Is Starshower the new Honey Cowl? Only time will tell (but it looks good).

So High You Almost Touch the Sky

Dear Ann,
Back in law school, they taught us about something called “long-arm jurisdiction”. It means that if you have minimum contacts with a state–such as for example, Tennessee–such that you go there a lot (for example, to make music videos about knitting), and you have an impact on the economy there (for example, renting costumes and buying extra large wigs and pretty much propping up the local Pimiento Cheese industry), well then, you are considered to be “doing business” there, and you can be sued there.
So apparently I can get my ass sued in Tennessee, but I am ineligible to be honored as somebody’s co-Knitting Wit of Nashville.
I’m not bitter–no, no– but at times like these, times of deep, mixed emotions (you KNOW how much I LOVE a certificate)….. I do have a tendency to break into song.
Anthem-type songs.
Songs with a key change near the end.
So Ann, I dedicate this song to you.
It’s pretty dang cold here in your shadow.
I never have sunlight on my face,
I am content to let you shine (that’s my way).
I always walk a step behind.
So you are the one with all the glory,
while I am the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name (for so long).
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.
Did you ever know that I’m your hero,
and everything you would like to be?
You can fly higher than an eagle,
’cause I am the wind beneath your wings.
It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I’ve got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it:
You would be nothing without meeeeeee.
Did you ever know that I’m your hero,
and everything you would like to be?
You can fly higher than an eagle,
’cause I am the wind beneath your wings.
Did I ever tell you I’m your hero?
I’m everything, everything you wish you could be.
Oh, and you, you could fly higher than an eagle,
’cause I am the wind beneath your wings,
’cause I am the wind beneath your wings.
[EVERYBODY PLEASE WAVE CELL PHONES NOW]
Oh, the wind beneath your wings.
I, I, I, I, am the wind beneath your wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. I let you fly so high.
Oh, I, I, I, the wind beneath your wings.
Oh, I, I, I, the wind beneath your wings.
Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
so high you almost touch the sky.
Thank me! thank me!
thank God for me, the wind beneath your wings.

Congrats, doll! I pity the fool who tries to pry your claws offa this title next year.
Love,
Kay

26 Comments

26 Comments

  1. oh lawdy thats a good one.
    glad to see you ladies are never above a little self promotion ;)
    ’bout died at ‘wave your cellphones’
    there may be troubles in the world but there’s always a mason-dixon campfire sing-a-long to part the clouds!

  2. LOL LOL LOL.
    Thank God I’m here to give you something to do with yourself . . .
    In the words of Mac Davis . . . .
    Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble
    when you’re perfect in every way.
    I can’t wait to look in the mirror
    cause I get better looking each day.
    To know me is to love me
    I must be a hell of a man.
    Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble
    but I’m doing the best that I can.

  3. to this I say both “tee” and “hee.”

  4. Congrats Ann! A fellow knitter from my Tuesday group- ’cause here in the Springs we have a group for every day and most evenings so why isn’t your book tour stopping here?!?- just gave me a copy of that very Mac Davis song on CD to pass along to my Dad. I have the original vinyl. (Must get turntable to play it on.) Your book (#2) made the rounds of the table at the group this week and was ooohed and aaahed over. I’m expecting to see the shop dog sporting a Swiffery little jacket in the near future. (Tho she is already death on any crumbs that hit the floor!)
    Kay, I’d love to see you in the Divine Miss M wig and tight sequin-y dress to go along with the song!! Perhaps a photo shoot is in order????

  5. Thank you, Kay, for FINALLY revealing the truth behind that dang song. It is a beautiful thing we have witnessed here today.

  6. i came to pat your head
    if you ever need a friend here i am
    if you ever go to jail i’m your bail
    if you ever lose your teeth
    i’ll give you mine
    its friend ship its friend ship
    when other friend ships are soon forgot
    ours will still be hot

  7. Here’s the song I sing when I feel like you Kay:
    Nobody likes me.
    Everybody hates me.
    Think I’ll eat some worms.
    Big ones, little ones, itty bitty squirmy ones,
    Eat them one by one.
    Bite their heads off, suck their guts out,
    Turn them inside out….
    I don’t remember the rest but I usually feel better by the time I reach the part where I trail off.
    I hope this helps.
    (Congratulations Ann!)

  8. Snort!!!!

  9. Snort!!!!

  10. But, Kay, tell us how you REALLY feel… :)
    LoveDiane

  11. The worm song … my anthem … and it goes: first you bite the heads off, then you suck the guts out, oh how they do squiirrrmmm, long slim slimy ones, big fat juicy ones, itsy bitsy teeny weeny worrooommms.
    But I like the idea that she’s the wind under Ann’s wings … more melodic and a much nicer mind picture …
    and the Mac Davis song works … except for the gender part …
    See. Kay, you live in the wrong part of the world. Notice the exclamation point after the city you live in? AND notice that it is in PARENTHESIS? You shoulda shown them a pikture of your song, they’d mighta bought it, that at heart you’re a reeeeeel country gal.

  12. Don’t be bitter. We need you two together. It’s like when the Bangles started fighting after Susanna Hoff was singled out as the star. They were never the same. :-)

  13. There MUST be a “Best Of” list somewhere for New Yorkers…What’s this about, “Rachel Ray with pointy objects”?!

  14. Oh, Kay. I feel for you dear. Unnoticed for all these years. Tsk, tsk on those making that award to Ann.
    But seriously, we LOVE that song in our house, for its comic value, that is. When we get to the part about ‘fly away’ we usually warble, and say fwyyyyyyyy, fwyyyyyy so high….you get the idea!

  15. You ladies are crazier’n hell. I love it and hope to gawd you keep it up. Anyway, congrats, Ann — this achievement is well-deserved!

  16. You ladies are crazier’n hell. I love it and hope to gawd you keep it up. Anyway, congrats, Ann — this achievement is well-deserved!

  17. Kay, Don’t fret none, you’ll always be thought of as a Knit-Wit…in the best possible way, of course.Now if you could only rework an old Roger Miller song, then you’d truly deserve an award!

  18. I have no cellphone, but am waving my little hanky, dampened with tears of sympathy. Or something.
    :)

  19. Now I’m waiting for the music video!
    I can’t comment on Ann’s post just after this one (where she calls you the wind beneath her wings). Server error, or something. But I just want to say: “serially monogamous about garment-knitting” nails it! People ask if I have a lot of projects on the needles, and I have several, but always just *one* garment.

  20. do these wings happen to be bingo wings?

  21. If you’re going to go Bette Midler on us, at least you didn’t venture into “From a Distance’ territory and dredge up Nanci Griffith memories, too. Thank God for that.
    Propping up the whole pimiento cheese industry, though? that’s good stuff.

  22. MEOW!

  23. Kay, my dear, this song was brilliant.

  24. OMG! That’s so damn funny. I read it out loud to my husband and he was laughing, too. Knitting wit. How about just plain witty. That was great!

  25. Honey, you could always go for the category I saw beneath hers — Best Brazilian Bikini Wax. That’s what I’d go for, personally. :D

  26. Ok, I’m finally giving in. I’m finally going to reveal my nerdity – what is this about waving cell phones. Please have pity on this poor expat that has been out of the US for 20 years …
    Riki in BKK