The Elements of Bro Style
June 2, 2011
Too hot to knit? I think I pushed the edge of the envelope on knitting this past weekend in Baltimore, during the NCAA Lacrosse Championship immersion weekend with Clif. Oh sweet Jebus it was hot, but we found some shade, slathered on the SPF 100 (is that even possible? It’s basically house paint, right?), and hunkered down for just a boatload of high-speed action, on the field and on the needles.
Net result: four Mitered Squares blanket squares, five matches, three championships, and one completely blissed-out 11 year old. No sunburns, a lot of $4 water, and for me, an education in what it is to be a lax bro.
The stadium was loaded with lax bros. If you don’t know what a lax bro is, here’s your help:
(In no particular order. Every single element is crucial and unvarying. It’s all highly brand-specific, so it’s very simple to go bro. I’ve never seen so many identically dressed guys. Incredible, actually.)
Lax penny. These meshy tank-top jersey things are what lax players wear during games. And any other time of day.
Sunglasses. When not in use, upside down and stuck on your hat. Which is backwards, never forward.
Bracelets. Must have the word Lacrosse somewhere on them. Hemp, rubber, whatever. Minimum three.
Tall black socks. You can’t see them here, but they’re there.
Flo. Hair long enough to poke out from the bottom of your lax helmet. Bro flo.
Hat. Backwards. Never forward. If you wear it forward, it means that you are old:
Clif met a lacrosse superstar, Mike Powell.
And he scored a game-worn Salisbury Seagulls Division 3 championship elbow pad. Fresh off a player. Hauntingly authentic. I asked him if I could boil it. He said no.