Oompa Loompas, Frothy Monkeys, Etc.
February 25, 2006
I’m here to leave one final comment about this issue of ice skating clothes.
But first, while you’re sitting there cranking the crown of your Knitting Olympics Hat No. 15, I’ll tell you about my birthday. Thursday was my birthday. When you get to this middle tier of birthday, when nobody rewards you with a driver’s license or a draft card or a beer bong, it’s pure enchantment to have a day of visits with people who love to talk. I walked with Judy, who gave me the perfect thing you give a person in my situation: a beautiful, shiny new pedometer. I had an epic coffee fix at the Frothy Monkey with Katie, who is new to Nashville (anything less than 30 years and you are a newcomer). She is a canary in the coal mine for me when it comes to spotting social methane around here. Katie gives good chat. And I had lunch with my silver-haired daddy, who is in exceedingly fine form after his marriage last week to a lovely painter named Ann. (You know what they say about dads–they always marry their daughters . . .) Top all this off with a trip to Shintomi with Hubbo and the fellas, and a person leaves her birthday a) aware of how many steps she’s taking, b) thoroughly gossiped out, c) glad to see her daddyo so giddy, and d) full. A fine day, I tell ya.
All this is background to the END of my birthday, which was spent watching the women’s figure skating finals. After such a rich, delicious day, my goal was simple: to identify one skating costume that was not hideous. Just one. Surely SOMEbody out there could figure out an outfit for these gorgeously fit young things to wear, something that doesn’t involve a dirndl, ostrich feathers, or, you know, pantyhose connector parts.
People, this was no piece of cake, I tell you. There must be some regulation that skating clothes MUST include pantyhose connector parts. Early on, I decided to revise my requirements and say that the costume could not have pantyhose connector parts in a shade resembling that of an Oompa-Loompa. With that adjustment, I watched and knitted, while Hubbo wandered in and out of the room with a puzzled expression. “Why is this so interesting to you?” he asked.
The Italian skater Carolina Kostner glided onto the ice. Aw, man, I thought, she’s got pantyhose connector parts all over the place. But I looked again. It was kind of cool. All those snowflakey stars were really pretty. She looked like some kind of ice fairy. She didn’t look like a freak. From a distance, the pantyhose connector parts disappeared. She was IT!
It turns out that it was no accident that her costume was so fabulous. My research reveals that it was designed by Roberto Cavalli. Who cares if she came in ninth? Give the girl a gold medal for garb! And Carolina’s dress will be auctioned for charity to benefit a Genoa children’s hospital. I’m off to bid–I just can’t wait to have my very own skating costume designed by Roberto Cavalli!
What a day!