A few years ago, David came home from school and said that if we left saltines and water under our Christmas tree, an elf would come and stay with us until Christmas Eve. He said all his friends had elves.
I had never heard of such a thing, but what the heck. If the Tooth Fairy and Santy Claus knew our address, maybe we could lure an elf if we laid out the right schnax. So David set out a plate, and lo and behold, the next day there was a creepy little trollish elf sitting in the branches of our tree. David started writing notes to him, and it turned out that this elf was named Eduardo and he was 874 years old.
Eduardo, it turned out, liked to write letters to David, and he would give David quizzes:
1. What’s your favorite thing about Christmas?
David’s answer: Getting gifts.
2. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
David’s answer: Chuckey Chese’s. [sic]
3. How much do you like bran cereal? A lot? or a whole lot?
David’s answer: A whole lot.
The next year, David’s brother Clif was old enough to start luring elves, too. Another one showed up, named Jingle, and he was an amateur dentist, he said.
Anyway, this has been going on for a while now, and sometimes the elves go sort of dormant for a few days, and sometimes they forget to eat saltines, and sometimes they go on long trips to the North Pole. They hang out in our freezer because it’s never really cold enough for them in Nashville. But they seem to like it here, and they like writing the boys, and the fellas get into deep philosophical discussions about, like, how can Santa make all the toys? Is luck real? Are we going to get a Wii for Christmas?
They always leave December 24th, and we’re always sad when they do.
The First Gift of Christmas
Speaking of gifts, I do believe I am the proud owner of a totally fab felted bag, thanks to Clif’s second grade knitting skillz and also the considerable help of his teacher, the amazing Mrs. Smith. Clif gave it to me about two seconds after coming in the door from school. I told him how much I loved it, and I was going to put it under the tree to open again at Christmas. He looked at me like I was crazy and said, “Mom. Why would you do that? I mean, I just gave it to you already.”
As for what I’m knitting, it’s highly miscellaneous and not really blogworthy at the moment. But I’m hoping to get a mojo on shortly.