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  • Stephanie left her sock knitting in NYC? It’s like going home without your child….
    nice yarn…..

  • Frog a stitch. Just one. I dare you. (No, no, I’m only kidding but be sure to ask for a lot of ransome bootie before you hand the sock back. Stephanie has a HUGE stash.): – )

  • Oh my. I can’t believe you caught an evil smirk on Ann’s sweet, humble face.

  • Oh, that’s the funniest speaking-sock I’ve ever read. Submit that for Cast-On’s Secret Lives of Stitching?

  • I feel for you, Sock! Don’t lose hope. If you’re being held for ransom, I’m sure Stephanie will do what needs to be done to get you back safely.
    On a side note: Hey, I have the same yarn! (Even though I’m just now knitting my first sock, I have sockyarn-in-waiting)

  • The poor sock doesn’t know how fortunate it is. Its pic is on the net. It shall be famous! No longer just hidden in the bag while THE SOCK gets all the glory. And once it has had an Addi, it may want a dpn no more!
    (Thank you for the lol.)

  • That is the BEST picture I have EVER seen of Ann Shayne. It captures the sweet, the perky, the Southern, the sour and the evil. Perfect. You should see what Cat did to Cookie’s sock at sock camp. Hmm, I have a photo…
    This was one of my favorite MDK posts EVER.

  • Hang in there, sock . . . I’m sure things will work out in the end!

  • Too, too funny. Thanks for giving me a laugh I really needed today. πŸ™‚

  • Is this one of those coerced hotage letters? When the sock gets home it actually gets home, will it talk about all the things it really saw and how the land of MDK mistreats wool species?
    Or is it going to warm to its captors, be converted to cotton knitting, and begin to stripe madly?

  • Surely it can find a friend in NYC, there are so many in search of love there…

  • I adore socks. Tell them to send you to Minnesota ASAP and I will love you and knit you until you are a proud finished sock!

  • Oh, so mean! And it won’t help, you sock nappers, reading about circular needles. She’ll never convert, or do more than she’s already done, which is admit that there is more than one way to knit a sock. Help bring the sock home! =)
    Cute post!

  • sock! get thee on a foot and run away!!! keeep runnninnnngggg!!!!

  • dying of laughter. dying.

  • Oh Sock! All my best while you figure things out.

  • o.m.g.
    i’m amazed those dpns haven’t already been replaced by 2 circulars!!!
    do you hear that? in the distance?
    the zip-zipping of addi turbos?
    muahahaha!
    :o) that picture of you was the epitome of “pure” and “perky evil”.

  • oh – just slip it onto 2 circs – and send it back — we can convert Stephanie – and send a copy of Cats book with it πŸ˜€

  • Can you hearme laughing, all the way across the pond ?
    ***Free the sock one !***

  • Can you hearme laughing, all the way across the pond ?
    ***Free the sock one !***

  • “Perky Evil” … poor sock. Has the ransom demand been sent yet?

  • This. is. Brilliant.

  • I thought so much better of you. And to think…you’re… you’re … SOCKNAPPERS!!!!!

  • I thought so much better of you. And to think…you’re… you’re … SOCKNAPPERS!!!!!

  • Oh, Sock–if the Evil Ones claim that you don’t actually belong to Stephanie, I have photos of your last happy moments with her.
    And have you checked if the Evil Ones came home with the washcloths they were working on? Or were they stuffed into Stephanie’s red go-knit bag as a ruse?

  • Ha! Very funny post. Stephanie must have been seriously sleep-deprived to leave her sock behind. Poor baby.

  • How could you!? That’s like…lifting the curtain on the Wizard of Oz or something.
    Or something. That’s not quite the right analogy. I love the comment about sending it back on two circs, though!

  • Well, at least The Sock will have lots of stories to tell its mate β€” “How I was kidnapped and taken BELOW the Mason-Dixon Line!”

  • Hee Hee Cute. Poor Sock.

  • Hee Hee Cute. Poor Sock.

  • What if it came down with Sockholm syndrome and when returned to Steph it just begged to be mitered! Or thows itself on the double circs?! Will the sock ever be happy in its rightful home again?

  • this has got to be the funniest thing i’ve ever seen!

  • Leave two skeins of Koigu behind the dumpster outside the Krispy Kreme if you ever want to see your sock again.
    Mwahahahahahaha!

  • That is so funny:) By coincidence, I’m using the same yarn, looks like the same color, as Stephanie for Madder Ribbed Socks (KVS). I like Stephanie’s better. I’m sure hers is a happier sock. Mine has been frogged so many times the only humane thing to do would be to allow the Meilenweit to retire in peace in the bottom of the stash. Too sad.

  • OMG. I am laughing through my tears, but I have to ask – how’d the sock get access to the computer?
    Hang in there, sock, all is not lost (think of this as an adventure)!

  • This is so clever! What about passing the sock around blogland, and let it be a sockstar! I’ll do a scrapbook for it πŸ™‚

  • where is hedwig
    there are muggles
    lurking on these pages
    jack bauer do you have the
    missing sock caper in your gps
    we are on our way sock

  • Monday giggles!!
    I do love a bit of hilarity with my breakky :>

  • HAHAHAHAHA…this is not the sock you are looking for! these are not the droids you seek!
    Now that the sock has been swept into the Millennium Falcon, what part of the degoba system is it going to now? Because as knitters, we know that knitting CAN save the world from evil AND cold extremities!

  • Poor little sock pecking out it’s cry for help with it’s dpns. . . .This will certainly go down as one of the most classically funny posts in blogdom (“Remember when they kidnapped the sock?”)

  • I know just how it happened.
    I understand that Rosie O’Donnell was at the same gig – signing/selling her memoir…the crush of the crowd and the paparazzi must have been amazing. Rosie plus the great bloggers of Harlot and MDK? Earthshaking. Just then Donald Trump came in to plug his new book and everyone ran screaming from the room. Luckily, MDK was there to SAVE the sock…not pure evil…pure southern hospitality! The sock just doesn’t seem to understand…yet!

  • OMG is that funny!!!! Now, about the first picture; all that talent in that one simple picture! Dare I compare it too the one I remember of a group of Presidents together, all that power, brains etc….of course this was before Bush! You gals R.O.C.K. big time! What a group! More stories and photos Please!!!!

  • Hilarious. πŸ˜€

  • I fear, like the boy in O. Henry’s short story classic, “The Ransom of Red Chief” – Kay and Ann will be begging Stephanie to take back the sock.
    Hysterical!

  • HYSTERICAL
    period.

  • LOL! Loved the picture of perky evil and the methods of torturing the sock. They are diabolically suited to a Harlot sock.
    Kudos!

  • wise, wise, MDK, see what you can get for, some canadian beer should be involved in the transfer perhaps even some maple syrup

  • THAT is possibly the most fun I’ve had in weeks and weeks (well, this weekend excepted, but that’s another story). Sock? Hang in there! Give them your content and yardage and say no more. It’s on the news, your plight is being observed worldwide, you WILL be rescued. (In the meantime take notes, observe all, forget nothing – you’re sure to get a book deal of your own for such an ordeal!

  • Nearly broke my heart to realize the potential for Sockholm Syndrome and see that Meg had been there before me.

  • Well.
    S**t.

  • Oh. My. Goodness. Gracious.
    Worlds collide.
    How will it all end?

  • HAHAHA…I had to read this through a few times before I really got it (me = “cute but slow”), but now that I did, AND I see Steph’s response just above this…EXCELLENT.
    Poor sock. Hopefully Steph can rustle up the ransom and rescue you. Hopefully your captors won’t ask too high a price. πŸ˜‰

  • i’m just speechless! oh i cannot WAIT to see how this all unfolds!

  • Is there an amber alert for missing socks? I swear, you are going to make my asthama flare up! I do hope you are taking care of the sock?

  • this is just toooo funny!

  • OK, so did you steal it on purpose? When did she find out it was gone?

  • This is ink- no, the REAL Stephanie. You can send me back the sock now. It’s okay, I did like you asked and I’ve got the cashmere in a small brown bag, and it’s unmarked (no label).
    No, really, this is Stephanie.
    Honest.

  • I want to go to NYC and KNIT!!!!

  • OK, so did you steal it on purpose? When did she find out it was gone?

  • OMG – I’m waiting with bated breath! Will the sock turn to the DARK SIDE??

  • Bloody hilarious!! Sweet well behaved little sock, don’t be scared, Stephanie will surely ransom you. Please report back.

  • whoever knew a sock could be so funny?? LOL!!!

  • Such a smart sock to speak up for itself.
    I think being at the book fair would be a head-spinning event, and that all the knitting queens can ge grateful their stashes were safely home.

  • lol! thief! you know what you should do? snip a 6 inch piece of yarn from the other end of the skein and mail it to her as a ransom note.

  • Oh…poor sock, I hope it is well cared for! It is just a sweet innocent little sock. Not yet even flapped, no gusset, let alone an instep and kitchener stitch.

  • Sniggering madly. Ann, the epitome of evil – I’ve not seen such a look since Dick Dastardly. Will there be a ransom demand?

  • Oh my Gawd, that was hysterical!

  • That’s fabulous.
    Perhaps the sock needs to go on tour without Stephanie, since Stephanie is clearly okay with going on tour without the sock?
    You know, like Flat Stanley. Providence would be happy to host the sock for a day. πŸ™‚

  • Hi-LAR-ious.

  • I’ll take charge of the DC leg of the sock tour. We can take fun pictures at historic sites like the Washington Monument and the White House.

  • I second the recommendation that the sock needs to travel like Flat Stanley!! Visit those places around the US that the Harlot has missed…oh the tales it will tell…I would be happy to host it in NC!

  • Well at least the Harlot has found out πŸ˜‰ Saw her comment a bit further up!
    But I wonder whether to believe the sock – socknapped – or the version of southern hospitality (was it actually rescued?). Nomatter what I’ll be waiting eagerly for this sock-opera to unfold!

  • Come here my pretty and I’ll magic loop you finished. Cackle, cackle, cackle….

  • Poor, sweet sock. How you must suffer, in both heart and sole.
    What I want to know is, how did you get separated from Stephanie? Did they steal you, or did S. accidentally leave you behind?
    Are Kay and Ann socknappers? or are they rescuers?
    When did Stephanie realize that something was afoot?
    (Finally, when did you learn to type? You are a most clever sock.)

  • Oh no. Now you’ve done it. An international incident. I’m telling.

  • okay-look at all you rock stars! wow! all you need is some guitars and a mic and you are golden.
    hope it all was fun and not sure what the left-behind sock means, but it means something, right?

  • The question now being is whether Canada will negotiate with socknappers.
    Hang in there sock!
    πŸ˜€

  • “perky evil”
    I officially fell in love with you the moment I read that.

  • Knitting Jedi mind tricks – very clever.

  • Okay, ladies…inquiring minds need to know…did she actually leave it behind by accident? Or, are you two crafty sock snatchers? I’m going to guess the latter. Anne did it? Perky evil strikes again? Wow.

  • Dear sock, your Mommy’s blog is overloaded with concern for your welfare. Play along with your captors until you have your freedom and then the fury of the ZEALOTSofDPN will extract their revenge for your cruel torture.The weapons of mass destruction will be zipped back in their crinkly baggies with knots in their cords.DPN’S of the world UNITE and FREE THE SOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Boy, one of the things people leave off “why you should knit” lists is that you get to read knitting blogs. Funny knitting blogs. HILARIOUS knitting blogs.

  • Dang proud of you.

  • Oh. My. Lord! There must be some Scottish in you two! No one else would so blatantly hold a sock for ransom. It’s a proud tradition and I am so proud of you for carrying it on.

  • Ahem. Now that Stephanie is at least feigning nonchalance about the disappearance, I think the sock should be sent to join Claudia’s donation booty.
    Either that, or a round-the-world pass-it-along where-in-the-world-is-Stephanie’s-sock tour.

  • OMG, that is too funny!! I know you’ll treat the sock well.

  • Are we even sure Stephanie made it home on the plane without her sock to knit on? Or did she have another project tucked in her carry on and didn’t even miss her? I don’t think we’ve gotten the whole story yet – kidnapping or rescue?

  • that is soooo funny!!!! that poor sock! I hope it doesn’t get a complex…

  • Giggling insanely.

  • That’s hysterical!!

  • lol…
    I think the poor sock should now seek refuge in the homes of Stephanie fans everywhere. It would be quite appropriate for that little sock to visit some knit bloggers homes, maybe show it a good time in the US while it is being held captive (I volunteer).

  • !!!ROFLOL!!!
    Poor sock.
    Poor Steph.
    Perky Evil? Priceless!
    (((hugs)))

  • If you care to send the sock my way, I’ll make sure she gets it back at the Petaluma function this Thursday. (obviously second day air would be required at this point)
    Jenn – email me for a snail mail addy if you like.

  • Dear Sock:
    You are in luck. Embedded in the pages of Socks Soar on Two Circular Needles is a micro-mini-nano-micro-chip which can be tracked by supersonic knitometer devices if we can only find one. I planned ahead for just such a sock-napping as you and Stephanie are now experiencing. So if Stephanie can only find a supersonic knitometer or even a submarinometric purlometer I am pretty sure we can find the misbegotten fiber bandits who have you in their grasp. In the meantime, do not lose heart, and know that if they are putting you on 2 circs, that each circ is equal to 2 dpn’s, and when you think about it, there is really no difference – you still have one continuous strand of yarn looping through loops forming sock geography.
    I am sure you shall be found! Do not lose faith!
    Love,
    Cat

  • Hee! That is all entirely too funny!

  • Perhaps an auction to raise the ransom money?
    Or else to see where the poor little sock lands next…..

  • What’s the ransom? A signed copy of each of Stephanie’s books? That’d be evil…not having to wait in line like the rest of the world? Hehehe. And I’m a, dare I admit it, *gasp* non-knitter. Be kind to the sock, please. It longs for its mate!

  • Yikes! Hold on dear sock, for ye shall be returned to your rightful owner, hopefully! Now whether or not ye shall be returned completed or still OTN, remains to be seen! Oohhhhhh, the drama!

  • OMG Cat’s post is too much fun! This is way more entertaining than griping about nasty LYSOs (although I’ve put in my four cents over at Alison’s just the same). I’m with the send-it-on-a-trip faction. The Roaming Sock. Everyone who gets it includes a memento so that when it *finally* gets back to Stephanie she can see that we really do love her.

  • maybe , just maybe, there is a diabolical reason why the sock was left behind.
    perhaps it is embedded with a secret chip to spy on “things”
    yeah, thats it… its a spy sock…… an embedded spy sock.
    stephanie, you evil genuis…..

  • Hmmm…I would share this delightful post with my hubby…but he already thinks my knitting obsession is a bit over the edge. Then again…this may just let him know I’m a little more ‘normal’ than he suspects!

  • Oh… poor baby… quick, somebody, quick, show it a package of Boye aluminum needles and knit it a wooby…

  • You know how Stephanie always takes pictures of a sock while she’s on tour–and how they are always pictures of knitters and landmarks, etc? What if y’all took all kinds of pictures of the sock in various places? I’m torn between it being like one of those kidnapped garden gnomes and all wholesome in fabulous venues OR if you should take the pictures of the sock in distinctly ANTI-Stephanie places. Like on a huge stack of Velveeta. On a slab of baby-back ribs. Or in the polyester sock bin at Wal-Mart. Being run over by a bicycle (not REALLY run over –we wouldn’t want to actually HARM the sock.) Bungee jumping.
    Sadistic? Hey, I got perky and evil going on in Texas, too. And I can’t WAIT for the next installment!
    –Barb

  • You know how Stephanie always takes pictures of a sock while she’s on tour–and how they are always pictures of knitters and landmarks, etc? What if y’all took all kinds of pictures of the sock in various places? I’m torn between it being like one of those kidnapped garden gnomes and all wholesome in fabulous venues OR if you should take the pictures of the sock in distinctly ANTI-Stephanie places. Like on a huge stack of Velveeta. On a slab of baby-back ribs. Or in the polyester sock bin at Wal-Mart. Being run over by a bicycle (not REALLY run over –we wouldn’t want to actually HARM the sock.) Bungee jumping.
    Sadistic? Hey, I got perky and evil going on in Texas, too. And I can’t WAIT for the next installment!
    –Barb

  • The sock needs to visit the Children of the Corn.

  • The Sock needs to visit an IndyKnights meeting (indianapolis star wars fan group – you live in the midwest, you learn to make your own fun.)

  • Send it to me. I’ll put it on a 40″ circ, cast on a second one, and turn them into 2-at-a-Time Socks! Mwahahahahahahaaa!!!!!!!!!

  • Yo sock…. get over it dude it’s called the mail. I know but no it’s not the E-mail. It’s the vintage one with the trucks, You’ll get some truck rides and an airplane ride. no sweat. The harlot lost track fo “things” cause (I think) she met Crazy Aunt Purl. How cool is that.

  • Don’t worry, little sock.
    The two circular needles won’t hurt a bit.
    Trust me — I’m a doctor.

  • Flaming orange, right? I’m sure you can hotfoot it out of there in no time.

  • I’m betting the sock gets Stockholm syndrome.

  • “Sockholm syndrome.” rolling on the floor, holding my ribs. oy.

  • that picture of Ann is PRICELESS! I’m killing myself here laughing!!

  • FREE THE SOCK!
    OMG people have you NO soul? (Or was that sole….)
    FREE THE SOCK!!!

  • Somehow, in the blank haze of horror as I was apprehensively reading, the thing that hit hardest was: “…he or she was totally unconcerned about chairs. Bizarre.”
    ::chokes up and stops while attempting to regain her composure::
    Courage, dear sock! Remember, you are a trained agent. Gird your dpn’s and wait for opportunities. And knitters, be warned; that nice, perky person you meet at a gathering might be a socknapper. Hold your WIPs tight!
    (I nearly busted something at both post *and* comments. Brava, everyone! And unless someone sneaks in ahead of me, I’m also finding it totally hilarious that I’m posting right after another PDX. Is this like blog stereo? I dunno if it’d be funnier if we’re both located in the left coast PDX, or if we’re one from each!)

  • Ohhhh, send the sock on tour. I volunteer to take it to the Georgia Aquarium or the World of Coca-Cola ….

  • Geez, you all seemed so sweet, but you totally socknapped Stephanie’s sock and then threatened it with Addis! And I have to say, in my opinion a sock on Addis will make more than just the sock unhappy (I’m not an Addi fan). But yeah, you should definitely send it back on two circs. Just make them Inox…

  • That post just made my day!! I came over after reading Stephanie’s post. I’ll being smiling to myself like a knitting fool for hours!

  • That post just made my day!! I came over after reading Stephanie’s post. I’ll being smiling to myself like a knitting fool for hours!

  • …and I know where there’s a nice outhouse door with a nail on it, just right for hanging the sock on and snapping a pic.

  • I volunteer to start the Socknappers’ Tour!!

  • LOL! I’m LOLing over here. Can you hear me LOLing? Very loudly! OTF, even!
    Priceless.

  • Best pic of Ann ever. Must put on new book jacket.

  • hang in there dear little sockie, my son in law is with the Special Forces, I will get him right on it!

  • Ok, little sock. Jack Bauer needs some more challenge. I recommend running over to FOX and seeing if he can take you back over the border to Canada. If he’s not interested, I’m afraid you’re out of luck. Without a valid passport, you can’t cross the border and you are an undocumented sock-alien. Turn yourself into Immigration Control and they will deport you to your point of entry; after that you’re on your own. I know, it’s harsh and cruel. Keep a low profile and maybe you can be smuggled into canada in the bottom of a knitting bag. I’d recommend blending in so as not to draw attention to yourself; therefore, the disguise of being on two circular needles is necessary to save your life. Suck it up and deal with it if you ever want to see home again.

  • That IS a great picture of Ann, but the BEST PICTURE EVER of Ann is the one with the Birch shawl. That one needs to go on the book jacket!

  • Dear Ann and Kay,
    I am offering,as ransom for the poor sock, 2 custom-made Stash Weasels. All I ask is that the sock be promptly returned to Stephanie unaltered and on the DPNs. We can negotiate, please free the sock.

  • How could the sock have possibly been separated from Stephanie? I suspect this is an inside job and the sock itself was longing to be set free and to travel the world before being shut away forever in a claustrophic cycle of sock-drawer, shoes and Mr Washie’s insides.
    Send it on tour! If Stephanie won’t come to New Zealand then let the sock come and visit the Land of Sheep for her! I’d be glad to pour it a Pinot Noir and let it play with my merino…

  • That “perky evil” keeps cracking me up over and over!

  • Hi Ann and Kay!
    It was lovely meeting you in person at BEA (I’m the girl that took the photo of all of you). Hope you had a great show!
    Have a great day!
    Shayna

  • I have tears in my eyes from laughing so much!

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Join us for a festive dinner at Vogue Knitting Live Chicago featuring Clara Parkes and us! Friday, March 9. Details here.