“I just want more of her.” A wonderful piece on the late lamented food writer, Laurie Colwin.

The Wind Beneath My Bingo Wings

Dear Ann,
Well. That was fun. And it’s so hard to choose favorites from all the crazy talk people submitted, isn’t it? But choose we must, and these are our choices.
Category: Sounds Like Something They Used To Say In East Omaha (When There Was an East Omaha)
grip me = hand xxx to me; put xxx in my hands
as in “Grip me some chips, would ya?”

(Dennis’s Mommy, come on down and grip your new knitting book!)
Something To Say Instead of “Shut Up And Row” (Which I Say 10 Times a Day)
And the winner is:
Don’t sweat the mule goin’ blind, just load the wagon.
(Congratulations, Kathy B!)
Category: Best Inside Family Slang That We Are GoingTo Adopt Ourselves Immediately Because It’s So Great
Shui
Noun
Derived from “Feng Shui”
Meaning: Junk, clutter, items to donate to a worthy cause and never be seen again.
Based on a book (since lost to this family) which claimed to simplify our lives through Feng Shui. We got through the first part of the first chapter, mainly consisting of throwing away useless belongings and clearing out the junk from the house. Although we never were able to fully embrace the feng shui ideals, we have recoined “shui” as a term from the first step of this process.
Can also be used as a verb: “I’m going to shui the sewing room this afternoon, so bring me the big garbage bags.”

(Kudos to Katie and her wicked funny –and tidy–family.)
The People’s Choice Awards, i.e., the random draw winners, are:
“Don’t harsh my mellow.”
Submitted by Kirsty. If we’d had a category for Best Use of Adjective As a Verb, this would have been an on-the-merits winner.
—AND–
“Do ye think I came down the Clyde on a biscuit?’ meaning ‘do you think I am stupid?’ Scottish.
Submitted by Sarah, who most certainly would never use a biscuit as a flotation device.
Winners: Please email me your mailing addresses, so I can ship your books!
Thanks to everyone who played. It was a blast reading through all the entries. A pity there wasn’t a category for expressions using the word sh*t, as the competition would have been fierce!
Ann, I understand you have big news in your extended fambly of country singin’ fools. Lay it on us!
Love,
Kay

15 Comments

15 Comments

  1. “…and, lastly, I’d like to thank the Academy and everyone who voted for me. Without you, this would not have been possible.”
    ps: LOVED the “blind mule” one as well :)

  2. I love the “Shui” bit. I meant to enter, but mine were all in German. My German husband has a lovely turn of phrase but I was too lazy to translate yesterday. My family also has a thing about turning nouns into verbs. Where we live in Germany,recyclables go into a “gelbesack” or yellow bag” . I often hand the kids somthing and ask them to “gelbesack it” We also mix our languages in this houshold :-) will have to start using “shui ” for the non- recyclable garbage. Very funny.

  3. What a wonderful contest! I’m just impressed that you were able to wade through all the entries so quickly. You two never cease to amaze me. ;)

  4. Darn these being 17 time zones away.. and having to go to work and not being able to read/post to this site.. because of something silly like: firewalls and all.. (they are so bad this year- that as an art teacher I can’t even access MUSEUM sites! Why? Arts and Entertainment!! woo boy..)
    Meaning: I didn’t get to post my entry. :(
    I enjoyed reading the postings later though. Thanks everyone for posting them.

  5. Darn. I was hoping the budgie smugglers would win but alas, it was not to be. Reading the entries was wicked fun, though.

  6. Congrats to all the winners!
    There are an awful lot of phrases that involve swear words, aren’t there?

  7. I think there should be a category for fun things grandparents say. Lots of grandparents are awfully fond of the slang, aren’t they?

  8. Oh! Oh! I use “Don’t harsh my mellow!” Now I feel like a rock star.

  9. It amazes me how these things translate – I guess a bit like chinese whispers. I live ‘by the Clyde’ and must admit to never ever having heard ‘do you think I came down the Clyde on a biscuit’ it’s always up the Clyde (not down) and I’ve heard it with a ‘banana boat’ or a ‘bicycle’, but never a biscuit.

  10. While I have had the misfortune to eat some biscuits that were tough enough to float on, the Scots mean ‘cookie’ when they say ‘biscuit,’ bless their hearts.

  11. Those were hystrical. I’ve used the Shui one before, someone asked me what style I decorated in and I said “Funky Shui” I’m not sure they understood what I meant tho.

  12. No no no ! I must take issue ! Sarah must cite her sources !!! One does not come down the Clyde on a biscuit – one comes UP it on a BANANA BOAT !!
    As in, “dae ye think I cam up the Clyde oan a banana boat ?” …. clearly a much more sensible flotation device than a biscuit.
    Honestly Kay, you’re the giddy limit (as my Grandmother would have told you) – you’ll have everyone thinking we Scots are nutters. As if.
    Heather x

  13. Heather – it’s a quotation from a play which I saw some years ago in Corby (which has a large Scottish influx despite being in the Midlands – related to the former steelworks) and I cannot for the life of me remember the name of the play now. It may come to me if I try not to think about it!
    Sarah

  14. Now I love the contest even more! Thanks so much!

  15. It was great fun reading all the entries! Also, had to laugh because so many of them were things I say all the time, and didn’t even think of as “slang” – I guess that’s what slang is, eh?
    Jeezum Crow! ;)
    quinn