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  • If I didn’t live in Nashville, I wouldn’t believe it! I’m a Shelbyville descendant, but still!

  • I thought serving Cheetos might qualify as assault.
    ha ha.
    But have you seen the new tofu, tastes just like human flesh, apparently: http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=168
    I think I’d better stop cruising the web and get knitting….

  • WHAT????????????

  • There Really Should Be Pictures to go along w/ that…

  • Oh my. OTOH maybe Cheetos were a good choice. I think Doritos might be more painful.

  • I really like how the reporter had to mention no one was injured. Really? Did someone get Cheetos dust in their eye and had to be rushed to the ER? Was someone impaled by the cheesy snack?

  • There’s probably a defense case to be based on influence by the current Cheetos commercials. They don’t exactly encourage responsible Cheetos use.

  • Please tell me this is an April Fools joke (or that there is not much crime in Shelbyville!!!)

  • Snack food as an assault weapon. What’s this world coming to??
    Will you need a license to buy chips??

  • Snack food as an assault weapon. What’s this world coming to??
    Will you need a license to buy chips??

  • Snack food as an assault weapon. What’s this world coming to??
    Will you need a license to buy potato chips??

  • And THAT is why I love living in the South!

  • (sung ala Freddie Fender) vaya con Cheetos, my darling….

  • Do you think they were inspired by Sandy Skoglund? Check out the Cocktail Party: http://www.sandyskoglund.com/pages/imagelist_fl/1992_95fl/index.htm?detectflash=false&

  • I need details. I DEMAND details.

  • I need details. I DEMAND details. Ann, go interview these people for us, would you?

  • Pretty please with sugar on the top?

  • That just made my day! Thank you!

  • Like Carla, I am dismayed that there are no backup details. “Assault with Cheetos” leaves too much to the imagination. The New York Post would be ALL OVER THIS.
    Ann. Just run over and visit. Tell us what you find out.
    I also give you props for having Cheetos on hand to photograph. Always the professional.
    xoxoxo Kay

  • The horror! Ugly orange, oily stains every where!

  • I’m with Carla, I need details. Now, the ones in your picture are the fried one-my personal favorite, and I suppose if aimed just right, they might make it one or two feet if thrown. By the way, was it really Cheetos, and not some cheesy doodles that were used? See, it’s all about the details. I’m lovin’ it.

  • Oh, how tragic for poor Chester; he must be so grieved that the product he promotes is being used for evil. I hope this incident doesn’t damage his reputation. I wonder if there will be an interview.

  • Shelbyville is pretty hard up for news isn’t it?

  • Yep. Stupid lives everywhere.

  • Sometimes the news can’t be believed, and sometimes it comes with an extra dose of cheese!
    (now I want cheetos, even though I really don’t want bright orange fingers!)

  • let’s say… you have something precious to you and it’s white… or beige… and somebody else threatens to get cheeto orange on your white thing..
    “you knock it off or i am going to dump cheetos on your white thing…”
    and the other person responds …
    “oh yeah?? well YOU knock it off or I am going to dump cheetos on YOUR white thing….”
    I think that would be attempted assault with cheetos…

  • I’m thinking “slingshots.”


  • this is all we are haveing for dinner!
    i told you i do not cook
    i am flying to argentina she cooks
    oh really give me my cheetos back right now

  • Y’all HAVE to go on the newspaper link and read the posted comments HI-LAR-I-OUS. Some posts may shed light on the situation and others may raise more questions…. Ann, you MUST get the scoop.

  • You know, I still have a clipping on my refrigerator from my hometown (Pacifica, CA) of a person accused of a hate-crime using produce.

  • For those who try to eat right, do they make reduced-assault Cheetos?

  • There aren’t many affronts to humanity or nature quite like the cheeto. I wonder if they used the baked or fried variety?
    I’d use a dorito to make my point.

  • ROFL over the comments to both your post here and the news article post you linked to. XO

  • I grew up in Shelbyville. This event is not surprising at all. In any way.

  • Oh, Mags, I grew up in Pacifica– I’d love to see that clipping! Seems to me that the properly selected fruit or vegetable would have to be a deadlier weapon than a Cheeto.

  • “Yes, your honor, I’m afraid I did assault her with my Cheetos. I can’t quite explain what came over me. It was something about the powdery orange-stained fingers on her finger tips and around what should have been her sweet, pink lips. Yes, I think that’s what did it.”
    (A slight shudder tremored across his broad, tanned shoulders, rippling beneath the almost too-tight shirt.)
    “Even now I’m having a hard time just thinking about it. You know what I mean, sir? And it’s hard even after all this time, so hard to just think of… orange fingers… orange lips…” and he trailed off meditatively into his own private hell.

  • Now school lunchrooms will have to install Cheetos detectors.

  • Ann, I’m with Kay. We must know more. I have a better than average imagination but I come up short in figuring out cheetoh as weapon.

  • Must have been a slow news day!

  • Did you hear about the two peanuts who walking down the street together? One was a salted.