As you may have heard, Spring Break is upon us. At 12:01 pm yesterday, life as I know it ended, and the tasty thing known as Time to Myself has evaporated. I can feel it already–there has already been a request for Lucky Charms, the official breakfast cereal of Spring Break.
I’m going to be away next week, so I need you to house-sit for me. Here are the things that need to be taken care of:
1. Feed the blog. There’s a sack of content over by the hot water heater. One big scoop a day will do.
2. Water the blog. Do NOT forget to change the water. Don’t think just because there’s water in the bowl that it’s GOOD water. It’s got to be NEW water.
3. Bring in the mail. Don’t let it pile up in my In box. Feel free to coordinate the soccer team’s snack schedule while you’re at it. Which reminds me: how did I end up being the Snack Coordinator? I think I’ve mentioned to you how much I hate Snack.
4. (most important) Please do NOT have any house parties while I’m gone. That means: no intarsia, no denim, no shrinking or fading or dyeing. When I get home, if I can smell even the slightest hint of a bleach pen, we’ll have to talk.
Where are we going? To the jungly ruins of the Yucatan! It is SO rustic down there in Mexico: I have heard that you can go a HUNDRED MILES without seeing a Wal-Mart. Can you imagine?
I’ll try to write, but I may end up in some Alfred Maudslay Victorian Mayan ruin explorer fantasy, and we may not come back. The children will just end up archaeology brats. Did you know that in the 1880s, there was a woman, Annie Hunter, who spent twenty years in the jungle painting pictures of all the Mayan hieroglyphs and carvings. For posterity? For the ages?
Nay, it was so that dorks like us could come down on spring break 120 years later and go, “Look at all this crazy stuff. Hey–that bus smell is kind of making me queasy.”