Kind reader Elizabeth D. sends breaking news: August is Celebrate Olive month!
For reals! There’s a whole website about it!
They have some interesting suggestions on how to observe Celebrate Olive Month. Number 8: “Sign up for school snack duty: Send the kids in with a few cans of California Ripe Olives (and a can opener).”
I’m not sure I want my kids known as Those Kids (Who Brought Canned Olives To School). There is enough bullying in middle school even if you don’t bring canned goods. I also question the suggestion about “edible jewelry” made of olives, particularly when combined with the bowl of olives at every meal. (Plain on weeknights, marinated on weekends. Needless to say.) (“Kids! It’s Friday night! The olives are SEASONED!” [thunder of footsteps into kitchen]) But if you’d like to co-organize some bi-regional olive marinating parties (suggestion #6: “Marinate With Friends”), let me know–those sound like fun! (Is “olive marinating” suburban mom-ese for “martini night”?)
I don’t know about you, but my whole day got better when I realized that I don’t have a job that requires me to think of ways to celebrate California olives. (Such as, write your kids’ initials on individual pizzas, in olives, which “takes the guesswork out of the serving game.” Finally, a solution to that problem!)
P.S. For obvious reasons, I cannot support the Ultimate Olive Cooking Contest. No new take on Brunswick Stew in this house.