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Latest Headlines from Nashville, Sudden Media Darling

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Dear Kay,
Well, CNN’s Anderson Cooper is coming to town today. I hope to hell he gets over to the fellas’ school in time to cover the middle school talent show.
My prediction for his empathetic cry moment: on the steps of the Country Music Hall of Fame, in waders from Barneys, wiping a semi-tear from his eye with a piece of damp sheet music for a Ferlin Husky song. He’ll look into the camera and say, “On the wings of a snow white dove, Music City will rise anew.”
Don’t get me wrong; we luv ya, Anderson! Get us some more of that FEMA money!
Oh right. The FLOOD. That ironically has caused a major clean-water shortage. That has at least six of us resisting the urge to wash our cars.
Regional Headlines
–Country Star John Rich’s House Slides Down Hill; Neighbors Caught Behind Garage Pushing It
–Schermerhorn Symphony Center To Retool As Schermerhorn String Quartet Center
–Antioch Man Urges New Water-Saving Plan; “Go In The Yard” Idea Upsets Neighbors; “Hey, Your Dog Does It Every Day; What’s The Problem Here?”
Opry Mills Pirhanas Still On Prowl; Last Seen In Saks Outlet Behind The Seven For All Mankind Denim Display
–Green Hills “SUV Mom” in Slappy Fight With Belmont Area Sierra Club Member: “He was making fun of my irrigation system, so I just grabbed his stinky Birkenstock and whacked on his damn Prius or whatever the hell that thing is. All high and mighty he was.”
Mayor Karl Dean Suspected Of Flooding Own Basement In Ploy For Sympathy; Denies Running Garden Hose Through Window; “I Was Rigging Up A Siphon, Sort Of”
Watch for me on TV tomorrow! Anderson’s gonna want to know about the state of my yarn stash. I just know he’ll show up on my doorstep.
Love,
Ann

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23 Comments

23 Comments

  1. And just how is your yarn stash? I hope it wasn’t in your basement!
    Hope things get back to normal fairly soon.

  2. Woman, you have talent. I’m agog, I tell you.

  3. A perfect start to my work day!!!

  4. Ditto all of the above!
    I, too, was worried about your yarn stash, but thought since you didn’t mention it, it was O.K.
    I fervently hope that my assumption was true.
    LoveDiane

  5. Well of course he will be there for the talent show and yarn stash update. Why else would he be in town? I’ve seen massive flooding in a rural area, can’t even imagine what it’s like in a city. Thoughts and prayers for all still dealing with the water and its aftereffects.

  6. I’d fax you my dehumidifier if I could.

  7. So darn funny! It is terrifically miserable so let’s laugh a little. I was in the Mayor’s basement, you have to commend his wife for drying out all of his old love letters!

  8. PS. I’ll take all the water you wish to fax. We are in a drought.
    Could somebody please invent a mega fax/transporter please.

  9. I love your fantasy world…Give him a smooch on the cheek for me – he’s a cutie!

  10. I know you are truly adored by your readers but I really do adore you both. Your humor, and obvious caring about the issues, and let us not forget love of yarn, makes me want to be both your friends. Join the line I know.
    I wish I could be as articulately graceful in the face of, I believe the term is now “challenges” as opposed to tragedy, crisis, hell, etc. as you both are.

  11. I give you kudos for maintaining your (fabulous) sense of humor during this crisis. My thoughts and wishes are with you, your stash, and all of Nashville right now. And when Mr. Cooper stops by your place, you just remind him that both he and CNN have enough money to replace all your damaged wool, and you won’t appear on camera until they cough up the dough.

  12. Mmmm….Anderson Cooper
    He is So! Cute!

  13. Yummm, Anderson Cooper…

  14. Yummm, Anderson Cooper…

  15. You took the words right off my blog. My rant, plus another less vitriolic account than mine located in the comments, just echo what we all feel around here….just where is the national media?

  16. Flooded Nashville v. BP Gulf Oil Spill got friends and family at both locations. Poor Media, must be stretched thin is all I can think.
    Maybe we can send some Good Ole Boys in bass boats out after the piranha – poor little fishies won’t stand a chance for sure.
    BP oil spill – some of those Good Ole Boys in shrimp boats gonna lower the boom/s in more than one location!
    Love those Good Ole Boys, might have to knit up sum’thin sum’thin for ‘em. Ya’ll hang in there.

  17. I would really like to see you discuss your yarn stash with Anderson!

  18. Anderson is so hot! Him showing up on your doorstep would be the one highlight of this whole tragedy.

  19. Ann, honey ( born in Alabama lived there for 25 yrs,you understand, we are probably kin) you are just too damn funny, I have not laughed that hard in forever! Please make a new audio of these blogs, I just want to listen to ya’ll all day! I really do feel for you guys with all that flooding, people don’t realize whatelse you are having to put up with… there are snakes everywhere,they are tired of swimming too….be sure and tell Anderson about your blog, you are so worthy of being on his show! P.S. do you think he’s a southern boy, with a first name like Anderson, his Mama just may have been… Wendy

  20. Ann, honey ( born in Alabama lived there for 25 yrs,you understand, we are probably kin) you are just too damn funny, I have not laughed that hard in forever! Please make a new audio of these blogs, I just want to listen to ya’ll all day! I really do feel for you guys with all that flooding, people don’t realize whatelse you are having to put up with… there are snakes everywhere,they are tired of swimming too….be sure and tell Anderson about your blog, you are so worthy of being on his show! P.S. do you think he’s a southern boy, with a first name like Anderson, his Mama just may have been… Wendy

  21. take care

  22. Ah Ann, I love ya. I was asked yesterday by a Washington type what the silver lining was in all of this. I really couldn’t find a lot to laugh at until I came here. Sumner County still has water (good thing to live on a lake but we didn’t want it so close to the house). We lived on an island for two days water locked from the world. The Castner Knott buidling requires water, it seems, to have air conditioning. Any fan salesman with a good perfume could have made a fortune in the last two days. Everyone in Nashville is greatful for the love from afar. Remember the Red Cross. They are working miracles here. Those of us here who have little harm need to clean closets and gather things together for our neighbors who lost much. I guess we won’t be doing Opryland Hotel for Mother’s Day this year.
    Mary Sue

  23. I have been known to run into hurricanes and the like, just to catch a glimpse of Andy…..