I’m not one to stress out about Christmas, but in the past couple of days, I have found myself behaving like somebody who is . . . knitting on a deadline.
Because I AM.
Back in July, shortly after the birth of our newest fambly member, I started a New Ancestral Christmas Stocking, just as I promised myself I would do forevermore, whenever a new fambly member arrived, or there was a baby who needed a Christmas stocking, or a baby I decided really ought to have a Christmas stocking whether or not he actually did.
It was summertime, I was feeling pretty smug about my organizational skills, and the whole thing was going to be great. My niece was going to get her stocking in plenty of time to be photographed in front of this stocking, icing forever the proof that this Christmas stocking was a part of her life from the get-go. Practically from the womb.
Yeah, two days ago I discovered–unearthed, exacavated, dug out–this bag of knitting while rooting around in my office. Not in some dank closet–in my lair, right there, about four feet away from me where it has sat for all these days while I’ve been shopping for cheap shoes online, watching Hamster on a Piano (Eating Popcorn). While–appallingly–I’ve been knitting garments for me.
Horrified, I sat down on the floor, right there, and finished the argyle part zipzap, and I’ve been working on this thing whenever I can.
I am somewhat comforted by the fact that I recall cranking one of these with an equal amount of desperation when we were photographing it for the book. I think it was still damp, or maybe my hands were still down there at the toe while Gale was photographing the top part.
I’m knitting the Fair Isle parts with the stocking inside out, so that the floats don’t pull too tight. I can hardly express how well this reduces the worry about tight floats. Eliminates it, really.
It’s also fun to see the reversed-out pattern as I crank this.
The only concern I have now is not that I won’t finish this. It’s that my other niece, baby’s older sister, really needs one of these, too. Like, in a week or so.
Announcing: The Will It Fall Down? Holiday Sweepstakes
The other source of creeping discomfort right now is this:
This year’s Christmas tree ought to have a novel written about it. All I’m going to say here is that once we diagnosed the crooked trunk and the hairline crack in the tree stand, we had invested so much time, brainpower, and screw-turning effort in this $*%&^% tree that we concluded that it looks really great exactly the way it is, and it reminds us of Pisa, which we really want to visit someday.
I will point out that the entire decoration of this tree is 100% unbreakable. All those fabby glass ornaments I’ve been collecting for the past decades? All settled down for a long winter’s nap–in the closet. I didn’t even know we HAD so many construction-paper-based decorations. So sustainable, this tree! So like a preschool around here!
SO. Here’s a contest. Leave a comment in which you predict whether our tree will fall down before 9 am Christmas morning. If you think it will topple, name the exact time. If you think it will stand, God bless you for your optimism.
If you guess yes, and the tree does in fact go, then the entry closest to the time of its collapse wins.
If you guess no, and the tree does in fact hang in there, I’ll draw a random winner from the nos.
A yarny prize from my stash to the winner.
And no, we’re not watering the $(%& thing.
Merry freakin’ Christmas, y’all!