Perfect Sweater: Runoff Time!
October 13, 2005
Dear Kay, and Tout le Monde,
Is it just me, or does it seem like we’re on the verge of something? At this point in the Future Search for the Perfect Handknit, I think we can all agree that we have made remarkable progress. Remember where we started?
[pause for reflection]
But there is one small element of the group that we need to address: the Retire to the Lounge people. I know, I know how these things work: there is always a small contingent who travel to the beat of a different drum, who blow in the wind, who are going sit on the dock of the bay. To them I say, “Has it come to this? Can we not compete with 2-for-1 Miller Lites? Is it that bad?” I ask you Loungers to participate in this small exercise, which I think will prove helpful:
If you voted “Retire to the Lounge,” and wanted to stop this Future Search for the Perfect Handknit, please answer this question: You are a vegetable. Tell us which one, and why.
Our fervent hope is that your reflection on this question will give you the chance to think about your role in this quest. Yes, you do have a role.
[facilitator sniffs, bites lower lip, recalls Future Searches of days gone by]
Meanwhile, Some Verrrrry Interesting Results
I keep forgetting to put deadlines on the voting. Rest assured that I will make sure there are no last-minute rallies that change the following results. CHECKITOUT:
This garment has . . .
long sleeves. 70.5% 492
3/4-length sleeves. 28.2% 197
short sleeves. 0.7% 5
no sleeves. 0.6% 4
total votes: 698
If you chose sleeves, what sort of construction would you like them to have?
Set-in 44.7% 286
Raglan 34.8% 223
Yoke knitted in the round 6.9% 44
Modified drop 5.9% 38
Drop 4.2% 27
Saddle shoulder 3.4% 22
total votes: 640
The waist is . . .
shaped slightly. 72.4% 490
shaped to be very form fitting. 14.5% 98
straight. 13.1% 89
total votes: 677
The front of the cardigan should be fastened with . . .
a row of buttons. 52.8% 350
one artfully placed button. 20.8% 138
a zipper. 16.6% 110
a tie or sash. 5.4% 36
nothing at all–no fastener. 4.4% 29
total votes: 663
The neckline should be . . .
v-neck 30.1% 193
a jewel collar (round w/no significant edging) 20.4% 131
crewneck (an inch or so of edging) 18.4% 118
shawl collar 16.5% 106
funnel cake (whoops, got off track there) 5.9% 38
two-point collar 5.3% 34
turtleneck 1.7% 11
funnel neck 1.7% 11
total votes: 642
So. This robust vote tells us that we have clear majorities in certain areas:
A slightly shaped waist.
A row of buttons down the front.
The other areas are not quite clear yet, so we’ll have a
and a Sleeve-Construction-Off.
Now, there are a lot of folks who did not vote for set-in or raglan sleeves. If you are an avid supporter of either set-in or raglan, now would be a good time to make your case to the people who are going to be voting for them for the first time. I’m not advocating vote-buying, but a good Ride to the Polls program might not be a bad idea. I’m not saying, I’m just saying.
By the way, the 38 knuckleheads who voted for a funnel cake collar are going to get their wish. As a special breakout group, you are hereby deputized to engineer a collar that either a) resembles a funnel cake or b) actually is a funnel cake.
Please vote in the Neck-Off and Sleeve-Construction-Off by Friday, 6:02 pm CDT.