A while back, we oversaw a fairly elaborate vote to determine one of the burning questions of our time: what is the official cookie of Mason-Dixon Knitting?
It was a bare-knuckles brawl, but hey—freedom isn’t free, y’all. It was a clean vote, no hanging chads or smoky back-room dealmaking.
The voters’ fingers have been dipped in milk. The UN poll inspectors have all gone home. Jimmy Carter has concluded that democracy has been served. Here’s how the 2,450 votes stacked up in the quest for The Official Cookie of Mason-Dixon Knitting:
- Girl Scout Thin Mint 249
- Pepperidge Farm Milano 208
- Walker’s Shortbread 200
- Girl Scout Samoa 135
- Chocolate-covered Digestive 118
- Oreo 111
- Carr’s Ginger Lemon Creme 103
- Le Petit Ecolier 98
- Tim Tam 76
- Fig Newton 74
- Oreo Double Stuf 64
- Trader Joe’s Peppermint Joe-Joe’s 58
- McVities Hob Nob 57
- Anna’s Ginger Thins 56
- Trader Joe’s Triple Ginger Snaps 55
- Pecan Sandies 54
- Lorna Doone 49
- Trader Joe’s Chocolate Almond Horn 47
- Pepperidge Farm Chocolate Chunk Sausalito 47
- Girl Scout Tagalong 47
- Vienna Fingers 45
- Mallomar 45
- Moon Pie 45
- Frosted Animal Cookies w/Sprinkles 42
- Pim’s 35
- Nutter Butter 33
- Famous Amos Chocolate Chip 31
- Pepperidge Farm Brussels 27
- Bahlsen Choco Leibniz 24
- Nonni’s Biscotti 21
- Archway Frosted Lemon 21
- Newman’s Own Ginger-O 19
- Moravian Spice Cookies 18
- Pepperidge Farm Gingerman 14
- Pepperidge Farm Pirouette 13
- Pepperidge Farm Bordeaux 13
- Ikea Kakor Chokladflarn 11
- Oreo Double Stuf Mint 11
- Famous Chocolate Wafer 11
- Jammie Dodger 10
- Keebler Soft Batch Chocolate Chip 10
- Keebler French Vanilla Creme 10
- Trader Joe’s Meringues 8
- Oreo Fudgee 8
- LU Cinnamon Spice 8
- Lemon Hydrox 7
- Fresh Market Kitchen Sink 4
A hearty high five to Girl Scout Thin Mints, the Official Cookie of Mason-Dixon Knitting!
Now, I realize that there are Thin Mint detractors out there. I know that some of you will say that the reason Thin Mints are eaten in such quantity is that the only way to get the taste of a Thin Mint out of your mouth is to eat another Thin Mint. I know that some of you refer to the coating as “polymerlike,” or “waxy,” or indeed “not really chocolate.” I know that some of you think mint is a toothpaste flavor, not a cookie flavor. And I say: I hear you. I may even believe these things. But that does not matter.
What matters is that a strong, clear Thin Mint voice was raised. A quick scan of Google will reveal that Thin Mints have long been the best-selling Girl Scout cookie.
So when you see that Girl Scout cookie order form in the break room at work, order a box or two of Thin Mints. The Girl Scouts and the Girl Scout Cookie Parents of the world will thank you.
Miss Congeniality Awards
Best Cookie to Eat While Knitting: It has been pointed out that if you combined the Lorna Doone vote and the Walker’s Shortbread vote, shortbread would have won the day. Many have extolled the tidiness of a shortbread cookie, the way you can eat ’n’ knit without chocolaty calamity, the way shortbread really sings when eaten with tea.
Most Fun Cookie: Tim Tams. Good lord, people, who knew you could turn a cookie into an activity? You Tim Tammers are clearly having a better time with your cookies than anybody else. My sister Buffy has emailed me about the Tim Tam Slam, and she even went so far as to buy a vast quantity of Tim Tams for holiday gifts because her husband came back from a trip to Australia with these chocostravaganzas.
Best Name: Ikea Kakor Chokladflarn.
Best Surprise Contender: Chocolate-covered Digestives. Way to rally the troops on this one. Impressive showing for a cookie that has the word digestive in it.
Wishing you all a fine, cookie-loaded day.