You may think you have been watching a lot of teevee, but I doubt it’s anything like the astonishing amount I digested this weekend. Because of this crummy head cold, I weakly lifted the remote, bravely grasped with wavering hands the knitting needles, and watched just about every single Olympic moment of the past 72 hours.
Interspersed with the slower moments of the slalom qualifying runs, I managed to mash the channel button enough to lead me to two reality shows that are so alarming and addicting that I must share them with you.
1. Millionaire Matchmaker. This Bravo series is not new, but recent episodes, watched while under the haze of cold medicine, are almost psychedelic. Will Patty the Matchmaker get Jason Davis, the weird grandson of a media mogul, to clean his fingernails enough to make it through a date? Did Patty actually call one woman a “firecrotch”? Did I really hear that?
2. Kell on Earth. After Project Runway, After The Rachel Zoe Project, the next obvious fashionista reality show needed to be about somebody who runs fashion shows in New York. Kelly Cutrone is that woman. The amount of anxiety that she provokes in her staff is so extreme that I myself just about burst into fire-me tears when her assistant had to confess that the guest list for the Chado Ralph Rucci show was . . . messed up. If your job is too good, if your life is not filled with excruciating co-workers and incoherent bosses, well, this is the show for you. New episode tonight on Bravo! Two people are getting fired!
In the fog of it all, I finished Citron, a choice little project, and I even managed to block the thing. (Highest and best use of those thin curving blocking wires!) I got it to the 34-inch width called for in the pattern, but I do think my gauge was tight. The ruching is kind of blasted at the moment, but yarn being what it is, I hope it will rumple up soon enough. Malabrigo Lace is the savvy shopper’s choice for a dreamy and cushy yarn at reasonable cost: mine was $10 for a 400-yard skein.
It’s a little neck napkin.
PS Here are my controversial Olympic opinions. Feel free to debate these.
1. Bobsleigh is not a sport; it’s transportation. Guy #2 rides with his head down, hidden completely behind Guy #1–he doesn’t even see where he’s going! It’s like giving a gold medal to the backside of the donkey costume. Like giving a gold medal to the ballast on the Titanic. (Yes, I watched two hours of that on the History Channel, too.)
2. The Russian ice dancing team who competed while wearing Australian aboriginal costumes really needs to stop doing that. It’s just terrible, for any number of reasons. There ought to be a limit on the square footage of fake skin allowed per skater.
3. In a related vein, any sport that requires makeup is not a sport.
4. Downhill Cross, where four skiers race each other simultaneously down the mountain, is a cross between roller derby and demolition derby. Feels irresponsible to watch it!
5. Bode Miller seemed so great when he finally won his gold medal, after so many missed opportunities. Older wiser, maybe.
6. Apollo Ohno: fabulous in every way. Give him a medal for his freakin name!