OK so that color test thing totally sucks. At first I was all, “Neat! What a fun little test!” but now that everybody has taken the test and gotten everything from a perfect score to a deeply human and beautiful score, I realize that a test like that is the L.A.S.T. thing any of us should be taking. Unless you work at the Pantone Corporation or Benjamin Moore LLC or the Yarn Naming Department of Rowan Yarns, who gives a rat’s backside whether you can tell the difference between a bunch of colors on a screen?
Very sorry. Very sorry about that. I’d like to think that we are helping things here, not making them worse.
In the interest of being helpful, here you go.
Last night the kitchen sink spontaneously backed up. Ceased to function, just like that. We (and by we I mean I, because everybody else in the house stopped by the sink to express concern, disappointment at not being able to fix a glass of water, and general gross-outedness) did the first of two things that we usually do when this happens: we got out the plunger. We vetted as carefully as possible its credentials as the SINK plunger and not THE OTHER plunger, then commenced plunging.
I started to do the second thing I usually do, which is to call the plumber. Despite the fact that we have one of those pipe augur snake things on a shelf in the garage, I have never really explored what one would do with such a thing. I think Hubbo bought it when he was a bachelor, which puts the snake into the realm of Reagan-era relic.
Last time the plumber came, I noticed that he used a snake of the exact shape and color as the snake in our garage. And charged us $125 to perform a maneuver that involved a bucket, a wrench, and that snake.
In the interest of saving $125, this morning I dialed up a YouTube entitled “How to Unclog a Sink Using a Drain Snake.”
There is so much to love about this video: the humble, nameless guy who is JUST TRYING TO HELP. The fact that he actually dismantles the pipe under the sink in a way that looks achievable. The fact that he teaches us the name of that pipe under the sink: “The P trap.”
I learned, as I unscrewed the “slip nuts” of the P trap, that the P is for “PFAFF IT HE DIDN’T MENTION THE GUSHING WATER INTO THE BUCKET PART.” Fortunately, the amount of gushing water was a lot less than the capacity of the bucket. But I was unpleasantly reminded of the way it feels when you flush a toilet but it isn’t really flushing right. This was the challenging moment of this project.
“Snaking” followed the P trap removal, and in a quick and gratifying maneuver, I DID IT.
Total time spent: 23 minutes, including the unceremonial dumping of the slop bucket in the backyard. I have spent a lot more time trying to cast on for a pair of socks.
So if you are looking for a way to feel really competent, go snake out your kitchen sink. You can spend the $125 you save on yarn, or shoes, or a Costco-size container of Purell.