the Lord’s unclaimed blessings. For the full Southern expression, it would probably be more like “Bless her heart, she’s just one of the Lord’s unclaimed blessings.”
    We’re also fond of swinging dead cats, as in “You cain’t swing a dead cat without hitting a Waffle House.”
    I’m also partial to “nekkid” as opposed to “naked.” I think it was the late Lewis Grizzard (or maybe Jeff Foxworthy? I might get shot for not knowing this) who said that naked just means you have no clothes on. Nekkid means you have no clothes on and you’re up to something!

  76. I may be disqualified for cheating (that lexicographer thing), I have two that I use all the time:
    “He’s/She’s sharper than a sack of wet hair.”
    And for the foreign-language category, the Finnish “paskan marjat,” which means, um, “sh*t berries.”
    Don’t need the books so much, but I want to share the love that is “paskan marjat.” Almost as good as the German “Arschgeweih” (adding to My Own Personal Lexicon right now).

  77. Well,
    here is one for your Best foreign language entry.
    In the north of Sweden you do not have to say:
    “Sära på benen” (Spread out your legs.)
    Instead you could just say: “Bresa.”
    Saves alot of time…

  78. I have many favorites, however “one taco short of a combo platter” is one of the die hards. Meaning someone is not too smart. P.S. I love your blog. Keep up the great work.

  79. Okay I have a regional slang in American Sign Language for you. (an offically recognized language ;) )
    Using your pointer finger and your ring finger in a “V” place onto your neck. That means “stuck”. In the south however, it also means pregnant. hehehe
    Bingo!

  80. “Happier than a pig in s**t” will always be my favorite slang term…
    That? And “DUDE”. I know, not very original, but I’m giving it a shot ;)

  81. Perhaps my all time fav,
    “Shut your cake ‘ole” = british for close your mouth
    and my current phrase of the day
    “quacky wacky” = crazy, but actually it is my english version of a phrase that I used a lot in Korea which translated means “crazy silly” but I got tired of explaining the korean to everyone so i came up with my own.

  82. My husband is French and has a particularly colorful way of speaking. Several of my favorites are:
    “Tu as avalé un clown” (literally: you swallowed a clown) which essentially means “you think you said something funny, but really you wouldn’t make it as a stand-up comedian”
    and
    “et mon cul, c’est du poulet” (literally, and my a** is a chicken?) to which some people will add “t’en veux un aile?” (literally, do you want a wing?) which is the equivalent of our “are you pulling my leg?”

  83. “Plates”
    Means: Feet
    Origin: Cockney (Cockney rhymes – in the case, plates of mean, rhymes with feet)
    here’s another
    “Loaf”
    Means: Head
    Origin: Cockney
    Oh, how I love cockney slang :)

  84. “corn snow”: the hard snow-like pellets that come down from the sky when it’s too cold for rain but too warm for actual snow accumulation
    I learned this little gem last week during some rather odd weather, when a guy in a coffee shop said to me “I hear there’s corn snow coming down out there…eh?”
    Just another Wisconsin oddity, I guess!

  85. I grew up in Virginia, and have never heard anyone outside of that fine state say “Criminetly!” The first I is long: Cry-minetly.
    It means the same as “cripes” or “Oh, for God’s sake” or whatever you say when you cannot BELIEVE what is happening.

  86. How about some more Brit slang: “Y-fronts,” roughly equivalent to US “tighty whiteys.”
    Example sentence: “She couldn’t wait to get ‘er ‘ands into me Y-fronts!”

  87. Hi,
    I used to say that “allting går med vilja, våld och vaselin” (Everything vill work out if you use determination, force and vaseline) but I have stopped using it. For obvious reasons really, but sometimes I´m kind of slow…

  88. I lived in England for 18 years, you’d think I’d remember more slang!
    One favorite is “sod this for a game of soldiers” which means “I am very frustrated and have decided that it is not worth continuing with this activity.”
    “arse over tip” translation: to fall head over heels.
    “sarky bastard” translation: sarcastic person.
    There’s a wonderful online dictionary of English slang & colloquialisms here: http://www.peevish.co.uk/slang/

  89. My Oklahoma grandfather once remarked that one of my friends lived “on the corner of Clear and Nellie.” When I asked him what he was talking about, he replied, “She lives clear out of town and nellie in the country!”

  90. Courtesy my mother we have, “It’s hot as a crotch in here”, “I haven’t seen you since Jesus was a pup”, “She’s got a balcony you could perform Shakespeare from” and “Don’t be a dog in the manger.” Meaning respectively, you are experiencing an Alabama summer, we haven’t seen each other in quite a while, the young lady is amply endowed and give your sister that dress you never wear it anyway.
    In Alabama, we also call the lower-back tattoo a Panama City license plate.
    Another personal favorite of mine is “That dog won’t hunt” meaning you’d better come up with a better explanation, mister.

  91. This is just something I like to say when someone else is realing slamming a third person: “S/he really doesn’t deserve to live, does s/he.”
    Another expression I really like is FUBAR (translation: “f—ed up beyond all recognition)! It’s sometimes fun to curse without actually saying the “f” word (hmmm, wonder what nownormaknits2 would thing of this?).
    Gee, this is fun :)

  92. My brother-in-law’s mother used to say of anything really annoying, “Oh, that makes my a*& chew gum.”
    So graphic. So impossible. So true.

  93. My New Zealand neighbor by way of Canada had me stumped for a moment when she came over to borrow a “spanner” to fix her kids’ bikes. I guessed “wrench” correctly. So a “spanner in the works” is akin to “throwing a monkey wrench” into ones plans.

  94. Slang from Upstate New York: bye-bye arms… same as bingo wings!

  95. Here are a couple for you.
    In Chile, a speed bump is called a ‘paco acostado’. A sleeping cop, basically.
    A bit of background for the other one, though. Down there (in Santiago, at least), the taxis are black, with a yellow roof. A bottle-blond is, rather crudely, called a taxi – because she’s yellow up top, but black down below.

  96. There ain’t nothin’ golden ’bout the golden years ‘cept the color of my urine. Meaning getting old really stinks!

  97. Ok, here are a few more…
    He was smiling like a jackass eating briars.
    He couldn’t find his ass with two hands and a flashlight.
    He’s so tight (with money), he squeaks when he walks.
    She doesn’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. (Got to have the “of” at the end.)
    Scarce as hen’s teeth
    She’s dumber than a box of rocks.

  98. A friend of mine will sometimes say someone (usually a girl) is a “broken heel white pump”, meaning that they are sad and messed up. I guess its only funny if the phrase isn’t being used to describe you! So there you go!

  99. Some of my favs…
    Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, not the sharpest tool in the shed, not the brightest bulb on the tree.
    In our personal slang the most recent addition came on a recent vacation when after a series of events I found myself locked out of our hotel room. I was texting my hubby to tell him what a dork I was, but my phone was smarter than me and I ended up with “I am a fork”. So now whenever someone pulls a particularly bone-headed maneuver they, too, are a fork.

  100. Our family favorites are the slang terms for vomit: Toss your cookies, uneat, review the menu, laughing at the ground, heave, hurl, blow chunks, holler New York, technicolor yawn, lose your lunch, Ralph.
    Don’t forget the Miltary accronyms that have crept into English language: FUBAR and SNAFU
    example: My knitting is FUBAR. I have to frog the whole thing before I hurl.

  101. “Don’t let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya!” In other words, get the heck outta my house NOW and it won’t bother me a bit.
    “As nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockers.” Pretty self-explanatory.
    “You were just knee-high to a grasshopper!” Meaning you were just a kid when whatever story is being told took place.
    Then of course, there’s the old-time favorite, “One brick shy of a load,” meaning someone is not very bright.

  102. These are too fun! Here are my favorites from childhood-
    “eleventy seven” Meaning: a lot
    “fixin to” Meaning: getting ready to do whatever
    And my all time favorite – Ustacud (used ta could) meaning: I could do that at one time, but not now.
    I think they are all American – I grew up in rural Kansas, family from Tennessee and Oklahoma.

  103. My personal favorite is “rocks my face off”. For example: “That new striping dishcloth cotton rocks my face off!” Basically, it just means something is amazingly wonderful, but it is a much more colorful way to say it, yes?

  104. “Weather’s snotty” – Downeast mariner talk for rainy, drizzly weather.

  105. After living in France for three years, I’ve heard some pretty good ones. My favorites are French versions of popular slang used in English, such as:
    six feet under: “il mange les pissenlits par les racines,” which means, he’s eating dandelions by the roots
    and the ever popular:
    raining cats and dogs: “il pleut comme les vaches qui pissent,” it’s raining like peeing cows (ick!)

  106. Pear shaped: adjective, English origins, usually used as “going pear shaped” or “gone a bit pear shaped”. Meaning – going wrong, going awry, really tragically screwed up. Typically used in classic British understatement, as in “The sweater was coming along well, but it all started going a bit pear shaped after the tiger attack,” or, “I was knitting my masterpiece, but its gone a bit pear shaped with the third sleeve.”
    My husband tells me this term comes from airplane acrobatics. A perfect aerial loop is round, but if you muff it, it’s pear shaped (and, therefore, potentially a disaster).

  107. I love using the phrase “it’s spitting outside” when it’s sort of raining, but not really a lot. And (because I DO have big feet) I like the phrase “big plates of meat”. Oh, and this one is good (and related to a conversation I was having with my England-born mother about Kaffe Fassett’s large patterned fabrics) “worn once–never forgotten”.

  108. My mom’s old school hillbilly, so she has a saying for everything. These are my favorites…even though I’m not sure what they mean.
    “Well shit fire and save the matches!” — when something’s really surprising/shocking. As I suppose it would be if someone suddenly shit fire.
    “Cold as a witch’s tit.” — obvs, when it’s *very* cold outside.
    “…cuttin’ a shine…” — acting out, aka “showing one’s ass”.
    Oh, there’s a thousand more…

  109. Not really fair for me to enter, Kay, since I was one of the editors of the Oxford Dictionary of American Slang.
    But how’s this for a non-English entry?
    In Greek, if a child is misbehaving, you might hear a mother (and it might be me) saying, “Na sevRAso!” It doesn’t sound too threatening unless you know it means “I’m going to boil you!”

  110. more sayings but slang, but here goes:
    –he “doesn’t have the sense God gave geese” (or, alternatively, he’s “as dumb as a duck”)
    –he was “hit by the ugly stick”
    –she’s “cuter than a speckled pup”
    newly learned (at least to me) slang:
    –“tramp stamp”–for the tattoo that young women are getting at their sacrum/lower back

  111. “Dark Thirty O’clock” said to indicate the timing of event that was set to take place at dusk, like a fireworks display.
    FUN contest!! I’m ROFLOL over the new slang terms I’ve learned today!

  112. My husband used to say someone was as ‘useless as tits on a boar’ – unproductive and in the way.
    I’m rather fond of saying “whatever floats your boat” or if I’m in a particular mood, “I don’t give a flying fig” – both are versions of I don’t care, is doesn’t affect me, do whatever you want! :)

  113. My husband’s grandmother has some great ones:
    “That went over like a pregnant pole vaulter.”= that joke, idea, etc., is totally lame
    “That’s finer that the hair on a a frog’s back!”= very nice
    “Someone just threw a turd in the punch bowl!”=that was a conversation-killer
    “That would gag a buzzard off a gut wagon”= ewww, nasty.
    “The Green Apple Quick Step” and “The Green Cherry Run Off”= diarrhea
    She’s a lively woman!

  114. When I was an exchange student in Glasgow, I had a friend from rural Scotland who was a font of great expressions, some of which I still use.
    “Thick as a sheep.” (Dumb)
    “I’m so hungry I could eat a scabby horse.” (When you’re *really* hungry, it’s “…a scabby horse between two planks.”)
    And “as useless as a chocolate teapot.”
    I love the Glaswegian putdown “all fur coat and nae knickers” as well, but no one here in New York ever understands it.

  115. My favorite is “it’s snowing down south” which means “your white slip is showing below the hem of your dress”

  116. ‘As much use as a chocolate teapot’ – in other words, useless. Obviously English, the northern part I think!

  117. Slang (although likely only in my house) for someone who is really good at something – that person is a “Farmer”. You know, because they are
    outstanding in their field.

  118. I’ve been hanging out lately in some LiveJournal communities populated mostly by Asian teen-aged girls (don’t ask) and they have a saying that I must admit I’ve absorbed into my thoughts if not my speech. If you really like something, you say it is “made of win.” As in, “That Indigo Knits book is made of win!” I guess if slang travels at the rate of the flu virus, we’ll all be saying it in 6 months or so. Or maybe just me.

  119. When I went on a high school trip to France the cool thing there was to insert some form of the word “vache” (cow) into your sentences. If something was really awesome it was “vachement bien.” (cowly good), etc. Now I’m a long ways out of high school and one of my favorite things to do is to use this thoroughly dated and now, I’m sure, completely uncool French slang to people’s confusion and eyerolls (depending on if they’re French-speakers or not) everywhere.

  120. “SBD” or “Silent but Deadly”…
    phrase describing a type of fart – something you should beware of when your husband scoots away really quickly and in mid-sentence. These are deadly.

  121. I hate to rain on anyone’s parade but would explain that in the UK the term ‘knocked up’ refers to a woman who is unexpectedly pregnant rather than anything to do with doors.
    The phrase ‘all fur coat and no knickers’ refers to a woman who looks posh and proper but is a woman of easy virtue (slapper).
    “I’ll go to the foot of stairs’ – a term indicating mild surprise.

  122. I hate to rain on anyone’s parade but would explain that in the UK the term ‘knocked up’ refers to a woman who is unexpectedly pregnant rather than anything to do with doors.
    The phrase ‘all fur coat and no knickers’ refers to a woman who looks posh and proper but is a woman of easy virtue (slapper).
    “I’ll go to the foot of stairs’ – a term indicating mild surprise.

  123. dinkle – as in “dinkle dinkle dink” as in a pea brain and the sound the little pea in the head makes when the head is shaken.
    I think this slang is specific to my family.

  124. I can’t believe that no one has yet posted that great southern put down “Aw, bless her heart!” Loosely translated – the poor dear just doesn’t know any better and I’m not going to tell her. In the UK they say “Bless her cotton socks” to mean the same thing. That version has all sorts of knitting connotations…
    But my favorite is a cry of exasperation / frustration from my grandmother: “Oh, for crying out loud in a bucket of beer!”

  125. my personal favorite: “spank your inner moppet”
    origin: buffy the vampire slayer (yep, proud geek here)
    meaning: grow up (more literally, discipline your inner child)

  126. Yes I agree ‘Knocked up’ is definately pregnant!
    One that I use is ‘all mouth and no trousers’ meaning you have plenty to say but don’t actually do any thing

  127. I’ve always liked….”Put on your big girl panties and deal with it!”…meaning, of course, suck it up and just deal with it.

  128. Well, my cube mate is a Brit and so I’ve picked up on a lot of slang from him. But he showed me this link, http://www.bbcamerica.com/content/141/dictionary.jsp so that I can translate what he is saying! We also have tea and biscuits twice a day. Sorry the dog’s (phone) ringing.

  129. My dad is a rich source of slangy expressions. A few of my favorites:
    – “A double bagger” is something so embarrassing that not only do you wear a paper bag over your head, but the audience/observer needs to wear a paper bag over his head, too, in case yours falls off.
    – If something is really bad/ugly, it is “dog lips,” even worse is “moose lips,” and the ultimate in awful is “moose lips on a tractor.”

  130. “That’s a tall can of corn.” – baseball slang for a pop fly.

  131. My grandmother had a saying that is very good for knitters… “It will never show on a trotting horse” (if a mistake is so small that you are the only one in the world who can find it, then don’t worry about it).
    Also, one of my favorites:
    “I’m off like a prom dress.” (Goodbye)

  132. “That’s a tall can of corn.” – baseball slang for a pop fly.

  133. “Like the dog’s breakfast”
    Meaning: something visually unappealing. Like when I get creative with a gauge and yarn in making a knitted 4″ square – my husband would say “Honey, that looks like the dog’s breakfast”.
    My dog, Tubby, would argue that all appealing things are good for breakfast…

  134. “Like the dog’s breakfast”
    Meaning: something visually unappealing. Like when I get creative with a gauge and yarn in making a knitted 4″ square – my husband would say “Honey, that looks like the dog’s breakfast”.
    My dog, Tubby, would argue that all appealing things are good for breakfast…

  135. Drive careful, it’s deer-thirty.
    Deer-thirty comes twice a day- in the evening when the sun has gone down but it’s not yet dark, and in the morning when it is light but the sun has not yet risen. During those times of the day, deer are particularly prone to grazing in the roadside ditches, and to leaping in front of approaching vehicles (which is not good for the vehicles and even less fun for the deer).
    I live in a county that has something like 200 car-deer accidents per year, so deer-thirty is not when you want to be joyriding.

  136. This is what I tell my children all the time when they make ridiculous requests-That dog don’t hunt.

  137. This is what I tell my children all the time when they make ridiculous requests-That dog don’t hunt.

  138. How about “lights on; nobody home” for someone who is clueless.
    By the way, in Philadelphia we refer to going to the ocean as “goin downashore” pronounced like that not “down to the shore”. When I first moved her, I had no idea what they were saying, since I always called it the beach. whatever.

  139. Flip Top Lid:
    When you have done something particularly well, or when someone or some action has really surpassed your expections, you exclaim “flip top lid!”.
    This expression is meant to connote the front top of your head bursting straight up – like a jack-in-the-box, or a toupee caught in a surprisingly strong gust of wind.
    It is derived literally from the saucy action of flipping the top part of a container lid so that it springs open. This must be done while holding the container in one hand, and flipping the lid open with a dramatic flick of the thumb.
    “Flip Top Lid!” is best said proud and loud.
    Embellish it with a silly beaming grin on your face, and feel the joy.
    (I do believe that only my immediate family uses this expression, but it deserves a wider audience.)
    Thank you.
    Flip top lid!

  140. Flip Top Lid:
    When you have done something particularly well, or when someone or some action has really surpassed your expections, you exclaim “flip top lid!”.
    This expression is meant to connote the front top of your head bursting straight up – like a jack-in-the-box, or a toupee caught in a surprisingly strong gust of wind.
    It is derived literally from the saucy action of flipping the top part of a container lid so that it springs open. This must be done while holding the container in one hand, and flipping the lid open with a dramatic flick of the thumb.
    “Flip Top Lid!” is best said proud and loud.
    Embellish it with a silly beaming grin on your face, and feel the joy.
    (I do believe that only my immediate family uses this expression, but it deserves a wider audience.)
    Thank you.
    Flip top lid!

  141. Referring to someone you don’t like: “I wouldn’t spit on her if she caught fire.”
    Weird British slang that I grew up with:
    “Quiz!” (This means, “Who wants this?” but you don’t have to reveal what “this” is.)
    Answer to “Quiz” is either “Ego” (I want it!) or “Nego” (Not me!) First person to say “Ego” gets it–and has to take it.
    This is a great way to get rid of stuff you don’t like, because people will naturally say “Ego” in hopes that it is something good. For this to work you have to occasionally give away stuff that actually IS good.
    British slang for throwing up: Talking on the great white telephone.

  142. Couple from back home in New Mexico on the ranch. “he couldn’t poor piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heal” Meaning that if he had to turn it over to read the directions he still couldn’t do it right, and my moms favorite. “Take an aronautical seduction at a mobiling pastry.” translation take a flying f@#K at a rolling dougnut.

  143. I will share with you now a bit of ‘small kine’ (the pidgin slang used in Hawaii) and you may pick your favorite of the bunch to enter. (Or, you know, enter them all, ’cause if I don’t win a copy of that book, I’m buying it.)
    ‘talk story’ – to hang around, gossiping and laughing
    ‘B-52′ – the ubiquitous flying cockroach, considered small unless they’re over three inches long
    ‘haole’ (pronounced ‘howlie’) – originally from the Hawaiian, the literal translation means ‘outsider’ but these days has degenerated into something more like ‘you stupid clueless (#*@@$’
    ah – a sound, used with different expression, to convey emotion; I have heard entire conversations carried out with no actual words used
    lolo (low low, with a slight emphasis on the first syllable) – crazy, not quite right, as in, ‘you lolo haole’ pakalolo, ‘funny smoke’ is the slang term for marijuana
    okole (oh KOH lay) – your butt
    mauka (MOW kuh) – inland
    makai (muh KAI) – toward the water
    these are used instead of ‘north’ or ‘south’ to give directions, like ‘go mauka’ or ‘it’s on the makai side [of the street]‘
    ukus (OO koos) – small bugs, maybe originally fleas, but now any small bug – mosquitos, flies, gnats, you get the idea
    da kine – ‘the kind’ in local pronunciation – a thingie; you know, da kine
    pau – (pow, but with a softer ending to the word) finished; when you’re at a restaurant, at the end of the meal the waitress will ask ‘you pau?’ before she takes your plates
    I do not speak Hawaiian; I didn’t really speak small kine (I’m a former English major and knew I’d sound like a dork if I tried). These are not specialty words, they really are used, every day, by people living there.
    Enjoy.

  144. I have so many, I hardly know where to start! My southern grandma used to call her bra an “over the shoulder boulder holder.” And if something was small or cramped, in terms of space, she would say, “there isn’t enough room in here to swing a cat!” My Jewish grandmother used to say “she has taste in her mouth” for someone with a poor or tacky sense of taste. When my grandfather couldn’t find something that was right in front of him, she used to say “you are blind in one and can’t see out of the other!”
    I also like “up the duff,” which is British slang for pregnant.
    “When g-d was a child” means a long, long time ago.
    “the year 0″ means the same sort of thing, as in “We have never agreed about this–she has been fighting with me about this since the year 0″ (a very long time).
    To explain to someone that you, are, in fact, not stupid, you can say “I was born at night . . . but not last night.”
    My dad always uses “to read the riot act,” which means to bawl out, to lecture in loud tones. Ex. When I get the insurance company on the phone, I am going to read them the riot act.
    And my final entry, in the foreign language category is “Mah peetome?” In Israel, one expresses incredulity or shock by saying, “Ma peetome!?” (Or at least, they did, when I lived there in the mid-90s.) Literally, mah means what and peetome means suddenly, but together, they constitute a slang phrase. Often employed at the cash register, it is the Hebrew version of “Whatchu talkin’ bout, Willis?” Can also be followed by the particular disturbing element of the information. For example: “Mah peetome meah shekel?” (What do you mean, one hundred dollars?) OR “Mah peetome, ein makom?” (What do you mean, no room?) To really use it correctly, one must imbue the phrase with a deep sense of shock and offense, as if you truly believe the other person can’t possibly be serious, and are either crazy or putting you on. Very handy in haggling to let the seller know you are not going to even entertain their initial price.
    Can’t wait to read more!

  145. I am having great fun reading the comments!
    I grew up in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, and we always used the word “pank”, as in make sure you pank down the snow good when making a snow fort. If one was compressing sand to use as a base for brick pavers, they would use a “power-panker”. I only learned much later that the real word is apparently “tamp”. How boring is that?
    “Slower than molasses in January”
    “Dumber than rocks”
    My Mom’s fav – “You don’t have the good sense God gave lettuce”
    “Youse Guys” Hey, youse guys wanna go movies? a gender neutral plural – a version of Y’all. While visiting relatives in Texas I learned that some times y’all is just not enough and then they use “all y’all”.

  146. Two more from me…
    First husband’s Georgian family always used to say, “Slicker than snot on a doorknob”
    At a couple of bars my hubby and I frequent, if someone falls down they are called “sidewalk inspectors”. :0)

  147. “Running like a raped ape” – running really fast. I heard this from my husband.
    “Geez oh peats” – used in Michigan. I am not from Michigan originally, so I have no idea where it came from, but people use it all the time. It is used like oh my goodness.
    “Shit on a shingle” – my Grandfather would always say this when we asked what we were having for supper. I seem to remember reading once that there is an actual meal that is referred to by some as shit on a shingle, but I can’t remember what it is.

  148. I’m stealing this from my husband. “Take it down” is poker slang for claiming the pot. But my husband decided that it was a great multi-purpose phrase. It’s a credo, an ethos and a state of mind, depending on the context:
    – Congratulatory: You just finished a Log Cabin Moderne Blanket? Take it down!
    – Motivational: Do you have 14 people to knit scarves for between now and Christmas? Take it down!
    – Inspirational: “But I don’t waaaaant to knit 14 scarves by Christmas!” Take it down!
    And so on. Try it out…you’ll like it!

  149. “death eatin’ a cracker”; English; meaning: a person looks unwell, tired, sick, etc. as in, “He looks like death eatin’ a cracker.”
    And I’m not sure if this is slang, per se, but in my teenage years when my siblings and I started cooking up “what ifs” or potentially unlikely possibilities, my exasperated mother would respond (as her grandfather did… from Gallatin, TN): “If a cow sh*t butter, you wouldn’t need a churn!”

  150. My mom had some unusual expressions. She never swore (even saying “shut up” was forbidden in our house). One thing she said was, “What in the sam hill is that?” Or “Who in the Sam Hill is he?” Who this Sam Hill was didn’t matter. His name was invoked obviously in place of the word hell. I don’t know where that came from and I’ve only heard it a few times since mom died in the early 80s. Another one she had that I haven’t heard since we were little kids was “sit thee ruthinbachin.” That’s purely phonetic because I have no idea how it’s spelled. But it basically meant, sit down right this minute or else! It was spoken sharply by a woman who rarely spoke sharply. We sat when she said it. Mom’s family was English so it didn’t come from her heritage. Who knows…

  151. Here are a couple of my favorites:
    “Off like a prom dress”, meaning leaving quickly I’ve also heard “off like a dirty shirt”. My ex used to get them confused and say “off like a dirty prom dress”
    “You have bats in the bat cave” is a tip off that you have visable boogers
    “Little pitchers have big ears” which is what we say when you want to tip someone off that they shouldn’t say something in front of the kiddos.
    “Dumb as a box of hair”, self explanitory and I’ve seen several similar ones.
    Great contest!

  152. Down here, in the Land of Sweet Tea & kudzu, the lovely older ladies have a way of saying “Well, bless his heart!” after someone’s name is mentioned – I thought that particularly lovely & sweet for the first few years I lived down here…until I finally figured out that it’s just a much nicer way of saying “he’s sure not the brightest light on the Christmas tree…but good luck to him!”

  153. o’dark thirty (alternatively, o’dark hundred or o’dark early): military slang for early in the morning, before the sun’s come up
    meh: whatever, unexceptionable, ho-hum
    hosed: most places, it means really drunk, but at MIT, it means that you’ve got a ton of work to do

  154. British AND vaguely fiber-related:
    You don’t want to look like mutton dressed up as lamb!
    Translation: One needs to dress one’s age…

  155. Favorite last-mid-century slang: “You look like the wreck of the Hesperus!” which means you look pretty disheveled/ill/hungover.
    Favorite slang expressions from the Deep South: “You are Dancing on My LAST Nerve!” said to children of all ages who are about to be on the receiving end of a “Can of Whup.” “I’m so mad I could chew pipe” and “I’m as serious as a heart attack!” are also good.

  156. A number of Australian contributions:
    Budgie smugglers = men’s speedo costumes
    Flat out like a lizard drinking = to be busy
    My own favourite is to be ‘up yourself'(himself/herself etc)= to have an exalted view of one’s own abilities and importance… ‘I met that guy from Dancing with the Stars last night- he was definitely up himself’
    Catherine

  157. “Goat Rodeo”
    For the goat-uneducated, a couple of facts. Most are easily distracted and let’s face it, not all that bright.
    “Goat rodeo” concisely describes situations where a group of people are attempting to complete a common task, but one or more individuals are distracted by seriously unrelated activities. All the while, each individual believes they are accomplishing the common task.
    Used in a sentence – “This “insert group activity here” is a real goat rodeo.”
    Example group activities: planning just about any kind of trip with your husband and/or teenaged children, participating in some secular or non-secular event planning meetings, in business, totally abandoning previously followed, working processes, for a make-it-up-as-you-go freak-out, scattering coworkers and customers alike.

  158. There’s also, “his tongue is loose at both ends” meaning someone who talks WAY too much
    git while the gittin’s good – leave while it’s still possible to do so
    getting my swerve on – getting drunk

  159. Like to: Adverbial phrase
    means ‘Almost.’ Example: I like to pee my pants when that dog bit me.
    You know I had to pick some kind of southern slang…
    Ang

  160. My favorite two:
    Puffy Pussket – n. (That’s Puss as in cat, not yucky wound.) What you see on the frontal region of men who wear pleated dress slacks a size or two too small. Unfortunately, sometimes this can still occasionally be seen among the 1980’s pleated acid-wash jeans wearin’ group, too. Ew.
    Gorilla Muff – n. Thong underwear knit out of black fun fur. See also the Scariest Bridal Shower Gift Ever Given. Shudder.

  161. I teach at a high school in Boston and my students always use the term “salted,’ often accompanied with a hand gesture (shaking salt). I’ve actually asked about the etymology (I’m a word geek), and of course they don’t know. It seems to cover both the idea of insulted/assaulted and someone pouring salt in the wound. Basically, you’ve been put down. I love it because it’s hilarious when I try to use it and the kids all groan. I have used it properly once in a while which provokes a laugh :)

  162. fleecher: someone who poots in the bathtub and bites the bubbles.
    crawdad holes: your armpits. Don’t forget to wash your crawdad holes!
    My mom was rural, poor southern and she had a treasure trove of sayings and slang. When she was really ticked at someone she would say, “Oh cram it where it’s red and smells like cedar!” what a mental picture I get with that one!

  163. Scottish slang is great (if a little confusing when you first hear some of the phrases!):
    ‘I’ll see you the length of the bus-stop’ – I’ll walk with you as far as the bus-stop
    ‘Awa’ an bile yer heid’ (away and boil your head) – to Dundonians (people from Dundee) means, effectively, ‘P**s off’
    ‘Aye right’ – I don’t think so
    ‘Bawbag’ – again Dundonian – literally ‘ball bag’ meaning, well, a piece of male anatomy. General purpose term used as an insult, term of affection, etc
    ‘Glesgae kiss’ (Glasgow kiss) – a headbutt
    ‘Messages’ – grocery shopping, usually small bits and pieces that you’ve run out of etc.
    I could go on…..!

  164. I’m not sure these are considered slang except for the cloth, but were threats from my father when my sister & I misbehaved. These phrases were also used by other members of our chinese community and sound much more sinister in chinese.
    Translated to english:
    I’ll twist your head off.
    I’ll squish you to death.
    You dead girl/boy bag.
    Don’t be a foot-binding cloth (assumed to be used).

  165. Oops, forgot my favourite word of them all – ‘numpty’. Means someone stupid, idiotic. Generally used as an ‘affectionate’ insult.

  166. From the mountains of Western NC (which might as well be Tennessee…), I give you my favorite slang:
    “crookeder than a dog’s hind leg”
    As in, “I didn’t follow Kay’s directions and now the edges of my 4-inch square are crookeder than a dog’s hind leg”
    cheers!
    Cassidy

  167. We have a bunch of slang in Maine, though the one’s I usually use are “wicked” as a word to elevate something to a higher meaning, like wicked bad for that food in the back of the fridge that I can no longer identify.
    Winter is coming, so we have many ways to describe the weather/temperature, as it will be the highlight of our days for the next four months.
    A little nippy = put on a sweater, it’s 35 degrees
    The frost is on the pumpkin = It’s a wicked cold morning, you better start your car early
    It’s colder than a witch’s tit = my nostrils froze together when I dared to breath outside without wearing a mask
    It’s blowin’ a gale = really, really windy
    Gonna be a humdinger = big nor-easter coming, don’t plan to leave home tomorrow
    There are many more, even some that don’t apply to weather!

  168. This is a very unique slang…only for a very select group of folks who have special ed children, work with special ed children, teach special ed children. I would say our category is “Slang used in the face of tribulation”
    We say: “Are we I.E.P.ing today?”
    or “When will we be I.E.P.ing next”
    (Independent Educational Plan(ning))
    I know it isn’t witty or sassy but in the thick of our special ed driven lives that often feel more challenging than fun it gives us a chuckle…we are a weird bunch.

  169. “Slicker ‘n dog snot” Translation: really nifty, usally referring to a gadget.
    “Nervous as a wh*re in church” Translation: Guilty and afraid of being caught.
    “Fishlips” usage “Hey, there fishlips, knock it off”. Usually in our family this is said to a misbehaving child but I am not sure of the definition.
    “take a long walk off a short pier” or “go jump in the lake” Translation: get lost.
    “Catastrastroke” Translation: over reaction to imagined catastrophe. Example:”Mom will have a catastrastroke when she finds out you ripped your jeans again!”
    “Have a cow” Translation: get really upset. Example: “Dad’s gonna have cow when he finds out you dented the car!”
    This is great fun!

  170. A few of my favorites – not sure if they’ve been mentioned with all these coments!
    “I have to find a time machine.” – meaning “I have to find an ATM” from back when they all had the letters TYME on them (Take Your Money Everywhere)
    Bubbler – wisconsin name for a drinking fountain
    Stop and Go Lights – obvious
    and Puketastic – my personal favorite. When something is so god awful lookin it deserves special recognition in achieving such awfulness.

  171. Did I miss “Don’t get your panties in a wad?” Or what my Mom used to say for poor people with an attitude: “They don’t have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out.”

  172. “and Bob’s your uncle!” Meaning thats that!! Also, I married a man from Wisconsin. They have their own little language there and of course the accent! So “Ya Hey d’er!” meaning yes and hi!

  173. I have a friend who says “if it ain’t one thing it’s thirty”…which seems to fit a lot of bills. thanks, mary in Cincinnati

  174. I have a friend who says “if it ain’t one thing it’s thirty”…which seems to fit a lot of bills. thanks, mary in Cincinnati

  175. When I used to leave off sentences at “so…”, my dad would wait a beat, and say “Buttons on your underwear.”
    Usually I didn’t even realize I had said “so” (let alone “sew”), so it took me awhile to figure it out.

  176. SUCKTACULAR
    – I think this one speaks for itself.
    – Use as noun, verb, adverb or adjective.
    – Not recommended for children under the age of 14.

  177. Then, there’s “he could screw up a rock fight”, “he can’t act his way out of a paper bag”, “pissin’ up a rope”, “don’t spit in the wind”
    and my father always used to say “He who tooteth not his own horn, the same shall not be tooted”. Don’t think that counts as slang but I always loved it.

  178. I’ve got a collection of work-related slang for you:
    Alphabet soup. When a sentence is so full of three letter acronyms that one can no longer make sense of it, it has become alphabet soup.
    A brick. When the hardware dies and the computer won’t go, the machine has become a brick.
    “The hamster’s tired…” When you’ve been working hard all day, and your brain just won’t function anymore, my co-workers and I discuss how the hamster that runs the wheels in our head has gotten tired out and won’t run anymore.
    Slashing a plastic knife over one’s wrists is an indication that one is in a really awful meeting. It’s a slow way out, but one is probably better off dead anyway.

  179. “fix his/her little red wagon”
    Translation: You’ll be sorry you tangled with me, mister/sister.
    Seems to be a distinctly rural Wisconsin thing, or maybe distinct to my grandmother. At least, all my friends from the East Coast find it hilarious when I mutter it fiercely…

  180. For truly, it was said by herself, unto the people, that she was a Gauge Unto Herself, and the people have seen it, and borne witness. F’real.
    You KNOW how I am about the anything-dyed-with-indigo, so I’ll prolly be slingin the slang around for better ideas ’til tomorrow noon, but to start, I’ve got:
    “Pennsyltucky” – for the back-woods western portion of the state
    “Musical” – Montana term of choice for accepted-but-not-openly, not-very-hetero-gentlemen
    “Rocket Surgery” – term for something that is neither at the level of Rocket Science, nor Brain Surgery, and yet, is being approached as such
    “Shay” – a term used ONLY, but UNIVERSALLY, by residents of Raton, NM and their close acquaintences. Akin to “wow!” or “cool” an expression of amazement or gravity, easily identifying the speaker as hailing from or having close ties to the northeastern corner of this most bizarre state.
    “peep” – a term used exclusively, but often, by myself, to mean, oh, just about anything. Perhaps more simple word substitution than slang, “oh, peep” can be anything from “I’m so glad!” to “I hear you on that one, sistah” to “If I have to take two more steps today, I will keel over dead” to “Oh, boy!”
    “sugarfoot” – an expression my dear, cleanmouthed mother uses as a euphemism. Used in instances when the rest of us would use words or phrases made funny by George Carlin.

  181. I’m fond of internet slang, and my favourite is rotflsc. You probably know ROTFL — rolling on the floor laughing. The SC stands for scaring cat.

  182. A few minutes ago there were 92 comments, now there are 165, I’m never gonna catch up! I’m going to keep it relatively clean here.
    Some that I grew up with-
    Slower than molasses in January.
    Rug rats : children.
    S.O.S. : s**t on a shingle; creamed chipped beef on toast.
    He/she doesn’t have the sense God gave a pissant.
    If wishes were horses beggars would ride.
    It must have been a lie! : This would be the answer anytime someone forgot what they wanted to say.
    Some from online gaming-
    Noob : a person who is new to the game/activity and is still ‘getting the hang of things’.
    Woot! : an exclamation meaning something very good has happened or a goal has been accomplished.

  183. Holy Shenanigans! The comments do flow for a contest! Just had to add one when I saw the foreign lang. note in your entry
    “Geil” – German word for “horny” or “sexually aroused”, used as “cool” or “awesome”

  184. Love handbags and all the imagery it brings to mind. Mine is actually a sentence coined by my father. WHen ever we called out “I can’t find . . . (insert lost object)” he would say “have you looked behind the mayonaisse jar”. This happened because whenever he or Mom sent us to the refrigerator on an errand (beer, soda, water, etc) we would do a cursory look and say we could not find it. Usually it was BEHIND the mayonaisse jar, the largest object in the box. It became the family expression for “have you looked behind, under, around” and not just on top. Thanks fr a good memory, Romelda

  185. i love you. still on hols and doing this from neil,s phone, hench dodgy typing, but had to comment.. knocked up is deffo ,pregnant, and fur coat no knickers is, as someone said, looks posh but is a trollop really. will send further prize for the artwork favourite that p and i can add to our repertoire. χx ps have had to stand by window to get signal!

  186. My grandmother always said, “Well, I’ll swan,” which I think meant “I declare!” I’m not sure if it’s regional or just a strange way of speaking, but it was a staple in her conversations.

  187. ALSO: I love the term “Choice!” Distinctly American and meaning “Most excellent.”

  188. My father used to say about a woman of loose morals (or an unfixed female cat) that she had round heels (the edges having been worn off long ago against the bed)
    When I lived in Southern Indiana someone referred to a junker car as a pickle beater which I never figured out.

  189. “Borrow me that” Some Minnesotans have a tendency to use borrow when they mean lend.
    Therefore:
    “Can you borrow me that pen” means “Can you lend me that pen.”
    It took me forever to figure that one out.

  190. I love colorful language. My latest favorite: “crazier than a shithouse rat”. No explanation needed.

  191. This one is pretty self-explanatory, said on a very hot, humid day. Origin: my brother the sailor’s friend from Texas.
    “It’s hotter than two rats (f-word)ing in a wool sock”
    Very appropriate for the knitting crowd, too!

  192. Bollocks
    So simple and charmingly blunt. This is a favorite of my Yorkshire forbears. Bollocks refers to the testicles of a bull.
    It can be used like bullsh*t “That movie was complete bollocks.” or it can be used to refer to the most delicate portion of male anatomy “He got properly clacked in his bollocks, couldn’t stand up straight for ten minutes!”. It can also be the bluntest of exclamations: “Bollocks! I just stepped in dog poo!”
    However, the most fun to be had with this word is when it is used around the naive – those who are not familiar with it. It is especially fun to listen to it being mispronounced – it is not bowl-locks. Americans may say ball-locks and get passably close.

  193. Growing up my favorite was built like a brick sh1thouse, which is generally a good thing (though one of my friends didn’t know what it meant and was horribly upset).
    Also, from my father, Gonka, which is used to refer to the size of a person (usually me) like one of the huge dump trucks.

  194. Bollocks
    So simple and charmingly blunt. This is a favorite of my Yorkshire forbears. Bollocks refers to the testicles of a bull.
    It can be used like bullsh*t “That movie was complete bollocks.” or it can be used to refer to the most delicate portion of male anatomy “He got properly clacked in his bollocks, couldn’t stand up straight for ten minutes!”. It can also be the bluntest of exclamations: “Bollocks! I just stepped in dog poo!”
    However, the most fun to be had with this word is when it is used around the naive – those who are not familiar with it. It is especially fun to listen to it being mispronounced – it is not bowl-locks. Americans may say ball-locks and get passably close.

  195. My late lamented mother was very colorful in her language, but the one I still use is the one I heard when we kids were hanging around the kitchen looking for food. She would tell us we were “like buzzards on a gut wagon”. Of course, there was also, “No one is more sanctimonious than a reformed whore.” Usually referring to ex-smokers. :)

  196. Sorry for the double posting! Not sure what happened there. I sure bollocksed it up, didn’t I?

  197. My fav comes from my good ol’ ma, born and bred in the U.S. of A: “If I have to come over there, you’re gonna pay for my trip.” meaning, I wore rawhide as a kid.

  198. I had picked up the term “wonky” to describe some bad knitting I’d recently done…don’t know where it came from, some knitting blog, I suppose. Then, all of a sudden and independently, the debaters on my squad (yes, I’m a debate coach) started using the exact same word with no knitting reference whatsoever.
    Eeerie. Is it in the air or something? I don’t even think they’d heard me use it, it was just suddenly the word for “odd”.
    By the by, still not seeing an address to send in squares…how am I missing it?

  199. “I’d like to yank a knot in his tail”
    Also, care of my grandmother, “You look like you just got off the boat.” Which is supposed to be an insult based on your poor choice of clothing, and she’s allowed to lob that one because, well, she did get off the boat.

  200. In Australia, if you’ve had a night on the piss at the boozer with your mates, you might find yourself driving the porcelain bus.
    (ie if you have had quite a few alcoholic beverages with your friends at the pub (bar), you will probably end up vomiting in the toilet).
    And the next day you might feel like a bucket of prawns in the sun (ie “off”).

  201. I didn’t have time to read all of the entries so I hope this one hasn’t been posted. I play steel tipped darts; when the number of points either scored or left total 69 we call it a “happy meal”!!!
    Or another variation on several entries prior: “One taco short of a combination plate”
    I’m sure you can all guess what it means!

  202. When I was growing up in Vermont, people used the exclamation Jeezum Crow. As in, “Jeezum Crow, my back hurts!”
    Also my dad used to say, as an expression of disbelief or wonder, “Holy ol’ baldy!” I never really understood it until one day, in a moment of sheer astonishment, he said slowly, “Holy old bald-headed Jesus!”
    One of my favorite pieces of VT slang is “sugar out” which means how it turns out in the end (from maple sugaring, of course)–i.e., “We’ll just have to see how it sugars out.”
    We also say, “til the cows come home,” which means as long as you want or pretty much forever. “She can ask me til the cows come home, and I won’t let her go.” And “God willing and the creek don’t rise,” meaning if things go as expected. “I’ll be here Thursday, God willing and the creek don’t rise.”
    Here in Minnesota, something expensive is referred to as “spendy”—-as in,”I like that yarn, but it’s spendy.”

  203. ‘belt up’ now an instruction to do up your seat belt, but when I was a kid it meant ‘shut up’, as does ‘shut yer cake hole’, ‘put a sock in it’, ‘give over’, ‘can it’, ‘give it a rest’.
    My favourite ‘not very smart’ would be ‘two cans short of a six-pack’, but ‘thick as two short planks’ is good, too!
    Thanks so much to the person who induced a huge giggling fit by introducing me to the term ‘tramp stamp’ – I had not heard that before and it’s brilliant! My sister, bless her heart, in a temporary fit of insanity, got herself ‘stamped’ a few years ago – I’m never going to be able to look her straight in the face again!
    The longer I sit here, the more I think of – how about ‘put that in your pipe and smoke it’! A rather old fashioned version of ‘shove it’, I suspect!
    Okay, I’m gone, I want to read what else has been posted while I was typing!

  204. I’m working with a southern construction manager out of Louisiana, and he said, “It was like putting socks on a rooster.” Huh? It means a tight fit. I guess roosters’ socks would require a tight fit. It’s almost like a knitting reference!

  205. Great contest!! here’s my “tupence worth”
    “Rattle your dags” as in a command to hurry up. Translation means as in the noise a sheep would makes as it runs and its dags rattle.
    “in like a robber’s dog” very keen to particpate.
    Cheers from downunder

  206. wonky = not straight – a line can be wonky, Winnie The Pooh’s spelling is ‘wonky’, a stack of Jenga block is wonky right before it falls down.
    Also, if you like ‘wonky’ you might like ‘squiffy’, which means much the same thing, but can also mean that you had a little more to drink than you should have. If something is ‘squiffy’ then it’s not quite straight but if a person is a little squiffy then they probably shouldn’t drive themselves home! 8-)

  207. I just love the english term “ladies blouse” to describe a wimp. As in: “Don’t be such a ladies blouse.”
    Or, my 9 year old daughter’s sensitive way of referring to animal dung on a trail of a national park by using the term “evidence.” For example: “Careful Mom, don’t step in the buffalo evidence.”

  208. I just love the english term “ladies blouse” to describe a wimp. As in: “Don’t be such a ladies blouse.”
    Or, my 9 year old daughter’s sensitive way of referring to animal dung on a trail of a national park by using the term “evidence.” For example: “Careful Mom, don’t step in the buffalo evidence.”

  209. G’day Kay – Bloody beaut contest – good on ya. Thought I’d give it a burl with some Aussie ‘strine’. Books are too exy for this little Aussie battler down under, I’d dead set love to win. Gotta hit the frog and toad and get back to work. Cheers

  210. Sorry so many, but I was reading along and kept thinking of more and more and more…
    Unique slang:
    stoptional – an optional stop sign, such as in a mall parking lot – courtesy of Rich Hall’s Sniglets (words that should be words but aren’t). Hubby & I are the only ones I know who say this.
    In the same spirit, my mom & invented “overfrill” when I was a teen (before I heard of Rich Hall) – meaning overly frilly (a la “overkill”)
    good lord ‘n’ butter (or, good lord ‘n’ butter, mort) – expression of surprise from Berkely Breathed’s Outland comic strip – I am the only person I know who actually says this (more’s the pity)
    more’s the pity – just while we’re at it – means a darn shame
    give it a good X – means do “X” well – (“Give it a good scrub” means “scrub it well”; give it a good frogging” means “frog it thoroughly”).
    From SE Michigan, where I grew up:
    A 40-footer – someone who only looks good from 40 feet away.
    Wherever “-tucky” – an area populated with people you think are inferior (where I grew up it was “Taylortucky.”)
    Egypt – farther away than preferred (“I can’t believe I had to park in Egypt.”)
    Brits have THE BEST slang. My fave Britishisms:
    snogging – British for making out (I never actually say this)
    “don’t get your knickers in a twist” – British for “calm down”

  211. My favorites:
    Wingnut, as in “Well he was a total wingnut who ended up in the e room with his wang in a soda bottle….” Stupid insane in otherwords.
    Box of Rocks or box of Ritz crackers, single digit IQ
    And Stupidity licence. lottery ticket or speeding ticket.
    In our town we have a mobile traffic camera mounted on the back of a GMC Jimmy so you hear of people being “Flashed by Jimmy” which means that they will be getting a speeding ticket in the mail.
    the train goes through tow in three different directions so the common slang excuse for being late is “I got trained”

  212. Slang phrase: Losing my religion.
    Sample use: I was so gol-darned mad at Earle yesterday I was THIS CLOSE to losin’ my religion.
    The definition as explained to my by my sweet mother: When somebody has irritated you so bad you have been forced to act in a way that would go against your good Methodist (or Baptist/Lutheran/Episcopal/Presbyterian/Evangelical/whatever demonimational) upbringing. Also known as having a hissy fit.

  213. My bro always has good expressions but one of my favourites is “he’s/it’s dead from the ass both ways”…iow…not much going on in that head/ or body!! I use it more and more all the time as I get older..less tolerance perhaps???
    I have l.o.v.e.d. reading all the comments and entries. I am sure mine is no winner but this is fun for sure!!

  214. In our family, you don’t go out and buy junk food, you go out to buy “pogey bait”. It’s a military term for non-issue food, but it was used regularly in our house by my Marine-brat mom. Only after one of my friends raised her eyebrows at me recently did I realize that pogey bait wasn’t regular part of everyone’s vocabulary, lol.
    And oh my gosh, I just Googled the term pogey bait to make sure my idea that it was a military term wasn’t totally off-base, and I found this:
    “The Marines in China before WW II were issued candy (Baby Ruths, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) as part of their their ration supplements. At the time, sugar and other assorted sweets were rare commodities in China and much in demand by the Chinese, so the troops found the candy useful for barter in town. The Chinese word for prostitute, roughly translated, is “pogey”. Thus, Marines being Marines, candy became “Pogey Bait”.”
    HAHAHAHAHA I love it.

  215. From the foreign language of sporting metaphors:
    “He’s outkicked his coverage.”
    meaning the guy is dating/married to a girl totally out of his league.

  216. Courtesy of my 9 yr old today: “He ain’t the smartest chicken in the coop” :) I have no idea where she heard that.
    My husband long ago aquired a Spanish way of greeting someone: “Ola, Ola, Radiola!” Ola is of course, hello. I think Radiola was a type of radio popular when he visited Spain on an exchange when he was 15.
    And, just because I seem to be doing family today, my 12 year old told me about this comeback she made at school. Some boys were calling her a chicken. She retorted “Unless you have a cleaver and a deep fryer on you, I don’t think I’m going to worry about that!”
    Sharp wits in my family I tell ‘ya. :)

  217. Because I should be doing better things than reading these and adding ones I haven’t seen. But I’m not.
    Open Mouth… – open mouth, insert foot/put my foot in my mouth/said something stupid-inappropriate-should-know-better
    Asleep at the wheel – you all know it, you catch my drift, not so much paying attention to what’s going on
    Grok – to understand – I think this comes from Sci-fi, but I just know it from usage
    What do you want, eggs in your beer? – apparently, my father-in-law’s phrase for “shaddup, kid, and quit asking for the impossible/ridiculous”
    Riding the short bus – referring to the special, shorter yellow school bus that picked up the “special” kids
    Your turkeys are done – like the little plastic gizmo that comes in your turkey with the red center that pops out when the bird has reached the proper temperature, your nipples are showing. Very high school, the turkeys.
    How do you like them apples? – Sometimes preceeded with a somewhat rhetorical “Do you like apples?” A little like “Well, whaddya know?” but with tones of “eat THAT”
    I’m just adding these because it’s too much fun. And it’s Monday. I vote for goat rodeo (like herding cats!) and catastrostroke (in the great tradition of Craftastic, Craptastic, Fabuloustic, etc.).

  218. This is a personal slang. My middle child is a wild one. Totally into extreem sports. He asks how old he must be before we allow him to ride a motorcycle flying off the handle bars like in the X-Games. And this same small child is the ultimate cuddler, yet he won’t say I love you though. So when he was 3 (he’s 4 now) he came up with “I SNAZ YOU!” I love when he wispers this in my ear. It’s rarely said out loud…most often when you’d least expect it. He is so special to me.

  219. A couple of Ulster Scots ones:
    much used by my grandfather – “I could cut a better man out of the hedge” – i.e. the individual under discussion isn’t up to much;
    a favourite of my mother’s – “S/he had a quare gunk on them” – s/he were very surprised/had a very disappointed expression. “Quare” is a general intensifier e.g. “It’s quare and cold the morning” and “gunk” is the experience of disappointment/surprise..

  220. Well, to chime in from northeast PA – youse. Sorta like ‘use’ with the emphasis on the ‘s.’ Meaning y’all.
    Skrog – truly Olympic s*x.
    “Don’t have a pot to p*ss in or a window to throw it out of” – talk about dirt poor!
    Colder than a well digger’s as* – being in mine country, that’s pretty darn cold!
    On particularly bad days at work, I was known to walk around mumbling under my breath – “box of rocks” non-stop! Didn’t even need the “dumber than a” in front for my co-workers to know what I meant.
    How ’bout busy as a one-armed paper hanger?
    And if you were sitting in tall cotton (although my father always added an “h” after the “s”) you had some dough in your pocket!
    And my dear neighbor in VA used to carry the neighbor woman (who didn’t drive) to the store.
    Oh, what fun reading the comments has been!

  221. A couple of Ulster Scots ones:
    much used by my grandfather – “I could cut a better man out of the hedge” – i.e. the individual under discussion isn’t up to much;
    a favourite of my mother’s – “S/he had a quare gunk on them” – s/he were very surprised/had a very disappointed expression. “Quare” is a general intensifier e.g. “It’s quare and cold the morning” and “gunk” is the experience of disappointment/surprise..

  222. A couple of Ulster Scots ones:
    much used by my grandfather – “I could cut a better man out of the hedge” – i.e. the individual under discussion isn’t up to much;
    a favourite of my mother’s – “S/he had a quare gunk on them” – s/he were very surprised/had a very disappointed expression. “Quare” is a general intensifier e.g. “It’s quare and cold the morning” and “gunk” is the experience of disappointment/surprise..

  223. My favourite bit of Aussie slang: “spat the dummy” meaning “got very upset.” (Like a baby spits out a dummy or soother when they are crying). Common usage: If someone asks about a person’s reaction to something the response might be “He totally spat the dummy!” Great expression!

  224. When my husband has a meeting at work he says “I have a dog and pony show this morning.” He had a friend that used to refer to meetings as “circle jerks”. Yikes! He also likes the saying “Go piss up a rope”. Of course he doesn’t say this to me. When I asked him exactly what does that mean (other than the obvious meaning of “go away”), I don’t remember getting a clear answer.
    I asked a few friends while picking up my children this afternoon and got these two: “Worthless as tits on a bull.” and “Even a blind squirrel can find a nut.”
    Francie

  225. BFE = Butt F*ing Egypt = rural town or faaaar outside of rural town = middle of nowhere = “Should we meet at Bob’s? No way, his place is out in BFE!”
    Math tax = state lottery, often used to pay for schools or public works = a tax on those not clever enough with the numbers to realize how terrifically unlikely they are to win.

  226. After seeing bumper stickers that read “Uff Da” several times, I asked a Scandanavian friend what it means. Her explanation:”It’s the involuntary sound you make when something surprises you…such as: You just found out that your friend with 19 children is pregnant again. Your first response is “Uff Da!”

  227. “sick to his pants”.
    Variation on “sick to his stomach”…but slightly more telling.
    Example usage: “George had to leave the office as he was sick to his pants.” Everyone looks at each other knowingly…..
    Derived from real-life experience (unfortunately).

  228. I have no idea how to spell the words in this yiddish expression, but my dad taught it to me many years ago and I’ve always remembered it for it’s amazing utility:
    “Nah tsum shmatta tsum tuches,” which means: He sticks to my ass like a wet rag. We’re definitely not referring to ballband dishcloths here!

  229. When on a recent trip to England, our tour leader toned down the standard British curse words of “Bloody Hell”, and always said “Blimey Heck”. I find myself saying it now.

  230. Bingo wings??? You mean that phenomenon otherwise known as Nancy Reagan Underarm Dingle-Dangle? That’s my entry. If I can think of another I’ll send it right along.

  231. he’ll have your “guts for garters” … this is British. It means basically, you’ll be in the deepest “doo-doo” that you’ve ever been in. I believe it’s British military,meaning sort of like, we’ll pull out your innards and use them to hold up our hosiery! I used it the other day to warn someone at the LYS where I work, who had left a big pile of yarn at the top of the basement steps at the end of the day (a big no-no)..”you’d better put that yarn away or so and so(person working the next day) will have your guts for garters”.
    cathy
    oh and by the way…red up your room.

  232. “Hud yer wheesht!” It means a forceful ‘be quiet’ in Scottish slang.

  233. Has anybody already added “Don’t get your knickers in a twist”, meaning don’t get so upset, or stay cool.

  234. “Put that in your smipe and poke it!”
    Trans: Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

  235. When I was in London and my friend goes “I hate it when they just light up fags on the street, like no one cares!” I almost died. Then I found out “fags” are cigarettes!

  236. jeet?
    no, jew?
    meaning:
    did you eat?
    no, did you?
    ***********
    where uze gone?
    where are you all going? uze =you
    cheese wit
    cheese wit-out
    cheese steak with onions?
    cheese steak with out ( when ordering a cheese steak)
    philly talk , now uze can tawk like us
    love the contest!!!
    peace&blessings
    a fan from philly

  237. Okay………. but YOU ASKED!!!!!! :)
    She’s wishing her tits were northbound!
    Meaning: The woman in question clearly has an undergarment that is laying down (or south) on the job. A bit saggy and draggy—- or it has an alternate meaning of being a little cranky. As in, “that lady at the teller window is a *B*, she’s clearly wishing her tits were northbound!”

  238. A favorite from my grandmother – “why don’t you just throw my hat in the creek [pronounced crick]” meaning, “why don’t you just ruin it for me.”

  239. Phone grope. This expression refers to the slightly obsessive compulsive behavior of patting onself down, checking pockets, etc. to be sure one has one’s cell phone before leaving the house.

  240. The one around here is to describe someone undeserving or VERY lucky as “fell in the outhouse and came out smellin’ like a rose”

  241. Ok, I thought of a couple more.
    Someone who is ill or hungover can look/feel ‘like hammered shit’.
    Driving all over hell and half of Georgia means you’ve taken a wrong turn or it’s a long way to go.
    That went over like a fart in church. Um, you’re probably in trouble.
    My sister and I say we need to get our shit in one sock rather than our ducks in a row or our act together.

  242. Ok, I thought of a couple more.
    Someone who is ill or hungover can look/feel ‘like hammered shit’.
    Driving all over hell and half of Georgia means you’ve taken a wrong turn or it’s a long way to go.
    That went over like a fart in church. Um, you’re probably in trouble.
    My sister and I say we need to get our shit in one sock rather than our ducks in a row or our act together.

  243. My two favorites:
    I asked a retired judge what he’d been up to since I hadn’t talked to him in quite a while; his reply: “I been busier than a 3-peckered goat!”
    A former boss was Iranian and never quite got the hang of English slang described our none-to-bright receptionist: “It’s such a pretty house and it’s a shame no one lives in it!” I’m pretty sure he meant “the lights are on but no one’s home”, but his description was MUCH better!

  244. My two favorites:
    I asked a retired judge what he’d been up to since I hadn’t talked to him in quite a while; his reply: “I been busier than a 3-peckered goat!”
    A former boss was Iranian and never quite got the hang of English slang described our none-to-bright receptionist: “It’s such a pretty house and it’s a shame no one lives in it!” I’m pretty sure he meant “the lights are on but no one’s home”, but his description was MUCH better!

  245. One of my faves: “Your Daddy was no glass maker”. It means simply “Get out of the way, I can’t see through you.”

  246. My mom always says
    ” Colder than a witches tit!”
    which needs no explanation and when we were being especially difficult we were,
    “a fart in a mitten”
    My own kids love that one.

  247. Ok, so this is sort of personal slang…
    I tend to call houses with a lot of…questionable “lawn art” “skookum.” This is because the road I took to get to my college biostation – in the back of beyond – was named Skookum, and happened to have quite a lot of the aforementioned “lawn art” on display.

  248. I like the “big room”, for those of us who spend too much time in our offices and cubbies, referring to that place outside with the big blue ceiling and that bright yellow light that moves during the course of the day.

  249. I am a displaced Okie (born and bred in Oklahoma) married to a Jersey Boy and living in NJ. I teach 6th grade in central New Jersey. I told a boy in class to “Stop being a Bossy Britches!” His shocked expression was priceless. I had to explain that britches are pants and that I had not called him a female dog!
    Another favorite, my Grandad and Momma always said “It’ll git well before ya git married!” when I got hurt. This one really annoys my 8 year old son.

  250. Regional Weather Category:
    Up north, we have 9 months of winter and 3 months of tough sleddin.’
    Not Feeling So Hot Category:
    I felt like (or “you look like”) nine miles of bad road.
    (What is it about the number nine? Number nine? Number nine? Turn me on, Deadman…but I digress!)

  251. Two more entries, both rather politically incorrect.
    “Sweating like a pregnant nun at high mass” to be very nervous and in a tight situation as in “When Daddy caught me sneaking in at 3 am I started sweating like a pregnant nun at high mass.”
    “Drink the Kool-aid” to follow blindly without question, reference to Jim Jones and the People’s Temple as in “Shirley votes the same way her parents did. She drank the Kool-aid a long time ago.”

  252. “you’ll never see it on a trottin’ horse!”
    (basically, the little annoying things in life, don’t really matter in the whole scheme of things)
    old-timey new england farm expression.

  253. Here’s another couple I remembered:
    “I’ve known himr since he was just a twinkle in his daddy’s eye” meaning you’ve know him FOREVER!
    “Dumb as a box of rocks and ugly as a sackful of hammers” which was how my brother described his first wife.
    “I’m so hungry my stomach thinks my throats been cut”, what my dad said when he was REALLY hungry!

  254. Rattle your dags! Australian English meaning ‘get a move on’. It refers to the sound that dried dags (matted lumps of wool and excreta around a sheep’s rear end) make when sheep run.
    Also Australian:
    Noah = shark, rhyming slang from Noah’s ark.
    Drongo = an idiot, from the name of a horse in the 1930s which consistently ran last. Also, spangled drongo = an idiot with extra idiocy.
    Flat out like a lizard drinking = very busy.
    A few kangaroos in the top paddock = not exactly sane.
    bluey = someone with red hair.
    to be off like a bride’s nightie = to move very quickly.
    to go off like a frock in a sock = to go very well.
    full up to dolly’s wax = very full of food (i.e. to the part where a cloth doll’s wax head joined the body).

  255. I almost forgot the slang my younger brother uses to describe concrete statuary of questionable taste(kissing frogs, swan flower planters, deer, bears, etc); he calls them “Lawn Turds”!

  256. Shui
    Noun
    Derived from “Feng Shui”
    Meaning: Junk, clutter, items to donate to a worthy cause and never be seen again.
    Based on a book (since lost to this family) which claimed to simplify our lives through Feng Shui. We got through the first part of the first chapter, mainly consisting of throwing away useless belongings and clearing out the junk from the house. Although we never were able to fully embrace the feng shui ideals, we have recoined “shui” as a term from the first step of this process.
    Can also be used as a verb: “I’m going to shui the sewing room this afternoon, so bring me the big garbage bags.”

  257. Okay, here ya go:
    1. “All y’all” I grew up in PA, but I’ve lived in the South for a while now. I don’t know if this is a Southern thing, a North Carolina thing, or a Raleigh thing. Y’all technically means, “you all” as in more than one person. However, around here I hear people refer to one person as “y’all” and more than one person as “all y’all.” So, “are y’all gonna go?” would mean “are YOU going to go?” and “are all y’all gonna go?” would then be “are all of you going to go?” Cracks me up. “All y’all.” Ha.
    2. “Tomando mi pelo” Spanish, literal translation is “taking my hair.” It’s the equivalent of ‘pulling my leg.” I don’t know why that always stuck in my mind. I guess the visual of it seems funny to me.
    3. “Ass clown.” An idiot. Unfortunately, I don’t get to use this one enough.
    4. To continue the Pennsylvania references…”Pee-Ay”. As in PA, the abbreviation for the state. The only state in the nation to refer to itself by it’s postal abbreviation. I have to admit, I still say it.

  258. Okay, here ya go:
    1. “All y’all” I grew up in PA, but I’ve lived in the South for a while now. I don’t know if this is a Southern thing, a North Carolina thing, or a Raleigh thing. Y’all technically means, “you all” as in more than one person. However, around here I hear people refer to one person as “y’all” and more than one person as “all y’all.” So, “are y’all gonna go?” would mean “are YOU going to go?” and “are all y’all gonna go?” would then be “are all of you going to go?” Cracks me up. “All y’all.” Ha.
    2. “Tomando mi pelo” Spanish, literal translation is “taking my hair.” It’s the equivalent of ‘pulling my leg.” I don’t know why that always stuck in my mind. I guess the visual of it seems funny to me.
    3. “Ass clown.” An idiot. Unfortunately, I don’t get to use this one enough.
    4. To continue the Pennsylvania references…”Pee-Ay”. As in PA, the abbreviation for the state. The only state in the nation to refer to itself by it’s postal abbreviation. I have to admit, I still say it.

  259. They are “so tight that their socks go up and down when they blink”, meaning they might be a bit miserish in the money department.

  260. “Duck Boo”
    A phrase my sister and I have. It means both f*&% you and Love you. A perfect phrase for sister, eh! We say it in a very saccharine sweet voice to each other. I can’t wait for Thanksgiving to see her again.

  261. I grew up in the Middle East as an expat and my favorite slang was mafi mushkila (I don’t know how to spell it in Arabic) which means “no problem”. I use it still, every day.

  262. Great contest–it’s been fun reading all the comments!
    My honey’s latest favorite saying is “Don’t harsh my mellow,” meaning don’t spoil my good mood. It comes from west coast 90’s drug slang apparently, and I think it sums things up nicely.

  263. Here’s a Southern saying: “That boy’ll f*&% a woodpile on the off chance there’s a snake in there.” Used to describe a pathological ladies’ man.

  264. Living on the bleeding edge. – Geek Speak. Meaning you have so much beta technology on your computer it hurts.

  265. Living on the bleeding edge. – Geek Speak. Meaning you have so much beta technology on your computer it hurts.

  266. I grew up being called a “blatherskite” by my mother. This term is used to describe all chatterboxes in the family. Strangely, I recently found blatherskite listed in an article describing sadly extinct words. Not so extinct in my family. Has anyone else heard this used?
    And one that’s all mine: Have a friend who continually corrects your grammar? Call her ‘pedantive’ and watch her twitch…

  267. British: “chav”, referring to a young woman of lower or lower-middle class origins who has social pretensions. The character Rose on the last go around of “Dr. Who” can be considered chav. (This is about as Brit as it gets, I think!)

  268. This is from a gentleman from Uvalde, Texas:
    “I ain’t bird-turdin’ ya!”
    Translation: No Shit.

  269. OK, are you seriously going to read all 267 of these comments? Wow. That’s going to seriously cut into knitting time.
    Well then, here’s my favorite slang-ish thing to say. I learned it from living in FL for about 11 years that was supposed to be 4. We lived in a part of FL that was more “south” than “tropic”, if you know what I mean. Think barefoot and trailer park. What I learned there was that you can say ANYTHING about a person, and if you say “Bless his/her heart” with it, no one will think you said anything bad. Like, “Bless her heart, she couldn’t find her house if she was standing at the front door.” See?

  270. Does it count if it is slang I just made up? I’ve begun inventing crafting/homemaking slang to use around the office as an estrogen counterbalance to the never ending sports metaphors.
    My current favorite is “cracking month-old eggs”, which means doing a particularly bad, or half-hearted, job. (The estrogen equivalent of the manly “punting”.) It is derived from the Joy of Cooking souffle recipe, which calls for *new* eggs.
    It hasn’t quite caught on yet, but I’ve been working it into conversation.

  271. My favorite slang:
    – My grandparents refered to creamed dried beef on toast as “sh*t on a shingle”.
    – I grew up on a farm. My younger brother’s work boots were his “sh*t stompers”.
    – When I lived on Catalina Island, going to mainland southern California was to go “overtown”.
    – “the double barrel” i.e. the outhouse

  272. “Party store”. I have only heard this in Michigan and it makes people out East laugh at me when I use it. It is a store where you buy beer and chips not birthday hats and streamers! We even have drive thru party stores.

  273. I am a follower of the philosophy of The More Syllables, The Better, which once resulted in:
    “Sweet Baby Deep-Fried Jesus on a Stick!”
    This is too long for everyday use and has been shortened to “Deep-fried deity!”
    Dead useful, that.

  274. My favorite slang is not really a single word, but rather a technique for making your own slang. A roommate of mine in college insisted on shorting almost any word to only its first one or at a maximum two syllables. For example: “I have to go work on my biology paper” becomes “I have to go work on my biology pape (rhymes with grape.” “Ridiculous” becomes “ridic.” It’s especially amusing with words that aren’t really that long (see example of paper above) and hence don’t really require abbreviation. But hey, we’re all busy peeps nowadays. ;)

  275. My favorite slang word is craic (pronounced crack), it’s Irish slang and it means to have a good time or looking for some fun. It would be used thusly: “We’re looking for some craic” or “Where’s the craic tonight?” It’s actually hilarious to use it, especially when it means one thing in Ireland (and they use it A LOT!) and here it means something completely different.

  276. My favorite slang word is craic (pronounced crack), it’s Irish slang and it means to have a good time or looking for some fun. It would be used thusly: “We’re looking for some craic” or “Where’s the craic tonight?” It’s actually hilarious to use it, especially when it means one thing in Ireland (and they use it A LOT!) and here it means something completely different.

  277. “Get on the stick” — to get going, get moving. As I kid I unwittingly combined this with “hit the road” and came up with “Hit the stick!” — which my family still uses.
    From high school: “It’s nipply out.” — used in when it’s chilly, for obvious reasons.
    In a similar vein, I once had a friend who always said: “Tough titty.” Meaning, too bad, tough luck, etc — in an unsympathetic sense. I believe the full phrase was — “Tough titty, said the kitty, but the milk’s still good.”

  278. I was a little sleepy during early practice one morning when one of my athletes looked at my wan face and said:
    “Aw, chin up Charlie! You’ll find that golden ticket!”

  279. “outside”-for us Alaskans, it means the lower 48 states, i.e. the continental U.S.

  280. Well, slap my ass and call me Sally!
    If I don’t stop reading this nonsense and laughing my head off, I’ll have to call in sick tomorrow!

  281. I have to second the craic…as in “the crack was mighty in the isle of man” or “what’s the crack….”
    But in the interest of individuality I’ll quote on of my spouses cousins, who is a farmer in the middle of Ireland.
    “Git up ta f*$&! He copped the tracther in da shook wid all dad foothering around! Most hit de keeyat on de keeyar. For f&$k’s sake!”
    Translation:
    Listen to me! He tipped his farm vehicle into the ditch because he was not paying attention. He nearly drove over the cat who was sitting on the car. How could he be so stupid?
    Cannot wait to read all these….

  282. While living as an expat I loved it when my Australian friends there would say “it’s a dog’s breakfast”- meaning a real mess.

  283. What fun this is!
    One I like that I don’t hear often from other people: “Bob’s your uncle”. Said after explaining how to do something, meaning “and then you’re all set”. For example, “Put some peanutbutter on one slice of bread, some jam on another, put the pieces together, and Bob’s your uncle.”

  284. “Sail cat” — roadkill that has been run over so many times that you could peel it up and throw it like a Frisbee. Where I grew up (southern Illinois), this term has been used since, well, ‘way before there were Frisbees.
    “Well, shit fire and die.” An expression of mild surprise, used ironically. What you say when your beaming kindergartner shows you the sail cat he’s going to start his museum with. An Arkansan or Missouri bootheel accent helps.

  285. What a contest!!
    My favorite slang comes from the south. When I moved there many years ago, someone asked me to “carry them to town.” I didn’t understand and had to be told that they wanted a ride to town.
    My husband is from New Zealand and a few of his are:
    Mate- meaning a friend
    Bloke – A guy
    and my fav. from New Zeland – cheeky meaning a tease.

  286. My very proper grandmother had a phrase that always made my laugh. If she fell or slipped, she would say, “And then I went ass over teakettle.”
    My dad has so many Eastern Canada phrases, but my favorite is, “Whatever blows your skirt up!” which is closely related to, “whatever floats yer boat.”

  287. My great-grandmother apparently had a knack for bastardizing Yiddish terms, and my mother picked up some of the terms without realizing it and worked them into our family language. Thus, we got the following semi-Yiddish slang terms:
    Shmutz: gunk that you get on your clothing or face, sometimes after you eat; it’s usually dried or caked on
    Fluckeness: mysterious fluffy stuff that flies through the air and occasionally gets caught in your hair; distinguished from shmutz only by consistency
    We’re not sure if these are derived from actual terms or if they were entirely invented, but they’ve become part of my family’s vocabulary. In fact, I knew my husband (then boyfriend) was ready to become part of the family when he was able to distinguish between shmutz and fluckeness.

  288. How about “knock it off or I’ll drop your laundry right here!” meaning stop the behavior or you’ll get a bare-a** spanking.
    from Central PA “underground farmer” – coal miner
    “My dawgs are barkin'” = my feet really hurt
    “Put a quarter in it” = hurry up!
    “Tuck the ruffles back in your panties” = generally said to a male meaning “just suck it up and do it.”
    Fun contest!

  289. One of my current favorites comes from the college-age daughter of one of my co-workers. The TA in her physics class is from India, and one day told them that the concept they would be discussing would be “Easy. Like the cake!”
    Another one that I like is “This is an A & B conversation, C your way out!”

  290. In the coffee category, my favorite is “a shot in the dark” – shot of espresso poured into a cup of black coffee.

  291. My favorite comes from my 16 yo sister. Her best insult is always “your face!” I like to take it as a compliment, just to get her goat. Oh there’s another.

  292. I’m fond of the Newfie ‘What are you at?’ meaning how’s it going? Pronounced more like ‘whattaya at?’, this is not a time to be all prim and proper with the enunciation.
    I love how so many of these phrases are kind of like a secret handshake; you hear someone say something and you know you’ve found a kindred spirit.

  293. Crispy Crap = Shoot, via my friend Tina. And from my mother “I have to pee like a race horse”. Which I never really understood as a kid, but now know it mean you have to go bad, and quick! :)
    Now I’m going to scroll the answers because I know there are some good ones in here.

  294. I thought of one more, from my friend Cornbread in Georgia. It’s hotter than a witches tit in a brass bra – it’s really hot.

  295. “You know what they say about people in Jersey: too cheap to own a good cow, too proud to own a goat.”
    “’tis no pool, but ’tis a right good bahn you’ve got theah.'” New England dismissal.
    “It’s a horse a piece.” A version of six of one half dozen of the other.
    “And it’s Nelly bar the door!” Get ready, [something bad]‘s coming!

  296. My favorite use of slang in our house lately (to explain this I must admit that my husband and I “talk” for our dogs — we have little pretend conversations with them):
    Dog: Um, Dad, it’s cold outside. Will you please knit me a dog sweater?
    Spouse: You’re barking up the wrong tree buddy.*
    Dog: Barking? Tree? Dad? You’re people. I don’t get it.
    *Barking up the wrong tree = asking the wrong person or looking for something in the wrong places.

  297. slang–that is a great “gig”—not regional–but particular to all the folk musicians I know
    (gig = job)

  298. A woman I work with, when exasperated, is known to shout out, “Jeeza Mannetti!”
    And my favorite term of frustration is “crimeanola!” a derivation of “criminey”.

  299. A woman I work with, when exasperated, is known to shout out, “Jeeza Mannetti!”
    And my favorite term of frustration is “crimeanola!” a derivation of “criminey”.

  300. “Strung tighter than a frog’s hair split three ways” – means “stressed out.” Heard from a friend from Arkansas. Carries the most meaning when said with a Southern drawl.

  301. bags of mice = bingo wings

  302. “Scarcer than hen’s teeth.” (rare)
    “How’s your Mom an’ them?” (How is your family?)
    “Sha (Cher) Baybay (bebe’)” (What an adorable little baby! usually with a sharp intake of breath)
    “Save the dishes” (Put the dishes away.)
    “You want to get down?” (Do you want to get out of the car and go inside?) Got my brother nearly slapped on a date at Davidson College in N.C. once…
    All of these are native to South Louisiana, Cajun Country.

  303. My grandmother’s “Oh my stars and garters!” Which I’m trying to use to supplant a much more graphic and crass cursing (including, but not limited to, the arcane “crap!” or some variation of same) since I now have impressionable young grandsons within hearing distance.
    And thank you. I’m glad to know that my method of decreasing is acceptable! *wink*
    (((Hugs)))

  304. My daughter’s ex-father (I guess that’s an expression, too, although I mean it pretty literally) always had some colorful expressions, I’ve seen two of them already:
    Worthless as tits on a boar hog.
    Busy as a 3 peckered billy goat.
    If a frog had wings it wouldn’t bump it’s ass when it hops. (You want an awful lot, don’t you?)
    These aren’t exactly slang, but my daughter said these totally straight faced when she was in 6th grade. ‘You don’t want me to do it half fast, do you?’ ‘I don’t like her, she’s a goody tissues.’

  305. I tried to read them all, and here are my slangs for consideration:
    A half bubble off plumb (contractor speak).
    My mother-in-law would “het up” leftovers (warm up).
    Children of different sizes are categorized as “ankle biters” (infants, crawling up to 18 months), “curtain climbers” (toddlers learning to walk 10 months to 3 years), “snot lickers”(preschoolers, 3-5 year olds).

  306. My favorite southernism is: “It’s comin’ up a cloud” to indicate that bad weather is on the way.

  307. I like “whatever melts your butter” not sure where from.
    I’m an ex-Aussie, but I fondly remember:
    “beauty, mate” as a general positive comment, or greeting
    “keep your head on” ie calm down
    “spit the dummy” meaning have a hissy fit – a dummy being a baby’s pacifier; it’s a great little put down, as in, “don’t spit the dummy, mate, it’s just an idea”, or, “all I did was tell her it was mate’s night and she really spat the dummy”
    “chockablock” or “chockers” as in “sorry it took me so long, the bridge was chockers” ie crowded, jammed with traffic.
    I could go on, obviously.

  308. How do ya like them apples?

  309. So what’s the record for number of comments on MDK?
    Growing up down South I picked up “frosts my muffins” which means, pisses me off. As in: “Dang it, someone already said, colder than a witches titty–that really frosts my muffins!”
    One morning I showed up hung over to a French class in Paris and my teacher taught me this slang expression for a hangover “avoir la gueule de bois” literally, to have a wooden mouth.

  310. I like the Yiddish “Verklempt,” meaning extremely emotionally distraught or on the edge of tears.
    Also: “Slicker than deer guts on a doorknob,” which is probably self explanatory;
    and “She’s going to be so [surprised/angry/shocked] she’ll s*** a brick sideways.”

  311. My personal favorite slang is “Let’s circle up the wagons” meaning let’s pause and come up with a plan

  312. My personal favorite slang is “Let’s circle up the wagons” meaning let’s pause and come up with a plan

  313. “Du kannst mir mal den Ruecken runterrutschen!”
    German. Literal meaning is utter nonsense: you can slide down my back; it means “just go to h*ll.”
    Whatever makes your cookie crumble: whatever makes you happy.
    She’s not the brightest light on the porch: not a very smart person.
    That’s a whole ‘nother can of worms / bowl of fish: that’s another matter
    –Thanks for the contest, this had been fun reading.
    And I too would appreciate the address for the squares.

  314. How’s she cuttin?
    Irish, meaning how are things going with you?
    My sisters fave saying and she lives in Greece, can you imagine what they are thinking
    cheers

  315. Here in Pa we have lots of Pa. Dutch expressions as in the saying redup which means to clean up or make tidy. “You had better redup the living room before mom gets home.”

  316. I currently live in the South and one of my favorite slang/expressions is “come to Jesus”. This can be used in all sorts of manner, as in “She has gone too far this time. We are going to have a come to Jesus talk.” Or “They were having a come to Jesus moment” (i.e. a real serious moment).
    My other favorite slangish thing is what my best friend started and we have tried to subtly inject into common language. The expression “sad pants.” As in, “I am sad pants that I missed your call.” Or “sad pants” as in that sucks.

  317. My friend K, describes sex as the
    “vo-dee-oh-doh”

  318. “Down East” in NC – on the coast past Beaufort, they say “mommicked” meaning all messed up. In context “Willie caught his hand in the lawnmower and lawd is it mommicked!” Or my dad used to say on the boat “Careful that you don’t mommick up my lines!” It works nicely in place of the the “f word”!

  319. I just thought of one…when someone says bullcrap in response to something they don’t agree with (in place of bullshit) someone says “bulls do crap”. It’s pretty funny.

  320. I just thought of one…when someone says bullcrap in response to something they don’t agree with (in place of bullshit) someone says “bulls do crap”. Pretty funny!

  321. Goodness, there are so many! I think I am gonna go with a family phrase “I have the cremblies” Which is to describe when you feel all antsy, uptight and nervous about a situation… like you can’t sit still.

  322. Mine is a French one. When you are feeling down or have the blues, you say, “J’ai le cafard.” It literally translates as “I have the cockroach.”
    Bon soir!!

  323. Secret Slang: My life-long best friend and I just came up with the phrase “Wiggle With It!”. During a marathon phone conversation. I’m pretty sure we were trying to be cool and say something like “jiggy with it” but Wiggle With It came out instead. Wiggle With It has now become our mantra, to remind us no longer skinny gals, that you just have to wiggle right through the day sometimes, just wiggle around those obstacles thrown in your path, and as long as you keep wiggling, you’ll have fun! So, WIGGLE WITH IT!

  324. Posting again to tell my favorite English phrase. It’s really more of a play on words, but I looooove the term “suicide blonde.” It’s when a woman has dyed her hair blonde at home, and it’s a play on the phrase “dyed by her own hand.”

  325. kwitcherbitchin -> stop bitchin’!!!
    we southerners like to make our slang as consice as possible!

  326. oh and another favorite: Put your big girl panties on and DEAL WITH IT! meaning stop whining and shut up. haha!

  327. I’ve always liked the phrase, “Like the south-bound end of a north-bound donkey”, meaning ugly.
    I’m going to have to steal “bingo wings”. : )

  328. ‘Slicker ‘n’ spit': Really cool
    Narf: From my shop teacher, generally used as a term of exasperation. IE: “Mr. A, I can get this experiment to work!” “Narf!”
    ‘Shiny': Really nifty or cool. Or just very good at reflecting light in differant directions.
    ‘Whoaly snap': A version of ‘holy crap’ that will not get you smacked by your mother for using bad language.
    ‘Dot, dot, dot.” The response used when your friend says/does something outrageous and you don’t really know what to say. IE: “Oh, aren’t these neon pink fluffy bunny rabbit slippers so cute?” “Dot, dot, dot.”
    ‘Beige. I think I’ll paint the ceiling beige.': A good cover-up when someone notices you inadvertantly said something that maybe could be taken the wrong way. This only works if you look up at the ceiling when your conversation partner turns to look at you after your unfortunate comment.
    ‘You know, the place with the people with the thing.': Whay you say when you can’t remember the details of a situation.
    I’m sure I have more, but I can’t remember any right now. Narf!

  329. premature evacuation
    Getting caught while sneaking away after a one night stand.
    Alternate: an early post-sex exit, i.e. before your partner is deep asleep.
    Used in a sentence:
    He hooked up with some girl last night and got busted for a premature evacuation.
    OR
    conswervative
    A conservative politician or other public figure caught doing things that he has denounced on record.
    Larry Craig is a conswervative, as is Ted Haggard.
    OR
    baby bear
    adj. – when something is “just right.” Not too hot or too cold, not too big or too small, etc.
    “Are you hungry?”
    “Naw man… I’m baby bear.”
    OR
    cafediem
    Caffeinate the day.
    To ask someone if they want a coffee, say “cafediem?”
    OK, I’ll stop now

  330. Here are some, you may already know them:
    ‘Butter my bottom and call me a biscuit’ – an expression of surprise
    ‘that’s just putting lipstick on a pig’ – trying to touch up something that’s ugly and pretend it’s beautiful
    ‘whale tale’ – a woman, seen from the back, with low-riding pants who’s also wearing thong underwear
    ‘muffin top’ – a woman, seen from the front, with low-riding pants who also has a bit of a tummy
    ‘open the kimono’ – at work, it means it’s time to present the product
    you look ‘whizzy’ – British for you look all dressed up
    ‘what can I do you for?’ – what other people say as what can I do for you?
    ‘how come?’ – what other people say as why?
    ‘calling Ralph on the great white phone’ – being sick to your stomach
    ‘couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag’ – person with no sense of direction
    ‘rattle my cage’ – remind me, nudge me
    ‘hack’ – not just to break into a computer, but also to pull off a really big prank of any kind
    Here are some personal/family ones:
    ‘huggle’ – a cross between a hug and snuggling
    you have ‘2 peanuts on a shingle’ – my great uncle telling my mom how she was unendowed
    ‘gigunda’ – really big
    ‘plotholes’ – gaps in the plot of a book
    ‘her pants were spray painted on’ – my mom saying someone’s pants are too tight
    I couldn’t stop once I started.

  331. In Telugu (spoken in Andhra Pradesh in India), we say “Antha scene ledu” meaning: Uh-huh, not bloody likely (roughly), that’s not gonna happen.

  332. My former housemate grew up in th U.K. and we worked for an U.K. based company. She had lots of interesting expressions. Some of my favs were:
    Bobs your uncle – There you have it; a catch phrase expressing satisfactory completion. E.g.”Make sure you have primed and undercoated the wood. Then apply the gloss paint and Bob’s your uncle! The wood will stay protected and look good for another couple of years.”
    f***wit – Noun. An idiot.
    skive – Noun. An evasion of one’s tasks, a period of shirking. Verb. To evade doing one’s work or duties, to truant. E.g.”Every Friday afternoon you can guarantee he’ll be skiving and getting drunk down the pub.”
    skive off – Verb. Meaning the same as ‘skive’ (verb).
    Well I’ll just skive-off now.

  333. My daughter and I have begun to call certain germaphobic or compulsive behaviors “Monkish” after our favorite OC detective.
    File under: Personal slang ;-)

  334. I meant to write
    “I’ll go to the foot of our stairs” – a term of mild surprise
    Box of frogs – ugly as in “She has a face like a box of frogs”

  335. I live in Hamburg, Germany, the city with the famous red-light district, so I thought I’d add one of my favourite German slang words: Bordsteinschwalbe. The literal translation is curb swallow and here in my beloved Hamburg it means … uh … working girl. It comes from the observation of both the birds and the ladies in their natural habitats – the edge of a roof and the sidewalk respectively – both lined up en masse and, well, chirping.

  336. “How you doing, Bobby Dazzler?”
    Written to me by a Nepalese penpal who swore it was what Canadians said to each other as in: How’s it going hot stuff?
    The strangest thing is I did see some kind of restaurant/store called Bobby Dazzler while I was in British Columbia… Hmmm…

  337. BOIN (pronounced a lot like BOING without the g) say it a few times out loud and the japanese kids will start rolling around on the ground laughing because it is slang for BOOBS.
    have you heard of japanese TEDAMA…those beautiful string wrapped decorative balls… well don’t say KIN TAMA, that would be golden balls….as in the family jewels.

  338. ‘lunch-lady arms’ = bingo wings
    ‘she’s got her thong on backwards today’ = she is really cranky today…
    ‘i’m off, like a prom dress at midnight!’ = i’m leaving now.
    ‘a tea cup and a saucer away from a full set’ = illogical, a little off

  339. As an engineer, and son of an engineer, I’ve heard quite a few slang terms there, most of which are not fit for mixed company. A good one, though, is a “bliffy”. A bliffy is precisely defined as “ten pounds of sh-t in a five-pound sack”, and means any project or system that is dangerously screwed up and may be about to explode in a messy manner.
    A favorite English slang term is “anorak”. An anorak literally is a type of jacket, like a hooded parka usually with fur around the hood. This type of jacket is worn by nerdy types, and so the term has been extended to mean the sort of person who is obsessed with small details, especially if he makes a habit of correcting everyone else over insignificant mistakes.
    A personal slang phrase I have is “Bam! Straight into Mars”. I coined this when helping a neighbor teenager who was failing algebra (and who had no one in her family who could help) to cram three months of math into the weekend before finals (which worked; she got it up to a C). It was not long after the Mars probe plowed into the planet because somebody wrote in an equation “m” meaning “meters”, and someone else read it as being for “miles”. At the time, it was specifically a reminder to check all your units and your equations for the simple mistakes. Since, it has expanded to any situation where you need to do (or failed to do) a checkover for simple errors before calling it done.
    And lastly, we use the phrase “dummy check” for the last look around before you leave somewhere, to make sure you haven’t forgetten anything. “Honey, did you do a dummy check on the hotel room?”
    =====
    Amber – the word “grok” comes from the Robert Heinlein science fiction novel “Stranger in a Strange Land”. It means to understand something on a very deep level.
    PhilB

  340. “Eating it with spoons” meaning “readily accepted, receiving an excellent response.” As in “Kay’s contest was so clever, they were eating it with spoons.”

  341. May I vote? I vote for “Uglier than homemade sin.” I am going to try and incorporate this into my slang lexicon.
    I’m currently living in Beijing and I’ve run across a couple:
    MBA – Married, but available.
    Full time wife – stay at home wife. My husband was quite startled when a coworker asked if he had a full time wife.
    I loved reading all of these!

  342. I give you one English and German;
    The ‘arse end of the universe’ means in the middle of nowhere, and not necessarily in a good way. Bognor Regis might count, for example, or some particularly desolate moor.
    The German is “Du kannst mich mal” which after 3 years in a German high school I came to realise was the closest Germans got to really swearing. The transliteration (you can me so) makes no sense, but it really means come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough, or bugger off – depending on the circumstances.
    Come to think if it, does bugger off, for please go away, count?

  343. One that I got teased for a lot when I tried to spin a tencel blend when i was just learning was that it was “slicker than snot.”

  344. One that I got teased for a lot when I tried to spin a tencel blend when i was just learning was that it was “slicker than snot.”

  345. One that I got teased for a lot when I tried to spin a tencel blend when i was just learning was that it was “slicker than snot.”

  346. A couple more Australian phrases (I must say that these particular ones are not in my usual vocab)
    “Dry as a dead dingo’s donger”
    “Closer than the hair on a mosquito’s t*t”
    Also several words that have a very different meaning here than in the US….
    root-to copulate
    fanny-female genitalia

  347. “Eating Sand” = To do something you do not like
    “Your window of society is open” = Your fly is open.
    These are things my DH says. He is Japanese.

  348. Keeping one’s lips on straight; meaning to have good luck.
    A phrase that seems to be from just the part of rural Georgia (US) where I lived for a number of years, for my husband is from Alabama and had never heard of it.
    If you find a great parking space at the mall — “I sure have my lips on straight this morning!” However, if you can’t find anything you want while shopping, then, “I sure didn’t have my lips on straight today!”

  349. oops!!! total brain fart!!!!! I totally spaced and spazzed on my comment earlier. I said tedama but I meant to say temari….. tedama is a little bean bag to juggle or toss and temari is the string wrapped thing.
    I am such a space case.
    dayum!!!! you can’t swing a dead cat around here without hitting a knitter.

  350. My favorite saying that I use to this day; when people aske me how I am, I reply,”Just ducky”. Also, very old and self-explanitory: “Your think you’re sh*t on a silver platter, but you’re just a turd on a paper plate”.

  351. When I was young, my dad used to say, “It’s colder than a witch’s t*t in a brass bra.” I thought it was sexist so I came up with the retort, “It’s colder than a warlock’s c*ck in a brass jock!”
    Fun contest. Great entries. Laughing.

  352. MY brother once explained his prowess with the girls to my mother as this: “I’m like a hot knife going through warm butter.”
    A phrase that I grew up with that is exact in it’s translation in it’s own country, but more slang to me is: “In’sha’allah”. Which means God-willing in Arabic. The arabs use it literally, I use it more causally. But I use it often. eg: I’ll get there on time, in’sha’allah. I’ll show up, in’sha’allah. Handy handy. I’ll finish my mothers #%^#%$ Christmas wrap, in’sha’allah.
    Great contest!

  353. Oh, or the one we use at the office all the time… trying to put 10 pounds of Sh*t in a 5 pound bag.

  354. Kaffufle: a whole lot of people with their “knickers in a twist.”

  355. Kaffufle: a whole lot of people with their “knickers in a twist.”

  356. Verb: Crump
    Used in medicine (where I work), it means a patient is “crashing” or taking a sudden, severe turn for the worse. Personally, I think this could be used to great advantage in knitting…”I was making the Perfect Sweater out of Red Heart, and it crumped.”
    Cheers.
    Kristi

  357. I married a Iowegian and had to get used to the Midwesternisms (which Kay should appreciate). My favorites are:
    “That doesn’t suck” the typical Midwestern usage of understatement that instead means “WOW! That’s amazing/wonderful/fabulous!”
    “Can of corn” – a very easy play in baseball ex: “He hit that ball right to me. It was a can of corn.”
    My personal favorite is “It’s like trying to get a pig to sing. Wastes your time and annoys the pig.” Useful when dealing with people who are never going to change their minds.

  358. In reply to Barbara whose Great Grandpa Charlie cleaned up the cow peeing on a rock. My father in law is a born Main-er and says “Raining harder than a two c**ted cow pissing on a flat rock” I alway thought it was just a colorful phrase until driving through Vemont and passing a cow peeing in a pasture. There was no flat rock and I assume the cow was only singularly endowed, but still impressive!

  359. Oh, and “Who pissed on your Post Toasties?” when someone is acting all mad about stuff for no good reason.

  360. Our French roommate in college taught us to say Les Anglais vont d’embarque (The British are coming) as slang for getting a period.

  361. My nickname started life as a dirty joke (with the best intentions, of course).
    Apparently I’m a “nice bit o’ crumpet”. Meaning, of course, that I am Teh Sex. ;)

  362. Hillbilly Christmas – the sorting and regifting of items from a large moving pile. AKA my mom found a great xtralarge rice cooker when her neighbors moved and saved it for my single brother because he likes rice.

  363. Oh, I just remembered another couple of my favourites, both learned from my dad, which is made all the more amusing considering that he’s a very straight-laced, reserved, quiet Catholic man.
    “It’s as useless as T on B.” (Or, “as useless as tits on a bull” in longform.)
    My other favourite was when he’d talk about his old friend and their “SB Holden”. Apparently his friend had a Holden, and he’d refer to it as the SB. One day his wife was booking it into the mechanic, and when he asked what type of car it was, she said “An SB Holden”. She’d assumed that SB was the make.
    It turns out that SB stood for Shit Box. ;)

  364. “Like a lost ball in high weeds”—the way some readers feel when they’re following the directions for making a four-inch square! :-) That’s really lost!

  365. When looking particularly rotund, I’m known to say “I look like a 10 lb sausage in a 5 lb bag”. I think maybe I heard it in Steel Magnollias? But nevermind, it tickles my mom to tears. (another bit of slang I love: tickled: when something strikes you as funny and you laugh like you’re being tickled.

  366. Bingo arms, that one is going into the lexicon permanently, joining the permanence of the feature on my anatomy I guess.
    A personal favorite slang : dekko – Australian slang for a look or glance. I like it because there are so few words that rhyme with gecko and it somehow sounds cooler than “hey take a look, wouldja?”

  367. “There’s no need to buy the cow if your getting the milk for free.” This is sage advice about premarital sex. A girl is more likely to get a marriage proposal if she is not giving the milk away for free.

  368. “Jawn”- noun: a Philadelphia word meaning anything you want it to, in the same matter as “smurf” in the 1980’s. “I was at the yarn store and I picked up this jawn for my next pair of socks.”

  369. Being an Aussie I use a lot of slang, which gets me interesting looks now that I live in Boston:
    ‘A kangaroo loose in the top paddock’ meaning not very bright in the brain department!
    ‘The verandah over the tool shed’ Male version for pot (big) belly.
    ‘Muffin top’ Female version for flesh hanging out over too tight pants.
    ‘Off like a bucket of prawns in the sun': going now . . .
    I love slang!

  370. Great competition! My english contributions to the Mason-Dixon Book of Slang are:
    “me duck” = “my dear”, as in “Are you all right, me duck?” (used in the English Midlands, usually by older people)
    ‘appen = maybe (Yorkshire)
    mithered = irritated and confused (Midlands and Yorkshire I think)
    mardy = grumpy and sulky, as in “She’s got a proper mardy on” (Midlands)
    Two versions of goodbye are “Sithee” (Yorkshire) and “Ta-ra” or even “Ta-ra-a-bit” (Midlands).
    “Where there’s muck there’s brass” meaning there is money in, well, muck I guess.
    Finally “Well strap me to a tree and call me Brenda!” is an expression of surprise often used by my other half which he tells me came from Viv Stanshall of the Bonzo Dog Doodah Band. I think it deserves wider use!

  371. Being an Aussie, I use a lot of slang, which gives me interesting looks now that I live in Boston. Here’s a couple of favourites:
    “A kangaroo loose in the top paddock” – not very bright in the brain department;
    “The verandah over the tool shed” – male version of pot (big) belly;
    “Muffin top” – female version for flesh hanging out over too tight pants/jeans.
    Well, I’m “off like a bucket of prawns in the sun” – going now . . . I love slang! Thanks!

  372. Heard in Southern Indiana:
    “There goes one of those Emerson girls” If you ask “what?”, the answer is “‘Em are some biiiiiig t*ts”.
    If going out to a bar, you try to avoid the men with “summer teeth” – some are there, some aren’t.
    Of course, we also call green peppers “mangos”. I never knew different until I got to college and said I liked pizza with everything but mangos. They thought I was crazy.

  373. My Mom’s Quebecois family always described a certain member as “two time my ‘eavy, and ‘alf my big”. I think he was short and chubby. (the Quebecois do not pronounce the h, unless it is supposed to be silent. Then they pronounce it.
    Then there’s my in-laws – even knowing my French heritage, everytime they cuss they always say “Excuse my French”. Like French is swearing. Gee thanks for that.

  374. I can’t believe TWO people got to “muffin top” before me. That one makes me giggle a LOT.
    Also in the not-quite-as-feminist-as-we-ought-to-be category is “butterface.” As in, “She’s a total butterface. She’s got a cute body, but her face . . .” To be used ONLY to refer snide tweeny salesgirls at Jasmine Sola who tell my friend they don’t sell jeans big enough for her. And even then, with a twinge of guilt.

  375. My daughter’s high school English teacher has a stock answer when she gives an assignment and the kids ask “How long does the paper have to be???” Her reply is: “As long as a decent woman’s skirt” – which means just long enough to cover the subject. I don’t know if the kids think that’s an inspired reply, but I do! Thanks for the fun contest!

  376. This is more a Star Wars reference than anything, but I often use the term “Wookiee legs” as in “I would have worn shorts but I have wookiee legs.”
    Meaning I haven’t shaved.

  377. In honor of my parents, Geri and Bob, who had a language unto themselves, I present:
    “Christ on a crutch!” from my father, who used it a term of frustration – “Christ on a crutch, why can’t you kids pipe down already?”
    and
    “Where God left his shoes…” from my mother, who used it to describe long distances, “I like that new mall, but it’s so crowded we had to park where God left his shoes.”

  378. My late father, an Irishman, was a font of funny sayings and phrases, some of which were quite regional to his area (Sligo) and town (Charlestown). I’m sure some have Gaelic origins. Some were funny sayings that came from his years here in the states:
    Smigeen — your mouth
    Lugs — ears
    Ruschke (sp?) — a slovenly woman with dyed hair.
    “You can see the cows of Mullahanoe through that.” — The sheets on the clothesline were so thin, you could see right through them.
    “That and 50 cents will get you a cup of coffee.” Useless information
    “Houses are cheap in New Guinea.” If you want to move far away, you can get a good deal.

  379. Don’t sweat the mule goin’ blind, just LOAD the wagon.
    My girlfriends psychologist husband says this. I remind my self of it, when I start to over worry. !

  380. Don’t sweat the mule goin’ blind, just LOAD the wagon.
    My girlfriends psychologist husband says this. I remind my self of it, when I start to over worry. !

  381. Fall (or fell) off a turnip truck – a reference to someone who is naive, inexperienced, or not very bright the implication being that the person landed on their head when when they fell and induced brain damage, often used in the negative. (e.g. Why did you do that son? Did you fall off the turnip truck or something. OR I may not be very smart but I didn’t fall off the turnip truck)

  382. “Oojah-cum-spiff,” which comes from P.G. Wodehouse’s Jeeves and Wooster stories, and generally means everything is pip-pip. Right-ho. You know, okie-dokie.
    And, in vaguely knitting related slang, “Revenons a nos moutons” which translates literally as “Let’s get back to our sheep” and means, more or less “Get to the point, buster!” It comes from a French farce.
    http://users.tinyonline.co.uk/gswithenbank/sayingsr.htm

  383. Frictionless universe. For the nerds out there, an expression when the weight of reality is too much and you yearn for utopia. Often said like George Costanza’s, Serenity now!

  384. Cabbage Night – The night before Halloween when you went out and soaped windows, TP’d houses, etc.

  385. my personal faves:
    “that’s bad hygiene” (a guy in high school used to say that when something was bad)
    “show me the tree with money on it” (i use this a lot when people tell me they bought something really expensive, and i now use it on my kid when he wants something)
    “he/she looked they hit every branch of the ugly tree” or “he/she looked like they were hit with an ugly stick” (self explanitory: describing an ugly person)
    “go put on your big girl panties and grow up” (self explanitory)

  386. my personal faves:
    “that’s bad hygiene” (a guy in high school used to say that when something was bad)
    “show me the tree with money on it” (i use this a lot when people tell me they bought something really expensive, and i now use it on my kid when he wants something)
    “he/she looked they hit every branch of the ugly tree” or “he/she looked like they were hit with an ugly stick” (self explanitory: describing an ugly person)
    “go put on your big girl panties and grow up” (self explanitory)

  387. “get all your shit in one shoe” = pull yourself together

  388. “get all your shit in one shoe” = pull yourself together

  389. The first time I went to England, I about choked when someone offered me a spotted dick. Yum!

  390. Kirk-out = having a melt-down
    as in – “If her food isn’t here within 30 seconds she’s going to kirk-out.”

  391. grip me = hand xxx to me; put xxx in my hands
    as in “Grip me some chips, would ya?”

  392. gotta drop the Browns off at the Super Bowl = need to have a bm (9 year-old boy influence here)

  393. stroke some scratch = the giving of money
    as in “Dude, if I stroke ya some scratch would you get one for me?”

  394. gotta call the war department = need to touch base with my wife

  395. kitchen pass = getting your wife’s permission to go somewhere
    squaw = wife
    signal = call
    as in = “Signal your squaw to see if she’ll issue a kitchen pass.”

  396. I’m a bit late to this party, but here goes.
    Here in Central Texas we just don’t get rain, we get street flooding, and cars float away in low water crossings. We call those rain storms gully washers.

  397. “Take it up.”
    As in, “I’m going to ‘take up’ your study guides” (my Old Testament professor). This phrase has different meaning depending on where you are from. Apparently, in Canada, you say you are going to take something up when you are going to talk about, or discuss the answers..In Georgia, it definitely means that you’re going to collect it and grade it..and you do not tell a bunch of college students that you are going to take their study guides and grade them the day before their midterm exam. They will freak out on you..And it will take a good twenty minutes to translate what everybody is talking about and to realize that “take it up” (Georgia) equals “take it in” (Canada) and “take it up” (Canada) equals “go over it” (Georgia). Now when she says that she’s going to take something up, we all kinda half-heartedly laugh and wish she would just say it right, darn it!

  398. Squee!!!! At this point there are over 300 comments in here, but I just have to weigh in even though this may have come up before, but my favorite saying is “butter my butt and call me Biscuit!” which is used when one is moderately, but not all too surprised….

  399. Really useful engineer slang:
    Gazinta, gazint: noun, meaning the thing that plugs into the other thing. There can be a whole series of gazintas; the final one is the gazint. I’ve seen real engineering docs from the sixties with pieces labeled Gazinta 1, Gazinta 2, etc. …
    Usage: “Honey, have you seen the gazinta for my MP3 player?”
    DWHUA: My brother the police officer says all the cops he knows use this acronym for Driving With Head Up Ass. Applies to anybody blundering along in a totally clueless way, whether in a vehicle or not.

  400. ‘You goin’ somewhere with this or you just takin’it for a walk?’ – get to the point.
    Not sure if it qualifies, but I do love it! These entries are providing a much needed giggle this morning. Keep ‘em comin’!

  401. My english grandmother when talking about the past or time past – used to say donkey’s years

  402. “Grock” – Brit slang, or at least so I am led to believe by my English/Scot husband – use is “I don’t grock ________”. Sort of means ” to understand” but in the way of “I will never understand this because it is too far out of my experience” and is frequently applied to differences in culture. England and America – 2 countries seperated by a single language.
    Great contest!
    Beth

  403. “uffda” – yes, people actually say this in MN, although typically only those with blonde (gray) hair! It is merely and exclamation, like “bummer” or “oh, sh@#”. Another regionalism – “up north” – which means any lake cabin or resort in the northern half of MN. Many adults in Minneapolis/St.Paul can answer the question, “Got plans this weekend?” with “Yeah, we’re going up north.”

  404. Another one from New Mexico: throw a munch or toss a munch = eat something.

  405. “uffda” – yes, people actually say this in MN, although typically only those with blonde (gray) hair! It is merely and exclamation, like “bummer” or “oh, sh@#”. Another regionalism – “up north” – which means any lake cabin or resort in the northern half of MN. Many adults in Minneapolis/St.Paul can answer the question, “Got plans this weekend?” with “Yeah, we’re going up north.”

  406. I used to work in an office with a gentleman who, seeing me come down the hall to his office, would say “I thought I heard a herd of elephants, and I looked up and saw only one” – I think I’m rather heavy-footed. I now say it to my children!

  407. I have two jabs at this I want to share….
    The first came about this weekend when a friend of my son’s mom said to her husband (about me discussing a opossum) that ” Wendy is gonna go Sopranos on the opossum.”
    And my next …just for giggles…..
    I am a bit aggro (aggrivated) at the scarf I am working on. For a while things were tickety-boo (going well, no problems)and I was chuffed (pleased)with the piece but I started dropping stitches when my son and hubby threw a wobbler(tantrum) my way about having a bit of a nosh(food,meal). Don’t they understand that knitting out weights most everything? Blinkered (narrow minded) that they is at times I stopped and fixed their supper. After they declared it “scrummy (really good) mummy!” I went back to my scarf to tidy (make neat) my dropped stitches. Quickly able to set things right with the universe, the universe being knitting and family, I found myself gob smacked (amazed) with how lovely my scarf out of Noro yarn is becoming!
    Well if nothing else I hope I was at least entertaining with my story! Now I need to go spend a penny (go to the bathroom) and then head down stairs here at work and see if I diddle (con) one of the ladies downstairs out of a bickie(cookie) or fair cake (cup cake) I am starving after all this work! LOL
    Have a great day everyone! Cheerio!
    Wendy

  408. I have two jabs at this I want to share….
    The first came about this weekend when a friend of my son’s mom said to her husband (about me discussing a opossum) that ” Wendy is gonna go Sopranos on the opossum.”
    And my next …just for giggles…..
    I am a bit aggro (aggrivated) at the scarf I am working on. For a while things were tickety-boo (going well, no problems)and I was chuffed (pleased)with the piece but I started dropping stitches when my son and hubby threw a wobbler(tantrum) my way about having a bit of a nosh(food,meal). Don’t they understand that knitting out weights most everything? Blinkered (narrow minded) that they is at times I stopped and fixed their supper. After they declared it “scrummy (really good) mummy!” I went back to my scarf to tidy (make neat) my dropped stitches. Quickly able to set things right with the universe, the universe being knitting and family, I found myself gob smacked (amazed) with how lovely my scarf out of Noro yarn is becoming!
    Well if nothing else I hope I was at least entertaining with my story! Now I need to go spend a penny (go to the bathroom) and then head down stairs here at work and see if I diddle (con) one of the ladies downstairs out of a bickie(cookie) or fair cake (cup cake) I am starving after all this work! LOL
    Have a great day everyone! Cheerio!
    Wendy

  409. My friends in high school made up this one: “Passing the Rat”. It’s from the Spanish phrase “pasar el rato”, which basically means spending time/hanging out with friends..we learned it in Spanish 1 and butchered/translated it into english to mean the same thing. “My friends and I like to pass the rat”.
    Also, 1 time my friend and I were reading another friend’s short story. He had written it out, and his handwriting wasn’t the greatest. Where he had written “oh dear Lord!”, we read “oh deer herd!”..that became our version of “omg” for quite a while..he was a lot of fun to tease..

  410. I have two jabs at this I want to share….
    The first came about this weekend when a friend of my son’s mom said to her husband (about me discussing a opossum) that ” Wendy is gonna go Sopranos on the opossum.”
    And my next …just for giggles…..
    I am a bit aggro (aggrivated) at the scarf I am working on. For a while things were tickety-boo (going well, no problems)and I was chuffed (pleased)with the piece but I started dropping stitches when my son and hubby threw a wobbler(tantrum) my way about having a bit of a nosh(food,meal). Don’t they understand that knitting out weights most everything? Blinkered (narrow minded) that they is at times I stopped and fixed their supper. After they declared it “scrummy (really good) mummy!” I went back to my scarf to tidy (make neat) my dropped stitches. Quickly able to set things right with the universe, the universe being knitting and family, I found myself gob smacked (amazed) with how lovely my scarf out of Noro yarn is becoming!
    Well if nothing else I hope I was at least entertaining with my story! Now I need to go spend a penny (go to the bathroom) and then head down stairs here at work and see if I diddle (con) one of the ladies downstairs out of a bickie(cookie) or fair cake (cup cake) I am starving after all this work! LOL
    Have a great day everyone! Cheerio!
    Wendy

  411. My Dad’s favorite way to describe something slippery is to say that it is “slicker than snot on a greased doorknob” (why you would want to grease a doorknob with or without adding the snot has never been fully explained to my satisfaction- but I digress). This is not to be confused with a wet or icy road which is always described as being “slicker than buttered owl sh*t” (again, why would anyone butter owl sh*t and is owl sh*t inherently slicker than, say, pelican sh*t?- but the trucker he was conversing with via the CB radio sure understood it#). I think these may be mid-westerisms (Kay?) that he picked up in his travels courtesy of Uncle Sam and a 33yr Army career since I don’t remember any of his stayed-in-NJ-where-they-were-born fambly ever comparing anything to nasal secretions or avian droppings (well except for that time Cousin Charlie called me a boogerhead when I was 8 but that’s pretty universal). ‘Bout tinkled my trousers reading some of the comments today. Thanks for the laughs.
    #- it was the 70’s, everybody along the I-70 corridor “had their ears on” so they could warn of “smokies ahead”. 10-4 good buddy.

  412. Oh, Oh, two I forgot that I use all the time!
    –If it were a snake it woulda bit ya! Translation: Could you please open your eyes and see your chemistry book sitting right in front of you and QUIT ASKING ME WHERE IT IS?!
    –Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick
    Translation: I know you really wanted to go see Saw IV, but you’re going to see Happy Feet and like it.

  413. I don’t know why mine posted three times. Twice under two other names but I am sorry for the trouble!
    Wendy

  414. OK, I thought of 2 more…
    “off like Lottie’s drawers” meaning “to depart” (with “drawers” as a rural Southern term for undergarments), as in, “She’s off like Lottie’s drawers.”
    “nipplicious”: derived from the words “nipple” and “delicious”; this term was created to describe how delicious Gus’s Fried Chicken is in Memphis… “the chicken is so good I want to rub it on myself; it’s nipplicious!” (OK, that sounds weird, but the term tends to supercede any superlative I know of.)

  415. “I nearly split me difference”. A phrase used by preteen British girls to indicate that they had to stretch hard to get over say a fence or climbing up a tree. Meaning? Pretty obvious. What makes them girls and not boys!

  416. “…and Bob’s your uncle.” : [from World Wide Words] The most attractive theory — albeit suspiciously neat — is that it derives from a prolonged act of political nepotism. The Victorian prime minister, Lord Salisbury (family name Robert Cecil, pronounced ) appointed his rather less than popular nephew Arthur Balfour to a succession of posts. The most controversial, in 1887, was chief secretary of Ireland, a post for which Balfour — despite his intellectual gifts — was considered unsuitable. The Dictionary of National Biography says: “The country saw with something like stupefaction the appointment of the young dilettante to what was at the moment perhaps the most important, certainly the most anxious office in the administration”. As the story goes, the consensus among the irreverent in Britain was that to have Bob as your uncle was a guarantee of success, hence the expression.

  417. A few bricks shy of a load, not the sharpest tool in the shed, doesn’t have both oars in the water (a variation adds “you’re going in circles b/c …”, doorbell’s ringing but no one’s home, not the brightest bulb on the tree. Along the same lines: they couldn’t find their butt with both hands.
    One that seems to startle and amuse New Englanders is “Let’s blow this clambake” (ie, let’s get out of here). Related: let’s blow this popsicle stand and from childhood: let’s make like a tree and leave, let’s make like a library and book. Yeah, they’re silly. So?

  418. Three bits of Polish-English slang.
    First, my entire family says they have to “do shu shu (phonetic spelling) when they have to use the bathroom. It’s basically the same as having a grown adult say they need to “tinkle.” We got some strange looks in Poland, let me tell ya.
    Secondly, my Dziadzi (Polish for grandfather) is a big fan of making up little sayings. He somehow combines Polish and English, and often comes up with proverbs like this one: “He who sh$#*s in his own sugar pot is going to have to eat it.” He’s adorable. I painted this on a sugar bowl for him and gave it to him for Christmas.
    And finally, since I can’t spell it so I’ll sound it out: “Pu scwinsku alla yest droga.”: It’s pig-like, but it’s good for you (said when someone burps).
    Good times.

  419. Similar to “off like Lottie’s drawers” is what a guy I used to work with would say: “Off like a prom dress!”

  420. Also, one that circulates in my family, started by my boyfriend…boobtastic.
    I think that one speaks for itself.

  421. Help! I keep thinking of more slang! Hope it’s OK to post twice.
    How about “rare as rocking horse shit”? And then there’s “up and down like a tart’s knickers”. I think these two might be self-explanatory.
    Not to mention “fart in a colander”, as in “you’re like a fart in a colander”, ie useless.
    Oh, and there’s “Get knotted”, “get stuffed” and “take a running jump” (and “sod off” – am I allowed to say that one? oops!) all of which mean (grumpily) GO AWAY! when someone is annoying you.

  422. I taught in a London school for a while. I eventually picked up the rhyming slang. A favorite was ‘telling porkies.’ Porkies = pork pies = lies. Telling lies. Another was ‘have a butcher’s.’ Butcher’s= butcher’s hook = a look. Have a look. Roundabout but fun.

  423. My favourites, as a Brit, include
    Essex facelift – a too-tight ponytail
    boracic – meaning short of money (it is rhyming slang – boracic lint rhymes with skint)
    mullered – drunk
    nesh – to describe someone who feels the cold
    bosted – ugly
    have a cob on – to be grumpy/upset
    My favourite US expression is “jumped the shark”, used of TV shows that are not as good as they used to be – I believe it comes from an episode of Happy Days in which the Fonz jumped over a shark on his motorbike!

  424. My favorite slang term is one I got from my nephew–it’s “blazed” as in really stoned. I think it’s much more descriptive than stoned.

  425. Aack!! Way to wait until the last minute! Where does the time go?
    Ok. My slang contribution: For Cryin’ in a Basket! used in place of “for cryin’ out loud” or similar. I posted all about it recently on my blog. http://okwhatnext.blogspot.com/2007/10/this-that-other.html

  426. Here in Wisconsin, drinking fountains are called “bubblers”–they tell me that this term is not used elsewhere, except by transplanted Wisconsinites.

  427. “Threshold paralysis” Not sure if this is specific to our family, but we’ve always used this phrase to describe the phenomenon that occurs when you try to leave someone’s house but can’t quite get through the door because the conversation just won’t end.
    My mother is the queen of the malaprop. Two recent gems came after a shopping expedition for new jeans: “muffin top” became “mushroom cloud” and “camel toe” morphed into “cloven hoof”.

  428. how about “sweatin’ like a whore in church” one of my personal faves!

  429. last minute entry:
    vuoi anche una fetta di culo? con pinoli e uvetta?
    would you also like a slice of arse? with pine nuts and raisins?
    shortened to ‘un po’ di pinoli?’
    some pine nuts?
    to indicate a somewhat excessive and mildly irritating string of requests

  430. OK. Under the wire, here are a few more:
    For those places that are off the beaten track:
    The Tules
    East Yapuchets
    West Jockstrap
    For things that are, well, not so hot:
    Craptastic
    This one’s from The Simpsons, but it’s made a permanent place in our home, “cromulent,” for a made-up or misused word.

  431. Titchy Midgets: It’s our family’s nick name for a the little toddlers and babies. (We LOVE them!)

  432. and my nephew’s invention–“fasts like Ghandi” since they are not alloed to say something “sucks” so–school fasts like Ghandi.

  433. How about “Chelsea tractor”? That’s an unnecessarily large four-wheel drive vehicle driven purely for the prestige in the centre of towns and cities where the terrain definitely doesn’t justify it (Chelsea being a wealthy district in the centre of London).

  434. How about “necking” isn’t that slang for a good old make-out session.

  435. Earjacking : listening in on a conversation you have no business hearing
    Dinner whore: girl who dates for free meals and expensive gifts
    Shoulder surfing : chatting someone up while always looking for someone better
    January joiner: joining the gym in January, over it by February
    and my personal favorite:
    Yo yo yo: a string of noises emitted by retards when attempting to say “hello”

  436. We are gonna go watch the submaraine races. Meaning going to the river to go parking , i.e. make out.

  437. Mo-Mo! As in “Linda is being a Mo-Mo for trying to squeak into this contest past the High Noon deadline”!
    Translation: Areally big goof, fool, dummy or jerk!

  438. crap on a cracker.
    i missed the deadline.
    xo

  439. Living out in east armpit, Living close to the stock yards or other smelly industry.
    Having kittens or shitting bricks, Getting unneccesarily upset.
    or this is a family one after a week of real weirdness: Having a cat down the chimney week.
    We coined that after the week that started with finding that a cat had fallen down the chimney and was stuck behind the fireplace insert. It culminated with DH breaking his leg and my boss ending up in jail on a failure to appear warrant leaving me to run the shop on the busiest day of the year….

  440. “Goose just walked over your grave” when a shiver runs up your back [if it isn't my family-specific it is probably british].
    “Parted brass rags” British navy expression meaning they will no longer work together or cooperate. For me, it is from P.G. Wodehouse and Bertie Wooster.
    Speaking of Wodehouse, “from top-knot to shoe-leather, she was a woman whom God forgot” meaning a thoroughly unbearable person.
    “Half-bleed” Cajun, half-blood – a compliment indicating someone not actually cajun is accepted as cajun.
    “Coon-ass” Cajun meaning a cajun. “That baby is a coon-ass through and through even though he’s a half-bleed.”

  441. Ok. I am WAY past the deadline (after slipping my first one in RIGHT at the deadline) but this simply had to be shared. And PLEASE forgive the crass nature of this.
    When my now-10-year-old nephew, Zeb, was about 3 my older brother (now 35) told him that only little babies say “big potty” and that he should say something cooler when he had to “go number two”. After a few days of reinforcing said slang to the impressionable youth, my nephew decided to use this slang in a nice restaurant when his mother (our sister) was taking him to the bathroom one evening. He yelled back to my brother, across the quiet restroom: “Uncle Chad! I’m going to drop the kids off at the pool!”

  442. Too late for the contest, but too much fun to resist. Some family favorites:
    “Three sheets to the wind”, meaning “completely drunk” (but at the lively, not the passed-out stage). From my Irish grandmother, who also gave us the phrase “drunk as a lord”.
    Two Montana phrases from my mother (raised in a college town, not on the ranch): “built like a brick s***house”. Said of a woman who is stacked (there’s some old slang in itself) or of a man who is mighty studly. And, “she wouldn’t say ‘s***’ if she stepped in it”, meaning she’s rather a prissy person.
    And some allaround favorites: “Bob’s your uncle”, which others have mentioned (my mom got all her British slang from reading mystery novels). “If it was a snake it would have bit you”, said often to me, a near-sighted child who couldn’t find anything. The best phrase for someone whose intelligence or sanity is in question: “She’s not playing with a full deck”.

  443. A family favorite of mine – no idea of the spelling – “It funkles like koodreck in monshen” – loosely translated from German – “It sparkles like cows**t in moonlight”. Came from my Grandmother – always used to describe new engagement rings!
    I think I’m too late for the contest, but couldn’t pass up the chance to share this one.

  444. Restaurant, not restroom.

  445. Snarge it is so fun to say and it sounds like a bird getting caught in something!
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=snarge
    definition…
    The residue smeared on an airplane after a bird/plane collision. The snarge is generally all that is left of the bird. Every day numerous samples are taken off of airplanes and sent in for DNA testing to help map out what kinds of birds are colliding with airplanes. Both the FFA and military have a vested interest in these results.

  446. A few more…
    SWAG – Some Wild Ass Guess. A work term we have used for years – “I need that quote by this afternoon, just SWAG it, ok?”
    “I see – said the blind man to his deaf wife”
    ‘It’s time to blow this popsicle stand” (time to leave)

  447. Oh my gosh, at lunch the comments were up to 394 (not just 300 as i mentioned!) whee! We are a bunch of slangy people. I just thought of something to add…. “spending money like water for chocolate”… dunno where I’d gotten that one, but it essentially means that one is going through cash at a furious rate. Hoo, and here’s another I’d grew up with…as a slightly whiny child, I’d start a sentence with “but i thought we were….” and would fill in with whatever i thought i was being denied the fun of going or doing something, Papa’s reply was that I “thought like Nick, who – thought he farted but he sh*t….” you know… made a bit of an error in judgement… No one else I know of is familiar with that little saying…

  448. Oh, for those who were wondering: creamed chipped beef on toast is the dish that inspired the army mess-hall term “s*** on a shingle”.

  449. Oh, and has no one yet mentioned another army phrase, “since Christ was a corporal”, meaning long long ago.

  450. Too late, but here’s one from my hubbo, King of Colorful Slang:
    “low tooth-per-head count” as in “This is Deliverance country. I think these people have a pretty low tooth-per-head count.” ::cue banjo music::

  451. Brass monkey, Cold enough to freeze the balls on a … – This saying has nothing to do with the genitalia of metal simians, it’s actually a naval expression. A ‘monkey’ was the plate on which cannon balls stood on warships, and these monkeys were made of brass because brass contracts and expands at a different rate to the iron of the cannon balls, thus stopping the balls freezing together. If it was really cold, though, the balls still froze together, hence ‘cold enough to freeze the balls on a brass monkey’.

  452. here’s one i know you haven’t heard :)
    “cheese egg!” meaning “ok, so, time to go…”
    here’s how it was derived:
    “ok, so” became “queso”
    “time to go” becamed “tamago”
    queso is spanish for cheese, and tamago is japanese for egg, so the phrase went from queso tamago to cheese egg
    it became frequently used at a coffeshop in mississippi when i was in college, and is always good for a bizarre look from the unknowing, almost like using code! someone would yell out “cheese egg” while trying to get a group of us to stop yapping and move on to our next destiantion, and a bunch of ppl would get up and leave :)

  453. Oh shiz. I’m too late–s’what comes from being too busy to get online for a week and a half. Can you imagine? No, but who can?
    Anyways, slang:
    Stroppy.
    As in, “Don’t get all stroppy with me–I didn’t mean to dump the bangers and mash in your lap!”

  454. Aw,I’m too late for the contest, but… someone will like this one.
    My grandmother, from Port Gibson and Natchez, Mississippi always said “Good grief from Vicksburg” when she was aggravated. Natchez was mostly Union and surrendered, while Vicksburg, of course, endured a long siege during the war.
    I still say it. Vicksburg is still no place for decent folk.

  455. Tough cookies
    Christ on a cracker
    You couldn’t hit water from a boat (an inability to throw things).
    Hotter than a fox in a forest fire.
    F****n A!
    Easy Cheesy!
    This day is bananas! (this day is crazy)
    I know I’m late, but I had to share these – I really enjoyed reading everyone’s – some of these I thought I was the only one who said them!

  456. The best one I’ve heard lately: About as soothing as a bathtub lined with sandpaper.
    My mom always responded to a minor injury from one of her children with the remark, “It’ll heal before you’re married.” When my sister burned herself on the curling iron on her wedding day, the words were half out of my mother’s mouth when she realized that, no it wouldn’t.

  457. I know I’m far too late for the contest, but I have a few to add. =)
    Another person with Polish slang–“dupa” (doopa), meaning your butt. My mom and grandma use “shu shu” for the bathroom as well.
    My favorite slang has to come from the seventh Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows– “What in the name of Merlin’s Y-fronts…(finish sentence)” or “What in the name of Merlin’s saggy left buttock…(finish sentence)”. Hilarity.
    I don’t remember the last time I laughed so hard…but that was before I read these comments. I fell out of my chair exactly once and had many close calls while drinking water and reading comments that it didn’t end up all over the screen.

  458. Ok, I have two: “Woot!” and “PWN!”. I’m fairly comfortable that “Woot!” means “YAY!” (though I’m not sure why), and my Personal Smarty and Socially Connected Engineer BF tells me that “PWN!” means “OWN!” as in “I OWN YOU! WUZZUP!” but that someone somewhere along the line mistyped the “O” to be a “P” (Cuz they’re close together? On the keyboard? Right?) and therefore saying “PWN!” is now cooler than saying “OWN!” But I still kinda don’t get it. Hmm…
    See Example A for a current day reference: Example A– http://xkcd.com/341/
    I still don’t get it….does this count?

  459. Ummm….so yeah…I’m definitely a day or three off. Really REALLY thought today was 11/10. Oops. Well…..belated entry kudos?!

  460. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”
    Or how about this one my boss just made up the other day: “Just because you are treated like a chair, doesn’t make you one”

  461. Well, I know I’m late, but wanted to share “mad as a box of frogs” which means “extremely eccentric, or possibly just totally crazy”. Often abreviated where I worked to “That new volunteer of ours is a bit froggy” Or “I’m going to put some frogs in a box if you don’t STOP HUMMING.” Luckily, I now longer work there, so I each of my frogs has its own, separate box, so all is well!

  462. A brand new bit of family slang used to indicate that someone has just put ones foot in their mouth:
    [In a whiney 11 year olds voice} Nooooo Crap!
    Of course there is a story. My college age cousin was counseler for a batch of 11 year old girls this summer. “Miss Allyson, Karey said the C word!” My cousin replyed “What? Cu*t?” Leading to the new family phrase, and of course a bit of explination on new curse words.

  463. A brand new bit of family slang used to indicate that someone has just put ones foot in their mouth:
    [In a whiney 11 year olds voice} Nooooo Crap!
    Of course there is a story. My college age cousin was counseler for a batch of 11 year old girls this summer. “Miss Allyson, Karey said the C word!” My cousin replyed “What? Cu*t?” Leading to the new family phrase, and of course a bit of explination on new curse words.

  464. Hummer house: A huge and architecturally inappropriate house built in an existing neighborhood destroying the aesthetic integrity of said neighborhood

  465. “Uglier than a hedgerow of assholes” (thanks Grandpa!)

  466. It looks like we all loves a contest!
    How about the exclamation “TITS!” meaning – great, awesome. My son and I say it all the time…