Grand Ole Hair
September 20, 2006
Honeeeeeeey, I’m home! I had a blast in Nashville, as I always do. Nashville is a wonderland. Then again, it doesn’t take all that much to make me happy.
One thing I have been pondering about Nashville is: What’s up with the hair? Why is there so much GREAT HAIR in Nashville? I mean, look at Tammy Wynette:
Girl had awesome hair.
Dolly’s hair? Get OUT! Dolly’s hair mojo is so strong that some of it rubbed off on Porter.
Like Dolly, Loretta Lynn has too much Hair Power for a mere mortal. Look at what she did to Conway Twitty. The Dry Look indeed.
I would be remiss if I did not mention the understated but classically fab hair of my personal patron saint, Miss Patsy Cline. The bangs alone were a day’s work, people. Do you think bangs just wisp like that all by themselves?
On my past trips, though, I have noticed that the true Nashvillian hair is not as grand as we have been led to believe. This is why I asked you to take me downtown. I was thinking maybe the good hair is downtown. You know, closer to the Ryman Auditorium and its hallowed hairdos of yore.
As long as we were paying 4 dollars for parking, would it kill you to take me to Hatch Show Print? I mean, they carved my very own HEAD in WOOD; I need to show respect if I have any hope of getting to wear the cowboy hat again.
This is what I call ambiance.
I nearly applied for a job.
Here’s Agnes Barton-Sabo! Agnes the artist who did our woodcut heads!
Do you think this would work for a Bat Mitzvah?
Whither The Hair?
That was sure fun, but I left Nashville without finding any truly good hair. At the airport newstand, I grabbed a copy of Real Simple magazine’s special Food issue. I mean, it could happen, right? Any day now, I could be cooking dinner. Imagine my bewilderment when I came across this piece:
YOU have Nashville hair! Consider my world rocked. I’m real proud of you writing such a sa-weet essay on your Most Memorable Meal (even though it wasn’t a meal, neither was anybody else’s). But mostly I’m proud of your hair. It’s been a long journey to the handheld ionic dryer of your dreams. You stayed the course, and earned your hair.
Next time, knitting content. For indeed, there has been knitting of the dramatic and upsetting kind, in which one discovers the limits of one’s natural abilities.