With the Presidential election mere days—hours—away, we can no longer remain silent. The people demand that we speak. MDK cannot be neutral on matters of such importance.
There is really only one choice in 2016.
Hand in hand, speaking with one voice, we announce our endorsement:
Clara Parkes For President
Seriously—wouldn’t that be great? Wouldn’t you sleep a whole lot better if Clara were in charge?
Now, we’ve all heard the rumors.
Don’t listen to anybody who claims Clara’s in the pocket of Wool Street. Clara’s no shill for Big Yarn—she hardly ever goes above worsted weight, people.
Come to think of it, Clara may be in the pocket of Small Yarn. She’s flock-specific by nature. But is that bad? The woman is downright Jeffersonian!
With Clara, there is not a whiff of scandal. (That smell? It’s lanolin, or maybe linseed oil, used to keep antique mule spinning mills creaking along. Calm down.)
Clara’s got the common touch. Next Halloween, it will be so much fun to see the White House trick-or-treaters dressed up as President Parkes, homemade biscuits and jam, and pie. Think of what her election will do for the Stuffed Sheep Toy industry.
We will become, once again, a pastoral nation.
Literally—we will spend a lot of time in pastures.
On Tuesday, if you’re waiting until Tuesday, get out and vote. That’s our real endorsement.
I cannot wait for this to be over.