A Day In the Life of a Noro Silk Garden Stockinette Scarf Using Two Different Colors in Alternating Stripes:
9:02 am: A scarf is born. As I cast on, I’m sitting in Sunday school listening to the dean of the church explain something about why the Anglican communion, the primates (whatever they are–aren’t primates apes or something?), the Lambeth conference, and something else (oh yeah–the entire southern hemisphere) are all upset with the Americans and the Canadians. It has to do with ordaining gay bishops and gay marriage. As far as I can tell, the Anglican church is going to split apart, and it seems to boil down to real estate. I am fascinated by the way two wildly different shades of yarn can have such a fine time together. I am filled with remorse for all the terrible things I’ve said about Noro yarns in the past. Multicolors? Bring ’em on! Furry/nurbly/irregular? The slubbier the better.
9:59 am: I look over and see my knitting fiend friend Judy working on yet another of Pam Allen’s corkscrew scarves. She knits these scarves the way Cezanne painted his mountain: often, and in endless colors. As the dean winds down the Q & As, I can. not. wait. to get back to this scarf. I can, however, avoid ever again listening to anything having to do with church politics.
2:15 pm: Cloudy, sixties, my kind of weather. I go outside to hang out in the screened porch which has finally emerged from the primordial ooze, while Clif jumps around all the low walls pretending to be Mario, the video game character. He does a perfect “Let’s-a gooooo!” The yarn is getting all wacky now, with a hot red and a sure-nough purple meeting up. I’m watching this scarf the way I watch Curb Your Enthusiasm: with a fascination that’s probably not too healthy.
3:35 pm: David returns from bowling with his friend. Farewell, scarf. I’ll always be thinking of you.
7:14 pm: I am officially out of commission to watch the Oscars. I even watch Bahbwa Walters interview Will Ferrell, which is excruciating. Surely she’d never understand the cowbell skit.
11:15 pm: Hubbo does splendid job of turbo-viewing the Oscars thanks to TiVo. I get kind of weepy thinking of Jamie Foxx talking to his grandmother in his dreams about winning his Oscar. The scarf has become a party in a rectangle. I’m a little concerned about what’s going to happen when I start the second balls of these yarns: will the change be noticeable?
Stay tuned. I am completely drunk on television and Silk Garden.