Ding Dong There’s Somebody at the Door
September 15, 2006
I hardly know where to begin. Let’s just say that when this chatterbag shows up on your doorstep, you can forget about getting much of anything done.
The fact is, Kay’s been in Nashville for a couple of days, and the gibblegabble level has been deafening. At the moment she’s on her way home yet stranded at the Nashville airport and I feel kind of guilty that she’s probably been cornered at the Whitt’s barbecue stand by some Nissan manager who’s explaining hydrogen fuel cell technology to her.
But not guilty enough to go get her. Instead, I’ll fill you in on what we’ve been up to.
Kay came to town so that we could 1) begin work penning a new tome; 2) watch Project Runway; 3) be on teevee; and 4) witness some sheep judging.
Shawl o’ the Doom
Before we get to all that, please note that the above list of activities did not include 5) Help Ann knit the border of her shawl. The Print o’ the Wave shawl has hit that gruesome moment which comes when you realize, having finished one pattern repeat, that you have 79 more to go.
By the time I got to the fifth repeat, I discovered this disappointing lack of success at following a pattern:
The pattern repeats aren’t repeating properly. It besucks.
Kay cheerfully suggested that I rip it out now and just hush up about the thing. For the record, in the time I misknit a dozen rows, she finished a picnic blanket and a pup tent.
1. Penning a New Tome
I honestly don’t know how we ever penned a tome together. Sample dialogue from yesterday:
Ann: We could do a chapter on aprons. Who doesn’t need an apron?
Kay: [Silently knits.]
Ann: Should we get some coffee now?
Kay: [Flips pattern over, yanks more yarn from skein, continues knitting.]
Ann: I’m going to the kitchen. I think an apron could be cute. I wish I had on an apron right this minute.
Kay: Milk no sugar, OK? Did you ever buy some decent coffee?
Sample Dialogue #2
Kay: So it’s a cozy for a cozy. Get it? You put the cozy on top of the cozy and–
Ann: I get it! An apron cozy!
Kay: No. Just a cozy for a cozy.
Ann: We could go to Target now?
2. Watch Project Runway
Kay refuses to bite. I’ve never seen such resistance to hi kwalidy entertainment. What is it going to TAKE to get her to understand this show?
I won’t dwell on recent show developments right this minute except to say that if Michael doesn’t win, I will personally pass the hat for the guy.
3. Be on Teevee
It is a rare treat to be able to talk with one of journalism’s greats, John Seigenthaler–a man who knows more about the First Amendment than Howard Stern, a man who was a member of the Kennedy administration, a man who can endure two women babbling nonstop for half an hour about why he ought to learn how to knit.
Mr. Seigenthaler wins the first-ever Mason-Dixon Knitting Award Of Valor For Devoting A Show To A Subject In Which He Has No Interest.
I think it’s safe to say that Kay broke new ground on A Word on Words with John Seigenthaler. Did David Halberstam knit all the way through his interview? I think NOT.
Don’t know the air date yet. Apparently the show will be available as an iTunes/MP3 download at some point.
4. Witness Some Sheep Judging
After the show taping, there we were, all dressed up and no place to go. The makeup lady was so sweet that she used up all her cosmetics on us. Never have we looked so colorized:
We looked like Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis in Some Like It Hot. I haven’t worn that much lipstick since I was abusing Bonne Bell Lip Smackers in the sixth grade.
WNPT is directly adjacent to that three-star Worth a Detour destination, the Tennessee State Fair. Seeing as how I didn’t get to go with Angela, my fair date last year (whose coverage of this year’s fair is, as ever, worthy of a Pulitzer), or blue ribbon Sheila, I decided it was going to be with Kay or bust.
We ended up in Sheepland.
That guardrail was helpful in keeping us far enough away that we didn’t pass out from the authentic, sunwarmed scent of 200 bags of prize-winning fleece.
My old chemistry teacher, Mr. Shuffett, has been reincarnated as a sheep.
Now, I’m no judge of sheep, but this fella seems like he’s got some righteous huevos gigantes. How much more gigante can huevos get? I hope the guy won a ribbon for SOMEthing.
PS Before I forget (I’m italicizing this because I am semi-yelling it), Knitting at the Library was a huge, huge piece of fun. Ask anybody who was there. If you meant to come this month but were waylaid by life’s travails, do not fail to come next time, Monday, October 9, noon to 2 pm. It is a fantastic group/ locale/thing to do in downtown Nashville. Just great.