Dear Ann,
It has come to my attention, looking at my ‘Favorites’ menu, that I have a knitting blog. I wonder why this is, since I don’t knit. Not that I can remember, anyway. I haven’t knit anything for eons, or at least the past week. What is this “knitting”? Do I knit? And if so, what do I knit?
Instead of knitting, I have been overseeing a variety of Baby Activities for a variety of Babies. Some events involved real babies, others, for reasons of public safety, involved baby substitutes:
Here, Lis is strapped and snapped in the Baby Bjorn Simulator Module, rehearsing possible Baby Bjorn Situation Scenarios in preparation for her upcoming trip to China to be united with her daughter Jamie. This particular Baby Bjorn happens to be our family’s Ancestral Baby Bjorn. It is sacred. My own babies spent many squished hours suspended in it while I walked the streets in search of adult conversation. It has been to China and back, twice already. It has been washed and dried and Febrezed countless times. Someday, when there are no more babies to ride in it, I am going to have it bronzed. Or something.
And then along came an actual baby: Rosie stopped by for a few days. Yay! Rosie Time! Carrie tenderly read to Rosie:
…while Joseph tenderly performed 24-hour surveillance on Rosie:
In this picture, Joseph looks like he is reading a book, when actually he is assuming a covert position from which he could, without detection by the subject, observe her every move. Joseph’s expertise at Human Intelligence was impressive. Rosie did not do or say anything even slightly against the Rules of Not Touching Things or the Rules of Not Turning Things On or the Rules of Not Making That Noise–she did not even have a look on her face hinting at an intention of violating these rules–without Joseph filing a prompt and detailed Report of her shocking lawlessness.
It turns out that even if you are 6, and even if you don’t much like your mother kissing you, you still experience a twinge if your mother kisses someone else, particularly if that person is younger than you and very cute and kissable. Upon kissing or hugging Rosie in what I consider to be a routine manner, or casually calling her ‘sweetie’, I would hear, from some distant reach of the apartment, Joseph calling out, ‘I love you, Mommy!’ Just because he loves me? I think not.
[Be on the alert, now, for some Knitting Content. If you blink, you’ll miss it.] Part of the Baby Rose agenda involved taking her with me on my search for provisions for Baby Jamie’s Baby Shower. Sort of a double-baby whammy. Rosie went with me on the subway(it’s noisy if you’re not used to it) and taxi, all the while wearing an adorable hat that Lis had knit for her. (That was the knitting content.)
Here’s some of the stuff we gathered for Jamie’s shower:
My decades-long study of Kaffe Fassett’s theories of colour! glorious colour! has had a profound effect on me. I spent an hour in Party City, trying to find just the right close shades of related colors to layer upon each other for an intense effect. And that was just the plastic forks. I also did some excellent work with napkins, paper plates, and cake:
Note: I didn’t make the cake. Note for Ann’s Brother-in-Law: I got the cake at the Cupcake Cafe. I asked them to use as many close shades of orange and pink and as many kinds of flowers as they had. Which, without missing a beat or changing their tone of voice, they did. I suspect that Kaffe has something to do with the Cupcake Cafe. That seems rather obvious.
The shower was a rocking success. It was a newfangled, New Age baby shower, in that men were invited. Men at these events are sort of sweetly clueless. They do not get the Basic Idea, which is to sit close together and cheer for the gifts. Instead, they stood around the table eating, and tried to understand the decorations.
It was a great week of babies. I’m exhausted. Gotta go learn how to knit.
Love, Kay
15 Comments
Ooo, I’ve been wondering about shower action. Very nice! I had a longer wait, so carried my (headless) rice baby Basmati for practice in the Bjorn. So glad you’re gearing Lis up ~
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! A shower for Jamie! I was thinking about you guys yesterday. Lis is clearly a natural with the Baby Bjorn of Love.
That cake is freakin work of art. The orange! The pink! I’m going to go knit something orange and pink!
As for the adorable Rosie, it is a good idea to have a cute little girl around at a baby shower. Example A: This Is Your Future!
Wish I could have been there.
Your post had me cracking up! Recently some friends brought their baby over and my Maddie was in “surveillance” mode — he he. So I could really relate to your story. Although Maddie is a little younger, so she was very much displaying the embarassingly selfish, those-are-my-toys hoarding behaviors also. Kids.
Hehehe. Thanks for the chearer uper. Yay babies!
…… hope you got joseph’s, “i love you, mommy” voice on tape???? remember, sob,….these are the “pearls” in this knitted life!
what a great shower! sorry to have missed it!
and thank you for reminding me indirectly to reclaim our baby bjorn from the last baby i lent it too! i want to have mine bronzed too, it is the only one baby item that i consider absolutely necessary!
is there any orange knitting we should know about too?
Now that is something. You guys definitely do that kind of baby party so much better than we do (actually we don’t really do it all much!) – why’s it called a shower though ? I too loved my baby bjorn and carried them in it till they just about broke my back – so close, so cuddly, so convenient !
You are entirely forgiven lack of knitting content as we got Rosie photos in lieu.
btw – a couple of e-mails I sent you have bounced back as undeliverable recently. was it something I said ??
As one of the guests of honour for the baby shower, I can only say that it was BEYOND FABULOUS. The photo of me here, however, modeling the Baby Thingamie is BEYOND HORRIBLE. Please note, to anyone who was as horrified by the photo as I that it was taken: 1) at the end of a v. long and harrowing day: 2) without the benefit of a shower, makeup, or anything slimming and/or flattering clothing. Although I am on the brink of motherhood, have I already slipped down the fashion slope? Lost my will to look good? In need of a stle intervention by Clinton & Stacy? Only the next few months will tell.
What you did not mention about the BEYOND FABULOUS baby shower were the many orange and pink bits and bobs….such as, the utensils displayed in an ORANGE sippy cup and baby blocks situated alll over the apartment with clever and appropriate bon mots! It was fabulous, even in the face of a flooded the bathroom!!
Thank you so much, Kay.
xo
e
Ever since the birth of our no. 2, our 4-year-old no. 1 has been telling/shouting to me that she loves me more often 😉
A secret? I heart the non-knitting related posts more often, too. I especially love the account of surveillance from Joseph. Apparently, he’s in training for the day when he gets to supervise the food table.
Thanks for making me laugh so early in the morn. Even though I do not have a baby bjorn. (see? a poem!)
A baby! In China! Hooray! Have a wonderful trip, Lis. It’s been almost 9 years for me, and I wish I was going with you! The Baby Bjorn is priceless. J was reported to be 15 lbs, so I actually stuffed a bowling ball in the snuggli for practice. (About that pic: you may feel differently about this pic after you see the pix of you at the end of two weeks traveling with a real live Jamie. You’re looking pretty collected there with that Bitty Baby.)
Oh, the memories! Strap the baby on the front, the backpack-diaper bag on the back, add a fanny pack filled with baby bottles… then try to go potty doing a deep knee bend in an asian-style restroom… believe it or not, it was all fun. All the luck in the world to you. I still can’t believe the just plain wonder of it all.
kay…. what is the history of the yummy, cozy granny square afghan in the background? this is what technicolor dreams are made of…..
Mmmmm, the cupcake cafe! I meant to get myself a birthday cake from there but I ended up not having time. Maybe I’ll just have to recelebrate soon with a cake… It’s amazing what they do with their cakes – they always make it exactly what you describe but you can also immediately tell it’s from there. I love it!
I just adore having men at baby showers (and wedding showers). Seeing it all through their eyes is just the most charming thing. We’re going to taste baby food and guess the flavors now? Seriously? Well, that’s odd, but okay…
Omigosh! What a lovely cake!