Readers tell me that it’s hard to visualize how one would wear a shawl that has a wingspan of something like 90 inches. (Not to mention how to knit the thing; now that it’s done I’m sort of amazed that I did it.) [Edited to add: It’s not 90 inches, upon measurement, it’s 120 inches.][Yikes.]
I asked my assistant, Orna, to demonstrate.
Step 1: Put on your vintage Chanel sunglasses. (“Kay, you don’t think the glasses, indoors, look….stupid?” No! What are you talking about? Who’s running this?)
Step 2: Place shawl, orienting yarnovers down center back, with tails hanging down in front. Toss one long tail over the opposite shoulder, then the other tail over its opposite shoulder, effectively swaddling the wearer. Jooge lightly, until ecstatic.
Here we see how the tails hang down the back in dramatic fashion. Jemima Puddleduck could use this information.
NB: The point of the shawl hangs below the seat-of-pants area. This is critical, as one of the aggravating factors of Jemima Puddleduck Syndrome is when the point of a triangular shawl appears to be directing the viewer’s eye to the wearer’s keister. (Orna made me promise to crop this area, on general principle (the principle being Do Not Show My Butt on the Internet, which is hard to argue with), so you have to trust me on this. The shawl is long; this is key.)
Alternate: You can tie it in back like an apron, if you’re working a market stall or something and don’t want your tails coming undone.
A DELICIOUSLY RICH AND REFRESHING CONTEST
I have successfully cadged five copies of Jane Gottelier’s fabulous new book, Tea and Knitting, so let the contest begin! Here’s how to enter:
Leave a comment to this post telling us your favorite tea. Do this by noon tomorrow, New York time. (This is a Nestea Instant Tea type of contest. Snip-snap, it’s done! Remember the instant lemon-flavored ice tea mix? It had that paper seal on the jar that was so fun to jab with a spoon? And how weirdly delicious the wet powder tasted?)
No muss! No fuss! We’ll crank up the random number generator and announce the winners tomorrow.
My favorite tea. I like that it has the name Yorkshire in it. I like that the bags are staple-free. I like that it’s inexpensive. I like the way one bag makes a large amount of very strong but not bitter tea in less than a minute. It’s not fancy. There is no “leaf” concept: it’s almost powder. May Fairway never stop carrying it, along with the Heinz baked beans, the wine gums, and the Bird’s custard, on the Exotic English Items shelf.
FAQs about the Tea Contest
Q: Does my favorite tea have to be different from any other entrant’s favorite tea?
Q: What if I do not have a favorite tea?
A. We encourage you to lie.