So many truths learned in the past few days. So many truths.
To recap: Last week, I was at the crossroads of deciding whether to add a lace border to this moss-stitch cowl. Should I leave it simple and unbordered, or should I go for it?
I decided to add the border. Twelve rows. How bad could twelve rows be? I can do anything for twelve rows.
Truth: Trust your gut, even when your gut starts out telling you one thing and right in the middle changes its mind and tells you to stop trusting it. If your gut changes its mind, you should change your mind, too.
A few rows in, I noticed that the border was behaving differently from the absolutely flat moss stitch. It was . . . not flat. It was sort of curlyish. It was doing a thing. I knit on, uninterested in investigating what I decided could easily have been an optical illusion.
Truth: You can’t wish something into something it ain’t.
When the cowl came off the needle, the curlyishness morphed into a full-on border revolt. It rolled up in a resolute way, like a sturdy stockinette. My experience in blocking stockinette has taught me that no amount of redemptive blocking would make this edge lay flat. The yarn wants what the yarn wants. Especially when it’s a cowl that is to be worn doubled around the neck. See? Imagine a neck in the middle of this pile, and you’ll see that the border has an impossible task.
Truth: The suspended bind off is a game changer.
I’d always heard about the suspended bind off, a stretchier variation of a basic bind off, but I’d never tried it. I AM A CONVERT. This tutorial by Bella Knitting is an excellent explanation. (I like that she named one of the stitches Fred.) The resulting bind off is indeed stretchy, flexible, and for some reason super-uniform. Outstanding!
Truth: Even amid the ruins, there is hope.
After taking photos of this unfortunate border, in the greenish gloaming of my dank bedroom, I took solace in the nearest food at hand.
A giant can of popcorn in three flavors can be a three-course meal when approached with the right attitude.
Appetizer: Cheesy popcorn.
Entrée: Buttery popcorn.
Dessert: Caramel corn.
The frogging of the border will begin as soon as I wash the orange popcorn powder off my greasy little fingers.
PS I don’t know if you recall, but my goal for Christmas was to eat an entire chocolate orange. All I can say is that not only did I not eat one, I couldn’t remember where in the hell I hid the thing, so now there’s a soon-to-be-stale chocolate orange stashed somewhere in this mess I call home.