Is Starshower the new Honey Cowl? Only time will tell (but it looks good).

Grand Ole Hair

Dear Ann,
Honeeeeeeey, I’m home! I had a blast in Nashville, as I always do. Nashville is a wonderland. Then again, it doesn’t take all that much to make me happy.
One thing I have been pondering about Nashville is: What’s up with the hair? Why is there so much GREAT HAIR in Nashville? I mean, look at Tammy Wynette:
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Girl had awesome hair.
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Dolly’s hair? Get OUT! Dolly’s hair mojo is so strong that some of it rubbed off on Porter.
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Like Dolly, Loretta Lynn has too much Hair Power for a mere mortal. Look at what she did to Conway Twitty. The Dry Look indeed.
I would be remiss if I did not mention the understated but classically fab hair of my personal patron saint, Miss Patsy Cline. The bangs alone were a day’s work, people. Do you think bangs just wisp like that all by themselves?
On my past trips, though, I have noticed that the true Nashvillian hair is not as grand as we have been led to believe. This is why I asked you to take me downtown. I was thinking maybe the good hair is downtown. You know, closer to the Ryman Auditorium and its hallowed hairdos of yore.
Downtown
As long as we were paying 4 dollars for parking, would it kill you to take me to Hatch Show Print? I mean, they carved my very own HEAD in WOOD; I need to show respect if I have any hope of getting to wear the cowboy hat again.
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This is what I call ambiance.
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I nearly applied for a job.
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Here’s Agnes Barton-Sabo! Agnes the artist who did our woodcut heads!
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Do you think this would work for a Bat Mitzvah?
Whither The Hair?
That was sure fun, but I left Nashville without finding any truly good hair. At the airport newstand, I grabbed a copy of Real Simple magazine’s special Food issue. I mean, it could happen, right? Any day now, I could be cooking dinner. Imagine my bewilderment when I came across this piece:
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YOU have Nashville hair! Consider my world rocked. I’m real proud of you writing such a sa-weet essay on your Most Memorable Meal (even though it wasn’t a meal, neither was anybody else’s). But mostly I’m proud of your hair. It’s been a long journey to the handheld ionic dryer of your dreams. You stayed the course, and earned your hair.
Next time, knitting content. For indeed, there has been knitting of the dramatic and upsetting kind, in which one discovers the limits of one’s natural abilities.
Love, Kay

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30 Comments

30 Comments

  1. I really enjoyed the article. In honor of Nashville Hair, you should make the Dolly Parton Dump cake recipe the appears in the same magazine!

  2. I think the true era of great Nashville hair ended when they discovered that hole in the ozone. You need Final Net in the industrial-size aerosol can to generate those hairdo’s – it’s just not feasible with current technology. (Now there’s a project for those NASA guys!)

  3. Just so you know, I broke out my beloved Babyliss ionic hair dryer this morning (it was too chilly to go out into the dark of morn’ with wet hair) and now, today, I too have Nashville hair. Woo!

  4. Ann’s so demure, though! I’m not sure she has enough, um, altitude for Nashville hair. She still has quite a fab look, however, and I’ll be sure to look for that mag in my local, er, Wal-Mart? Do they carry the Real Simple special pubs? we shall see.

  5. Ann HAS Nashville hair compared to mine! hehe
    What’s wrong with Tang and Saltines?

  6. I dunno if it’s just the dryer – I have one of those ionic jobbies, and I don’t get Nashville hair. I guess my Vermont mojo just won’t allow it. Damnit. But Ann! We’re so durned proud of you!!!

  7. Baby, them’s wigs on them gals. Except for Miss Patsy Cline, of course.

  8. Ann, you wear a wig? All that happy-go-lucky blonde looked so natchrall over soup and salad and crackers made with charcoal that day way back when…I’ll look closer next time; promise. Congratulations on the article! xo, c.

  9. I have an ionic hairdryer that I swear by… not sure what it does, but when the green light is on I sure feel like my hair is going to look better. It helps if I slather on the moose? Not as in animal, but how the heck do you spell it? Anyway, loved your blurb.

  10. The two of you never cease to amaze me with all of your fabulousness!

  11. I’m running out to Longs to find a copy of Real Simple’s Food issue right now!

  12. as always, it’s SO rewarding to take a minute and read. in fact, I’m thinking I should read you two every day before work. then I can leave with a smile on my face.

  13. But isn’t that Nashville hair all artificial? Just saying.

  14. Kay. Thank you for reminding me of all my hair aspirations. I’ve been fighting the urge to cut, and that picture of Dolly Parton – it IS Essential. I can ignore, for now, my complete aversion and disinterest in spending any time at all styling my hair or putting products in it, and encourage myself not to cut it. Oh, the fabulousness.
    But the real zinger is your ending: the limit of your natural abilities? I’m dying for that. Not out of schadenfreude, but because I have an enormous amount of faith in your UNnatual abilities. I think I would save it for the third book, if I were you, but Kay’s SUPERnatural knitting is where it’s at.

  15. Hey, if ya’ll ( an that’s a REAL ya’ll- Mobile , AL, transplanted in Boston belle here) can’t find REAL SIMPLE FOOD let me know, we have a bunch at work and I’ll grab them. NO it’s NOT Walmart…. This is a Mason-Dixon collectors dream! I see a cook book next, don’t ya’ll??

  16. Wigs.
    That’s how they get Nashville hair.
    Everybody can buy Big Hair, but can everybody knit? Nah. You’ve got it all over them, darlin’.
    ~Priscilla

  17. Wow Kay, it gives me hope when you hit your limits, I seem to hit mine a lot. But hubbo loves the two bathmats, so at least I’ve got that going for me.
    PS. Definitely use the sign for a bar-mitzvah, I’m going to suggest that to my brother for my nephews.

  18. My old roommate used to have some Nashville hair that she kept on a mannequin head on her dresser. Never wore it, just liked it.
    Have you seen the Gee’s Bend quilt postage stamps? Gloriosky, they’re neat.

  19. Ann, how do you get that hair to swoop so nicely over the eye? Like, you can see, but it’s got that glam je ne sais quoi, ya know. Rushing out to find the magazine now (and pick up some tomato sauce for dinner).

  20. I get Nashville big if I blow dry the wrong way, but I don’t think I’ve ever gotten Nashville good.

  21. For indeed, there has been knitting of the dramatic and upsetting kind, in which one discovers the limits of one’s natural abilities.
    Uh oh. That doesn’t sound good. But you’re still up and typing, so I guess it can’t be all that bad, either. Hoping for the best…

  22. You look fabu in that mag! Saltines and Tang, yummmm.

  23. Too funny! I merchandise magazines for a living and *just* put up this Real Simple Food issue today. It never occured to me that a knitting diva would be in it!
    Ang

  24. A few things to remember:1.when asked how long it took to do her hair, Dolly replied,”I don’t know, I’m never there when they’re doing it!” 2.”You’d be surprised at how much it cost to look this cheap!” and lastly, “I’m not offended by dumb blonde jokes. I know I’m not dumb and I know I’m not blonde!” I do love that woman. She’s got a great sense of humor. I’ll bet she knits too.

  25. Was going to say, pssst, someone needs to tell Kay that Dolly has a whole ROOM just for the wigs…
    But everyone beat me to it. And now I’m having Final Net Nightmares. Honey, I can still smell that stuff on bad days…ewwww…

  26. Pssttt! The reason that there is no really great classic Nashville hair anymore is that now ladies are trying with their real hair, you can’t do that on your own head, in a mirror. That kind of greatness can only be done on a wooden maniquin and from the front. :0

  27. ladies– wish that i could find that mag. at the dépanneur in Sutton– unfortunately, i don’t think they stock ‘real simple.’ but ann– you look stunning. here’s to the meetings of the chatterbags!

  28. I went to vocational school for printing in 1986. I’ve yet to actually work in a print shop, though! I wonder if I went East, I could get a job at Hatch Show Print. I agree with you on the ambiance of the place. I can smell the ink just looking at the pic! Love the “wallpaper”!

  29. Speaking of Nashville and hair, is that a Willie Nelson look-a-like standing next to that printing press? As a girl originally from the deep south I feel I must quote the Sweet Potato Queen by reminding y’all “The higher the hair the closer to God!” Fun post!

  30. Great hair! I’ll have to check out the spread, too. I just caught the words Real Simple (not Special Issue), so I was bummed when I combed through my latest issue and didn’t find you. Guess I’ll have to try again! Congrats!