Girls Gone Mild
October 21, 2005
Apparently the National Trust for Scotland has received 1,000 applications from people who want to move to Fair Isle. The vast majority are from people living in the U.S. Our woman in London, Belinda (bless her!), sends this latest report from the BBC4 program “You and Yours” aka “Those Americans Are Nuts.” Click on the “Listen Again” button. The Fair Isle report starts at 10:58 into the show.
I have unearthed a transcript of the first meeting as the culling process began:
Mr. McDonough: Gentlemen, we have a large task on our hands. When have we ever had a thousand people wanting to move here? Not since the shipwreck of the Armada flagship El Gran Griffon in 1588 have we had this much media attention. We must choose carefully.
Mr. McHugh: Och aye, Duncan. So many people. So many Americans. What are they thinking?
Mr. McGregor: What does this mean? [sounds of paper rustling] “If I don’t get out of this place, I’m going postal.”
Mr. McHugh: DEFINITELY call her. Lachlan has been dreadful about getting the mail on the ferry in time.
Mr. McGregor: Here’ a knitter. She’s asking if we have wi fi. [hoots of laughter] We’ve barely got fi, missy.
Mr. McDaniel: This one wants to start a yarn shop. [more hoots] As IF we need any more of THAT around here. Shall we all agree straight off that the whole knitting thing has got to stop, and stop now?
[sounds of assent, one “hellyeah” and one “enough with the freakin’ stranded handknits”]
Mr. McKelvin: This one keeps going on about Virginia Woolf and a room of one’s own and how she thinks Fair Isle represents some sort of Camelot for overwhelmed women.
Mr. McOwen: Bleh! Can’t stand that pretentious b.s. Chuck that one.
Mr. McFraser: What about this? It’s a group of some kind–are they dancers? Have you seen this video they sent? “Girls Gone Wild–Spring Break Cancun”? These are finalists, if you ask me.
Mr. McLeod: We’ve got but two houses to let, man. That’s at least two dozen lassies there.
Mr. McHugh: Right you are. We move on.
An EVENT in Manhattan!
You are all cordially exhorted to attend a knit-in/read-in/loiter-in next week. A group of contributors to KnitLit the Third is going to be reading their pieces at Coliseum Books, 11 West 42nd St., on Wednesday, Oct. 26. from 6:30-8 pm. Among the talented folks scheduled to appear, Kay is going to be reading the piece about us. Hope you can all come.
In a minute, in a minute! Right this second, I have a gaggle of knitters headed toward the house in 24 minutes, and let’s just say that the twelve pounds of Star Wars Legos need to find a new home other than the floor of the den. Must preserve that illusion that our floor is toy free at all times.